


Fire and Ice

by AmayaStrife



Category: Avengers (Comics), Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 10:27:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 43
Words: 56,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22968463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmayaStrife/pseuds/AmayaStrife
Summary: You were the last of your race, at least that is what you were told. You don't remember your parents or your people, all you remember is the dungeon walls you call your home. That is until you met the boy and everything changed. He helped you escape your prison and gave you a fresh start at life. You owed everything to him, little did you know he also owed everything to you.You were two sides of the same coin, one could not exist without the other, however that does not mean things were always perfect.*Story starts when you are kids and follows through to the events of Endgame...and beyond***Please read notes for better explanation**
Relationships: Avengers Team/Reader, Loki & Avengers Team, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 153





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> This story follows you and Loki's relationship from childhood to adulthood. At the beginning of the story, you and Loki are around 300-400 years old.
> 
> It starts before the events of Thor and will follow the MCU timeline through till Endgame. Some events are subject to change for story reasons but will stick to events and personalities of characters as closely as possible. 
> 
> This will be a VERYYYYYYYYYY slow burn, the relationship will build from random encounter to friends to confusing to...well no spoilers.
> 
> The first roughly 20* chapters will be dedicated to childhood after which the story will begin to follow the MCU timeline. 
> 
> Please be aware there will be **SPOILERS** for anyone who hasn't seen all of the MCU.
> 
> I will also have chapters that may not future Loki, or he will play a minor role. This is just to build up your character more.
> 
> Finally, I hope you enjoy. This Fic has been in my head for years, finally decided to get it out there for everyone to hopefully enjoy.

Cold. It was always cold. You hated the cold. How long have you been here? You turned back to the wall behind you. White marks covered the entire surface, at this point one would think the wall was white, not its original black colour. 

You sighed, “300 down…5000 to go.” 

Footsteps echoed through the dungeon. You turned your head back towards the front of your cell. You could make out three figures through the green lasers that made up the cell door. You recognized the two guards that had been your tormentors the past 50 years and retreated slightly more into your cell. The third figure you didn’t recognize, he seemed smaller, much smaller, then your captors. It wasn’t until they got closer you realized they were actually dragging the small boy between the two of them. They edged closer to your cell. You backed up even more until your back was against the wall. 

“How is this kid so heavy?”

“Shut up and pull your weight, we’re almost there.”

The two guards were bickering between themselves.

“Are you sure it’s safe to put him in with her?”

“It will be fine. Besides he won’t be here long.”

They came to a stop right in front of your cell. You held your breath, hoping you would just disappear into the wall behind you. 

“Shield’s up.”

The guards raised their free arms, a blue hue appeared in front of them. 

“Open cell 5.”

The green lasers disappeared from in front of your cell. The guard’s quickly throw the boy they were carrying into the cell. Making sure their shields stayed in front of them. The boy landed face down. He didn’t move.

“Close cell 5.”

“I hope you like your new friend, (Y/N).”

The lasers appeared once again. The guards dropped their shields and turned away. Their laughs echoed through the dungeon halls. You slowly breathed out but stayed plastered against the wall. The boy still lay on the ground, unmoving. If it weren’t for the slow rise and fall of his chest you would have assumed he was dead. You slowly inched off the wall towards the boy. He wore strange clothes you had never seen before. They were extravagant, too extravagant for a prisoner in this dungeon. You wondered where he came from, rather how they captured him, and why. He looked defenseless, innocent. You dared venture a little closer.

“Hello…” The word escaped your mouth no louder than a whisper. 

The boy didn’t move. He was out cold. You moved a little closer. Finally making out his face. He was very pale, his skin seemed snow-white against is black hair. You slowly stretched out your hand, poking the boy’s shoulder. He was cold as ice. You shivered at the touch but did not retreat.

“Are you okay?” 

You placed your full hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. The boy groaned a bit. But did not move. You were close enough to hear his breathing, which came out ragged and uneven. You paused for a minute, contemplating your next move. The boy groaned again, his face scrunched in pain, he was waking up. You quickly made up your mind. Moving your hand to his other shoulder, you slowly and carefully turned the boy over to lay on his back. You froze at what you saw. The boy had been stabbed in his torso, he was losing blood. You quickly examined the wound, removing his jacket and gently pulling up the fabric of his shirt. It looked like whatever stabbed him punctured one of his kidneys, if you didn’t do something quick, he wouldn’t last the night. You slowly moved your hands over the wound. You closed your (e/c) eyes, and slowly breathed out. Soon your hands began to glow an amber hue. You slowly opened your eyes which now glowed the same colour as your hands. The boys wound slowly began to close. Your brow furrowed in concentration. Beads of sweat began to form on your forehead, but you refused to stop until his wound was fully healed. Your vision began to blur, you could feel your consciousness fading, but you didn’t stop. You continued to use your power until everything went dark.


	2. Taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italicized words signal your thoughts.

Your head was pounding. That’s all you could focus on, the pain. You tried moving but your body refused. You slowly opened your eyes. Even the dark dungeon was too bright for you. You winced at the light and quickly closed your eyes again. Your head felt so heavy. _What happened?_ You strained to remember what had happened.

“He…o?”

 _Huh? Was that a voice?_ You could barely hear anything over the pounding in your ears.

“Ar..…yo…wake?”

 _Definitely a voice._ You tried to focus on the sound but could only make out part of what was being said to you. _Whose voice was that?_ You didn’t recognize the voice.

“Are..u….ok?”

 _The boy!_ The events of last night came flooding back. _He survived!_ You willed yourself to speak, to move, to do anything to signal to him you were alive. You tried to open your eyes again, flinching as the lights hit them again. You focused on finding the boy, pushing through the pain. You focused your vision, realizing you were staring at the ceiling of your cell. You tried to shift your head but a searing pain caused you to stop. You let out a groan.

“You are awake.”

A shadow moved into your vision, blocking some of the light and relieving some of your headache. You blinked a few times, refocusing your vision. The boy’s face came into view, he was a little less pale but fear was written all over his face. He stayed at arm’s reach, his eyes locked on to yours as if he was sizing you up. You stared back until he shifted out of your view. You tried shifting your head again but this time something stopped you. _Cold. So cold._ You froze. You realized the boy was holding you down gently by your shoulders. His hands were still cold.

“I would resist moving at this time. You seem to have hit your head. I bandaged you up the best I was able, but sadly I do not excel at healing.”

 _So that’s why my head feels so heavy._ You noticed pieces of his jacket were torn and figured that’s what he used to bandage your head. _I must have hit it when I passed out._

“th….u?” Your voice came out hoarse. _How long have I been out?_ You cleared your throat and tried again. “Thank you.”

A look of surprise flashed across the boy’s face but it was soon replaced with a sheepish smile as he turned away.

“A-Well, I could not let you die after you so graciously saved me.” The boy was looking at his hands which were fidgeting back and forth. _Wait! How did he know I saved him?_ As you began to playback the last night in your head you heard the boy breathe out. You looked back in his direction, he had plastered a calm façade across his face, but you could tell he was still on edge. He looked back towards you, “Thank you.”

You responded with a slight nod, as much as you could muster without hurting your head any further. Your headache had nearly subsided and you were regaining your ability to move. You moved your hand to inspect your wound. The boy seemed to notice and help you remove his makeshift bandages.

“It seems to have stopped bleeding, however, I am sure you have suffered some sort of concussion. I would suggest not moving for a while to let it heal further.” He removed the last of bandages from your head. “I am surprised at how quickly you have healed. When I woke up and saw your condition I had assumed you would die no matter my involvement.”

You gave a half-hearted laugh. “I am glad you took it upon yourself to get involved anyways.”

Your body was always quick to heal a unique ability of your race. Usually, a non-fatal injury would heal in a matter of hours. You must have exhausted yourself more than you thought for an injury like this to take so long to heal. You gently placed your hand on your head and used your other arm to slowly prop yourself up.

“I thought I suggested you not to move.” The boy begrudgingly helped you into a sitting position.

“Yeah sorry.” You groaned as you lay back against a wall. “I’m a little bit stubborn.”

The boy let out a small laugh, “clearly.”

He sat down beside you, still out of arms reach. You decided it was time to build some trust. If you both wanted to survive here you would need to trust each other. You turned towards him.

“(Y/N).”

The boy turned to face you. Eyebrow raised.

“(Y/N), that’s my name.”

The boy looked down as if weighing his options. You waited patiently until he looked towards you again.

“My name is Loki.”

“Nice to meet you.” You gave him a small wave and a little smile. He responded with a small smile of his own. You blushed a little. _He’s cute when he smiles._ You looked down, trying to think of something else to talk about.

“How long have they kept you here?”

You looked back towards him, then turned towards the back wall. Loki turned his head to follow your gaze. Your eyes traced over the tally marks on the wall.

“Too long,” you sighed.

Loki’s eyes widened at the realization of what he was looking at. He turned back to you. You saw pity in his eyes. You turned back to the wall.

“I stopped counting a long time ago, I’m guessing something like 300 years or so. This is the only home I remember now.”

“Why?” You looked back at Loki’s question.

“Why what?”

“Why would they keep you this long, you must serve a purpose?”

As if on cue footsteps echoed through the dungeon. You both turned to the cell door. _This is bad_. You haven’t had time to recover from healing Loki. If they come for you now it will not end well. You turned towards Loki. His calm demeanor was failing as a look of dread covered his face. Your hands were shaking as you heard the footsteps get closer and closer. You couldn’t let the guards see that you healed Loki, they would punish you, or him or both of you. _I have to protect him._ You let out a shaking breath.

“Move back.”

Loki turned towards you. You could see the fear in his eyes. You realize you probably looked just as afraid.

“Move to the back wall. Stay in the shadows until I come back.”

The guards were nearly at your cell. Loki crept towards the back wall, pausing a moment to look back towards you. You tried your hardest to look brave. You gave a slight nod then turned towards the cell door. You took a moment to gain your nerve, then slowly stood up, using the wall as a support. The guards came to a stop near the front of your cell.

“Shields up.”

The guards made the all too familiar motion and blue shields materialized in front of them. You slowly moved towards the front of your cell. Your head began pounding again but you ignored it. You tried to look as confident as possible.

“Well, well, not going to put up a fight this time?”

The one guard let out a loud laugh.

“Open cell 5.”

The door was disarmed and the guards slowly entered the cell. One stayed in front of you while the other circled behind. You were used to this dance by now, and while you normally resisted you didn’t have the will this time. One guard came from behind grabbing your arms while the other guard aimed a gun at your head.

“Aww come on (Y/N) I expect more from you.”

The guard behind you clapped special handcuffs on your wrists and pushed you towards the cell door. You nearly lost your footing. Neither guard seemed to notice, or care. The guard in front of you turned around, lowering his weapon and shield, and walked out of the cell. You followed shortly behind him. You could feel Loki’s eyes on you and you silently prayed he wouldn’t move. You made it out of the cell and continued walking through the dungeon.

“Close cell 5.”

You let out the breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. _At least Loki was safe._


	3. The Curse of Healing

­­­The guards lead you down the twisting corridors. At this point you didn’t need an escort, you could walk this maze with your eyes closed. Not that they would trust you to do that. Your head had ceased its pounding for now, but you feared that would not last long. _Not too much further. I wonder how many this time._ You turned the last corner coming face to face with the all too familiar black doors. One guard moved behind you grabbing your handcuffs.

“We have a lot of fun prepared for you tonight.”

The words practically dripped off the guard’s mouth. _This doesn’t sound good at all._ The other guard stepped forward pushing open the large doors. You were roughly pushed forward into the brightly lit room. Your eyes widened as you scanned the room. _So many!_ A slight gasp escaped your mouth. The room was filled with several injured guards and soldiers. Too many to count at first glance. You turned to the guards behind you.

“You can’t be serious?! This many will kill me!”

The guards raised their guns.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

“Besides, if you refuse or fail,” the guard charged the gun, placing it on your forehead, “you’ll die for sure.”

You swallowed hard and turned back to the injured men in front of you, clenching your fists.

“Fine.”

“That’s better.”

One guard backed away towards the outside of the room. He joined numerous other guards which formed a circle along the perimeter of the room. The other guard moved towards you, placing a hand on your handcuffs. He turned to the other guards.

“Ready?”

“Shields up!”

In unison, all the guards activated their shields. The entire room began to glow blue. The guard behind you pulled on your handcuffs, pulling you closer to him.

“Oh, one last thing, if you do fail and end up dying, we’ll just have to punish the boy instead.”

You couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped your lips.

“You didn’t think we noticed, did you? I mean it was fifty/fifty, we placed bets, would you heal him or incinerate him. Guess he got lucky, huh?”

The handcuffs clicked opened and the guard pushed you to the floor. You landed hard on your knees. Pain shot through both your legs. But you refused to cry out.

“Best get started or we might get bored and pay that boy a visit anyways.”

The guard sauntered away to join the others. You slowly stood up moving to the center of the room. Your knees were bleeding and you felt something wet drip down your neck. Your head must not have been as healed as you thought. You stopped in the center of the room and glanced around you. _25, 26, 27. 27._ You sighed, that was the most you ever had to heal at one time. _What the hell happened up there?_ You were used to a small number, 5 or 6 at a time. _There must have been a huge battle this time._ You didn’t have the time to wonder about the specifics, you needed to focus on healing, everything else would have to wait.

You slowly raised your arms out to your sides, once outstretched they began to glow. Your eyes slowly began to glow with them. An aura began to surround the room, finding the wounded, and covering them in an amber glow. You focused on their wounds. Most suffered from non-fatal wounds, however, a few were far worse off. You focused your power on the more gravely injured first, getting them into a more stable position before moving on to the others.

You were about a third of the way through healing the troops when your vision began to blur. _No! Not yet!_ You shook your head trying to focus harder but your head began to throb again. Stars began to form in your vision and your arms grew heavy. _Just a little more._ You pushed through the pain but your body gave out crumpling to the ground. Your vision went dark, and your body was too heavy to move. Your head felt like it was about to explode and you could barely breathe. You heard footsteps approach you.

“This is a real shame (Y/N), guess we will have to make a trip back to your cell.”

The guard grabbed your hand. _No._ You thought of Loki. He was innocent in this. You knew what they would do to him. Death would be a blessing. _No!_ You forced your body to move, shoving the guard away from you.

“I’m not finished yet.”

You practically hissed the words at him. You slowly sat up, unable to stand. _Just a few more. I can do this!_ You repeated the lie in your head over and over again, hoping to trick yourself into believing it. You shook your head a bit, regaining some of your vision. You moved to sit cross-legged and brought your arms out in front of you activating your power again. Your body did everything to stop you but you fought through it. Your vision was a blur but you could sense the bodies around you. You focused on each one putting more effort into saving their horrible lives than you had ever before. You grew dizzy, nauseous, weak but kept going. You began to lose feeling to your legs and arms, but you kept going. In the end, all you could hear was your own rapidly beating heart, a faint thud and then nothing.


	4. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is long and a little tedious. Kinda needed some exposition. I promise tomorrow's chapter will be worth it. I hope you enjoy it so far. Do not be afraid to leave comments. :)

_­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­So cold._ Death was colder than you thought it would be. _Why couldn’t it have at least been warm?_

“(Y/N)…”

A voice echoed through the darkness. _Loki?_

“(Y/N)!”

It was definitely Loki. _Wait, why was he here? Was he dead too?_ You tried to remember. _Did I heal them all? Did they kill him anyway? What happened?!_

“Please, wake up…”

 _Wake up? How do you wake up from death?_ You felt a cold weight on your hand which slowly tightened as if someone was holding it. _Cold…_ You remembered when you touched Loki before, he felt cold. _Is he holding my hand? Why can’t I see him?_ You concentrated on moving your hand. You envisioned Loki’s hand wrapped around yours and tried desperately to hold his hand back.

“Don’t leave me alone here.”

His grip grew tighter. You grew more determined. _I will not leave him._ You felt your fingers twitch. _I will not leave him._ Your fingers curled around the coldness. _I will not leave him!_ You felt your hand grip something tight as a bright light enveloped you.

“(Y/N)?”

Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of your name. You were laying on your back in your cell. Loki was hovering over you a look of relief on his face.

“You are alright.”

You just stared at him. _What happened?_ You still felt the coldness on your hand and looked down to see Loki was indeed holding your hand. Loki noticed this and pulled his hand away quickly.

“Wh---app—ned?”

“What”

Loki leaned a little closer to try and hear your hoarse voice.

“What happened?”

“I was hoping you could tell me. You left me here, remember. I did as you requested and stayed in the shadows until your return. What I did not expect was you returning in this condition.”

He glanced at your body than back to you. You then realized how much pain you were really in. Your knees stung, your head was throbbing and every breath you took felt like tiny needles piercing your chest. You groaned a bit as you tried to remember everything that had happened.

“What did they do to you?”

Loki’s eyes were soft as he gazed at you with concern. You slightly shook your head.

“Nothing.”

Loki’s eye’s widened.

“This is nothing?”

He gestured at your wounds. You sighed slightly.

“I did this to myself, it’s my fault, for being me.”

Loki backed away slightly. He looked at the ground and began fidgeting with his hands. After a moment he looked back to you.

“Whatever you are, no one deserves treatment like this.”

You turned away.

“You don’t know that there are many things that you do not know.”

“Then enlighten me.”

His voice was soft but held a hint of playfulness. Your pain began to subside and your breathing returned to almost normal. _Finally._ You turned back towards him.

“Help me up?”

“I would like to voice my opposition to moving you, but seeing as you will do it anyway.”

Loki gave a slight sigh before helping you move into an upright position. The movement sent new pain through your body, but you preferred to talk sitting up. Loki helped you lean with your back against the wall. You slowly pulled your knees to your chest. Loki took a spot next to you, close enough that your shoulders nearly touched. He seemed to be waiting for you to talk. You took in a deep breath.

“I was brought here, as you know, many centuries ago. They told me my family sold me to them as a slave. That’s my first memory.”

You pulled your knees closer and looked towards the ground. You didn’t realize you were shaking until you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“You do not have to tell me if-“

You shook your head and took another breath.

“At first I was just serving drinks and food to the leaders. But then my powers began to develop, and they found new uses for me.”

“Powers?”

You turned to look at Loki whose face was scrunched in confusion you returned the same look.

“You said it yourself, I saved you before, the stab wound, remember?”

“I had assumed you just nursed me back to health.”

Loki looked down at where his wound had been. A slow realization dawned on him as his hand traced over his smooth skin.

“There should be a scar.”

Loki turned back to you.

“What power do you possess, exactly?”

Loki leaned away slightly. Your gaze turned back towards the ground.

“I possess the power to heal wounds, this power also accelerates my healing and allows me to survive wounds that would usually kill others.”

“So you are a witch then?”

You turned to look at him. He had his calm façade on again but you could tell you frightened him.

“I don’t think that’s what it is. I was never taught magic, it was just something that manifested itself in me. I believe it is the power of my people.”

Loki looked down, fidgeting his hands once again. You came to realize he did this when he was thinking. He turned back towards you less frightened more sincere.

“So what do they use your power for then?”

Your breath caught in your throat. You didn’t want to tell him. More so you didn’t want to admit it to yourself. You were supplying them with a never-ending army. You cast your gaze down again placing your face in your knees which had already healed themselves. Loki must have sensed your unease as you felt him slide closer to you.

“I am sorry, I had no right to-“

“I he—t---m.”

Your voice came out muffled by your legs.

“What?”

“They make me heal their soldiers”

You spoke louder but refused to raise your head.

There was an awkward silence in the air. You didn’t know if he heard you and hated you, or didn’t hear you at all.

“Well that is not your fault is it?”

“What?”

You raise your head slightly and turn towards him.

“They make you heal their injured, my guess is if you do not comply they torture you until you submit. Am I correct?”

You nodded your head.

“Then it is not your fault. You cannot blame yourself for doing what it takes to survive.”

Loki gave you the softest smile you had ever seen.

“How do you not hate me?”

You could feel tears beginning to form in your eyes.

“You have saved me at least twice since I have been here. Why would I hate you?”

You turned back to your knees as the tears began to fall. Small sobs escaped your lips but you couldn’t stop. You had never felt kindness like this before. I was almost too much to bear. Loki hesitantly places a hand on your back slowly moving it back and forth. You focused on the motion and it helped calm you down. Your crying soon came to a stop and you slowly raised your head. Your eyes meet Loki’s.

“Sorry, I had no intention of making you cry.”

“It’s okay. I just, never had anyone be so nice to me before.”

“Well, you deserve it. Besides, I fear I am to blame for everything you went through last night.”

Loki dropped his hand to his side and turned his gaze to the floor. You face contorted in confusion.

“Why would it be your fault?”

He flinched a bit at your question and began fiddling with his hands again. You could tell he was thinking carefully about his next words.

“My family and I were on a peace-keeping mission in a distant land when we were attacked. We fought back but were ill-suited for battle. However, that did not stop my family from destroying most of them.”

He took a long breath.

“I assume the ones you were forced to heal last night were the survivors from that attack. I am sorry.”

“I don’t see why you are apologizing, you were only defending yourselves.”

Loki quickly turned to you.

“You do not understand. Not only should we have seen them coming, but there should also have been no survivors for you to heal.”

You could see guilt written on his face. You softened your voice, trying to reassure him.

“What happened to you?”

The question caused him to break eye contact with you again.

“It’s my fault.”

You barely heard his whisper. He seemed to be shaking. You hesitantly placed a hand on top of his. He froze.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault, none of this is.”

Loki nodded slowly.

“When they attacked, I got separated from my family. I tried to get back to them but walked into an enemy ambush. My family began to drive them back, so they took me as a human shield, stabbing me for good measure. All my family could do was watch as they retreated with me on board their ship.”

“Loki, I-“

Loki’s hand closed around yours.

“If I was smarter, stronger, I could have fought back, defeated them.” He breathed out. “I have caused you so much pain.”

His hand began to shake, you held it tighter.

“Even if that was true, it wouldn’t have mattered, they would have found someone else to attack. I would be in the same position. At least this way I got to meet you."

You gave him a small smile. Loki turned his gaze towards you.

“You are too nice.”

“That’s not true, I’m only nice to those who deserve it, my friends.”

“Friends?”

“Of course…that is…if you want to be friends.”

Loki nodded slightly gripping your hand a little harder.

“Friends.”


	5. Escape Plan

You woke up to a cold sensation on your hand. You slowly opened your eyes, taking in your surroundings. You were still propped up against the wall but your head was leaning on something softer. You cast your gaze down and realized the cold sensation was Loki’s hand against yours and something softer was Loki’s shoulder. A slight blush covered your cheeks. _We must have fallen asleep like this._

“You are finally awake.”

Loki’s soft voice practically whispered in your ear. You flinched slightly, pulling your hand away and popping up to sit up straight. You turned your head towards him.

“I didn’t realize you were awake.”

“I never went to sleep.”

“Wait, what? But we haven’t moved. How long was I out for?!”

You got a little embarrassed. _Was he just watching me sleep?_

“You passed out about halfway through our conversation. I figured you were still recovering. I did not wish to disturb you so I tried to stay still. Besides you were only asleep for an hour or so.”

“Oh…well thank you.”

“It was my pleasure.”

Loki gave you a warm smile and your blush grew bigger. You turned away.

“I don’t remember, what were we talking about before I…dozed off?”

“An escape plan.”

“What?! I really must have been out of it then. There is no getting out of here.”

“That is not entirely accurate. You informed me that they bring you food around the same time every day and that it is only one guard that does so. We could easily overpower him if we had the element of surprise on our side.”

“That is a big if Loki, besides, even if we get out of here, where would we go? It’s not like they will just let us walk out the front door.”

“This is true, however, if you can lead us to any place that has a view of the sky, I can guarantee an escape.”

You looked at him, his face was very serious, determined, you believed he was telling you the truth. For a moment you had the faintest flicker of hope, but then like an instant it was gone.

“I don’t know of a place that has a view of the sky. The only place I have been outside of this cell is still in the dungeon.”

“That is not true. You told me you used to serve them food and drink. Am I to assume you did that in the dungeon as well?”

You dropped your gaze to the floor.

“Well no, but that was so long ago. I don’t remember how to get back.”

“Concentrate (Y/N), think back.”

“You don’t understand Loki, this place is a maze. It’s not that simple.”

You looked back at him a flash of anger in your guys. He flinched slightly at your raised voice. You sighed then looked to the ground again.

“I’m sorry. I want to remember, if it could help us get out of here, I would do anything.”

“Anything?”

Loki leaned down to try and catch your eye. You turned to him.

“What are you implying?”

“What if I could help you remember?”

“How?”

Loki broke eye contact.

“I may know a way to retrieve memories. But I have only done it once before and it did not quite work properly.”

He turned back towards you a sheepish look on his face.

“Who are you?”

Loki sighed.

“I hail from the realm of Asgard where I train in magic.”

 _Asgard?_ The name sounded familiar to you but you couldn’t place it. You could tell Loki wasn’t comfortable talking about him so you didn’t push the question further.

“Will it hurt?”

“Not physically.”

You didn’t like that answer.

“If we did do this, found a way out. What is your plan for escaping the guard?”

Loki smirked then stood up. He closed his eyes then breathed out slightly. You watched him confused.

“This is.”

You nearly jumped at Loki’s voice which came from the other side of you. You turned towards him.

“What the hell!?”

You turned your head back and forth. There were two Loki’s now. One standing in front of you and one sitting beside you.

“How did you do that?”

The standing Loki stayed still while the sitting Loki rose to stand beside him.

“It is a little…trick I picked up. It works great for distractions.”

Something flickered in Loki’s eyes as he said that, but it was too fast for you to catch.

“It’s not much, only a projection and I cannot make him move. But it should be enough to distract the guard long enough for us to knock him out.”

You looked between the two Loki’s. Now that they were standing side by side you could see the differences between the two, in fact, they didn’t look much alike at all. However, the guard wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

“Okay that’s good and all but how are we going to get them to come into the cell? When they deliver food they usually just pass it under the cell door.”

“That is the easy part, we will both lie on the floor, pretending to be unconscious. I am sure they would open the cell to check on you at least.”

Loki had a point. You were their golden goose, they wouldn’t just let you die. You gazed up at the real Loki. _He is a lot smarter then he lets on._

“Okay. I’m in.”

Loki gave you a smirk as he lifted his hand, making his double disappear. He took a seat in front of you looking you in the eyes.

“Are you sure about this?”

You gave a slight nod.

“To find the way out I am going to probe around in your memory. The problem is I cannot control where your memories go you will have to lead me to the right one.”

“How do I do that?”

“Just think of when you were a servant, focus on those memories and I should be able to do the rest.”

You looked down and bit your lip.

“Loki, what happened, the last time you did this?”

Loki sighed.

“The last time I did this the individual was unaware of the effect it would have. Their memories were unfocused and jumped from one to the other. The result was that he experienced all the emotions from those memories all at once. He was…hospitalized for some time after. It was a sensory overload, they said.”

Your eyes widened at every word he said. You started to shake and couldn’t stop. Loki grabbed your hands in his and looked into your eyes.

“I will not let that happen to you. If I cannot find the memory or you get too afraid I can stop at any time. I promise, I would not hurt you.”

You slowly nodded. Your shaking had subsided. You breathed out, contemplating your options when you caught something out of the corner of your eye. You turned your head to the back wall, the one filled with the tally marks of your time in this cell. You had made up your mind. _I will be a prisoner no longer!_ You looked back at Loki.

“Let’s do it.”


	6. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **There are some sensitive scenes in this chapter as well as the next chapter. For those of you who are squeamish to violence, there are some scenes in this chapter, nothing too crazy but thought I would give warning**
> 
> Tomorrow's chapter may be long, I might break it into 2, but I will post both by midnight tomorrow. It is a very important chapter so I want to get it right. Sorry, this one is a little short, I just had to cut it from the long chapter because then it would be super long.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy :)

_Where am I?_ You gazed around at your unfamiliar surroundings. There were teal walls lined with golden columns. Before you stood a large wooden table filled with foods you never had the pleasure of eating.

“(Y/N), don’t just stand there. I asked for a drink.”

Your body turned towards the sound of the voice. You caught sight of a large man wearing white robes laced with gold. On his head was a crown made of golden leaves that stood out against his black hair. _Dionysus._ This was the man responsible for your current situation, the leader of this band of degenerates. Your body began to move on its own slowly towards him. You came to a stop directly in front of him. He towered over you, you may have been a couple of hundred years old, but you were no more than a girl. He gave you a wicked smile before stanching his drink off the tray you didn’t even realize you were holding.

“That’s better.”

He turned and sat at the table. He placed his drink down and patted his lap. _Not again. I can’t do this again._ You began to shake but once again your body moved on its own. You walked towards him, placing the tray on the table, then climbed onto his lap. Your head barely reached his shoulders but you could smell the stench of wine on his breath.

“Now let’s try this again.”

You grabbed a fruit off the table in front of you and held it up to his mouth. He took a bite causing the juice to drip down your arms.

“See it’s not so hard.”

He smiled at you, his teeth stained purple by the fruit. You cast your gaze down, not being able to look at him anymore. He took another bit but your hand had shift causing him to bite your finger. You winced as blood trickled onto the fruit and down your hand.

“You idiot!”

His hand connected with your face causing you to fall off his lap and onto the floor. He sat up storming to where your body had landed. You tried crawling away but were stopped by a column directly behind you. You curled up in the fetal position.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”

He threw what remained of the fruit at your head.

“Sorry doesn’t make it better.”

His foot collided with your ribcage causing the air to escape your lungs.

“The delegation is coming tonight. I need you to be the perfect servant for them.”

You gasped trying to catch your breath. He leaned down to you, grabbing your face in one hand. The anger faded from his eyes, instead was something much darker. He slowly caressed your arm.

“Or would you prefer becoming a different kind of slave.”

Your mind went blank in fear. _No._ You had caught glimpses of the other girls, heard their whimpering through the nights. _Anything but that._ You shook your head slightly, a tear falling down your cheek.

“Then I suggest you get better at your job, and quick.”

With that, he dropped you back to the floor and exited the room. You stayed curled up on the floor until you couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore. _I can’t do this anymore._ The tears began to fall, drenching your cheeks. _Stop it._ You didn’t know who you were pleading to, but you wanted it to be over. _Please stop it._ Your vision began to blur, the teal and gold melded together until everything went black.

“(Y/N).”

_Loki?_

_“(Y/N)!”_

You opened your eyes. Loki was hovering over you, sweating and out of breath.

“What happened to you?”

“Oh thank Odin you are alright.”

You lied there confused. Loki stumbled back and breathed out heavily.

“I thought I lost you there for a second.”

“Loki, what happened?”

He turned to you, eyebrow raised.

“You don’t remember?”

You brought your hand to your head, trying to remember anything. That’s when you felt it, tears, running down your cheeks.

“I was...I was in the dining hall, Dionysus was there, we were...having a lesson.”

You slowly sat up.

“That’s what you call that?”

Your head snapped to Loki.

“You saw that?!”

He turned away sheepishly and began to play with his hands.

“I saw everything.”

You turned away as well. A silence fell between you two. You slowly remembered what you were trying to accomplish.

“It didn’t work did it?”

Loki didn’t lookup.

“No. I could see the sky, but we still have no idea how to get from here to there.”

You bit your lip, then took a deep breath.

“Let’s do it again.”

Loki’s gaze shot up to yours.

“You cannot be serious.”

“I am.”

His eyes searched yours, but you did not falter. You did not want to be here anymore, what’s more, you remembered just how much you wanted to make Dionysus suffer. Loki let out a sigh.

“Are you sure? It might not go as well this time.”

You noticed Loki was still sweating and his breathing was still pretty laboured.

“Will you be okay if we do it again?”

He gave a small laugh.

“I shouldn’t be the one you are worried about.”

Loki moved to sit in front of you, he slowly took one of your hands in his and placed the other softly on the side of your temple. His eyes locked onto yours.

“Remember, focus on the memory you want and do not lose your concentration. It may feel real, but nothing can actually hurt you. This is all in the past.”

You gulped then gave a small nod.

“Do you have the memory?”

You knew exactly which memory you needed, but you weren’t sure if you could live through that again. You pushed through your doubt and nodded to Loki again.

“Yes.”

Loki nodded and closed his eyes.

“Loki?”

His eyes shot open, meeting yours again.

“Do not stop this time, no matter what you see or what I say.”

He gave you a questioning glance.

“Promise me, you will not stop until we find the way out of here.”

There was reluctance in his eyes but he slowly nodded.

“Alright, I promise.”

“Good. Let's go.”

You closed your eyes which still stung from the tears before. _I will find the way out!_


	7. Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sliding in just under the wire. Strap in, this one is going to be a long ride.  
> **WARNING** THERE ARE MATURE THEMES IN THIS CHAPTER!! TAKE THIS WARNING SERIOUSLY!!  
> If you are squeamish to blood and themes of rape be warned. It is nothing too graphic as I want everyone to be able to enjoy this story but it is definitely mature themes and may be hard to get through. That being said I have read far worse and there are no descriptions of sex or anything so hopefully, everyone will be fine.  
> On that note, the next chapter will be super fluffy to kind of compensate for this dark chapter, so if you want to wait for tomorrow to read so that you can find some release right away be my guest. I will probably post two chapters tomorrow seeing as the next two chapters will be short. From my calculations, there will probably be about 3-4 more chapters in this "time period" before I skip ahead to like 'teen' years.  
> I hope you enjoy and sorry this chapter is hela *snicker* long.

_Focus._ Your vision was blurred but muffled sound began to penetrate your thoughts. _Focus._ You could begin to make out the idle chatter and clinking glasses. _Just a little more._ Your vision began to clear and you were once again in the teal hall, only this time it was filled with party guests. _Delegation meeting my ass._ Dionysus always liked to throw these parties and claim they were for "business" or "political reasons." You glanced around the room, everyone at the party was dressed in extravagant clothes, glittering dresses, and three-piece suits. However, you noticed the wait staff were still in their standard servant robes. You glanced down at yourself, your robe was a little fancier than the other servants, unlike there tunics, yours only had a single sleeve with a long train that just reached the floor. You were Dionysus’ personal servant tonight, you needed to stand out slightly. You flinched as a hand snaked around your waist. _Speak of the devil._

“Remember, if you fail me tonight, you’ll have to serve me in other ways later.”

His hand slid down slightly as he pulled you against him.

“On second thought, maybe I should make sure you fail.”

His hand was still sliding down your waist. You tried to steady your breathing.

“Would you like me to get you something to drink?”

Dionysus gave a faint laugh before letting you go.

“I would love it.”

You slowly walked away trying to still your shaking.

 _It’s not real. It’s not real._ You made your way to the table, grabbing a tray and a glass of some sort of wine. You sharply exhaled then turned back to Dionysus. He was talking to two of the party guests. You realized he had changed his attire to match theirs. He was wearing a black three-piece suit with a blood-red shirt, his signature crown was nowhere to be seen. _Fucking chameleon._ You began to walk back towards him but stopped. Turning quickly you grabbed two more drinks, adding them to your tray, then made your way back to him.

“That is only partially correct, while most of our servants are…saved from hostile situations, some were given to us to settle debts.”

 _What a liar!_ You slowly came to a stop in front of the three men, holding out the tray to Dionysus.

“Ah, (Y/N). Thank you.”

Dionysus took the drinks, handing one to each guest and keeping the last for himself. You lowered the tray and gave a slight nod.

“(Y/N) is one such servant. Her parents came into a debt they could not settle. But being the merciful man I am, I forgave their debts and in exchange I got her.”

You glared at Dionysus who only smirked back.

“She is a beauty.”

You turned to the other two men, finally getting a good look at them. One was a much older gentleman his hair was a soft grey matching his beard the other was a blonde boy who looked the same age as you. They both had a sense of refinement about them, their suits were pristine and not a hair was misplaced on their heads. They were also both very handsome like they were sculpted by the gods. You realized you were staring for too long and bowed your head.

“No, let me look at you longer.”

You felt a rough hand on your chin as your face was forced up to meet with the older gentleman’s. His eyes searched yours.

“A rare beauty.”

You could hear Dionysus release a low growl and you were swiftly yanked away from the older man landing against Dionysus’ chest, his arm around your waist.

“I am terribly sorry, I would appreciate it if you would not touch our servants.”

You glanced up, Dionysus was wearing what you knew to be his fake smile. You heard the older gentleman clear his throat and turned to see him fixing his bowtie.

“In that case, how much for her.”

You could feel the air escape Dionysus’ lungs. He let out a small laugh.

“She’s not for sale.”

His grip on you grew tighter.

“Money is no object.”

Dionysus moved you behind him as he stepped towards the older gentleman. His voice dropped low, and you bit your lip. _He’s pissed._

“I said she is not for sale. I would suggest picking another one or leaving now before you ruin the night for everyone.”

You could feel the intensity coming from him, it was different when the anger wasn’t focused on you. It almost made you smile. Almost. You could hear the gentleman clear his throat then mumble something under his breath before walking away with the young boy.

“Damn Asgardians, think they own everything.”

 _Wait. What?!_ You knew you heard the name Asgard before, you just couldn’t place it until now. Dionysus turned back to you adjusting your robe which had become disheveled.

“You performed well, I have to admit.”

He pushed you back, pinning you against a pillar. He slowly leaned down whispering into your ear.

“But the nights not over yet.”

You froze, eyes wide. He pulled back and gave a soft laugh at your expression.

“You look cute when you’re scared.”

With that, he turned away to find some other guests. You stood leaning against the pillar, frozen, cradling the tray to your chest. _It’s not real._ You focused on calming your rapidly beating heart. You took deep breaths, slowly removing yourself from the pillar.

“Excuse me, miss.”

You turned towards the voice you didn’t recognize. Your eyes found a young man. His suit was slightly disheveled and his hair looked like it just lost a battle with a wind storm, and yet he still looked flawless. He was walking briskly before coming to a stop near you.

“I am sorry to bother you but I had a slight problem with my ship. I may or may not have fallen off of it well it was still in motion.”

He gave a weak laugh while raking a hand through his hair.

“Is it possible for you to show me to a restroom so I can fix myself up? I don’t want to be meeting Dionysus like this.”

He flashed you a beautiful smile.

“Pretty please?”

You couldn’t resist his pleas or his puppy dog eyes. You gave him a genuine smile.

“Certainly, right this way.”

You gestured with your arm to the north-west corridor before turning and walking in the same direction. The gentleman fell in step beside you, not to close but not too far.

“The name’s Vixen.”

He turned to you while keeping the brisk pace you set.

“Don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

You glanced his direction but couldn’t meet his perfect gaze and turned your eyes back towards the corridor you were heading to.

“I’m new here.”

“Ah, figures, I would have noticed you before.”

The comment made you blush slightly.

“You have a name.”

“(Y/N).”

You sneaked a quick peek at him. He flashed another perfect smile.

“What a beautiful name.”

You blushed some more before looking away. You finally made it to the corridor, making a sharp left turn and passing three doors before coming to a stop in front of the restroom door. You gestured towards the door.

“There is a sink and mirror in this room along with some towels if you need anything else don’t hesitate to ask.”

You kept your focus on the door as you spoke. As you finished you bowed your head before moving to pass him and head back to the party. You didn’t want to leave Dionysus for too long. But before you could make it past him he grabbed your arm turning you to face him. His eyes were downcast and he had a slight blush on his cheeks. He slowly released your arm.

“I am sorry to have to ask this, but my servant normally dresses me and fixes my hair. Would you mind coming in and helping me.”

You glanced over your shoulder, then back to him. He looked so helpless. You gave a slight nod before opening the door and walking into the room.

“We have to be quick.”

He quickly followed behind you.

“Yeah, of course.”

You grabbed a towel and began to run some water in the sink when you heard the door close and lock. _It’s not real._ You turned to face Vixen who had removed his suit jacket and tie. His soft features were contorted in some emotion you couldn’t read. He wore a smile on his face but this one was far different from the one you saw moments ago. _This isn’t real._ He dropped his jacket on the floor as he made his way to you.

“What are you-“

You were cut off by Vixen shoving you to the wall, pinning you there with his body. _He can’t hurt you._

“You know, I don’t normally go for them this young.”

He had your arms pinned above your head with one of his own and was leaning down to whisper in your ear.

“But you're just too cute.”

You tried to wiggle free but to no avail. The effort made him laugh.

“Sorry sweety.”

His eyes met yours. Those eyes you would never forget. _This is not happening. It’s not real!_

“No getting out of this one.”

He smashed his lips against yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth as you gasped. _He can’t hurt you anymore!_ You snapped your eyes shut and your mind went blank. You could feel multiple emotions bubble up inside you but couldn’t act on any of them. Vixen’s other hand roamed up your side snaking up to your chest. _It’s okay._ You could feel something building inside you. _You’re okay._ His hand found what it was looking for. _He can’t hurt you._ You had enough. You bit down as hard as possible, a metallic taste filling your mouth. Vixen screamed bloody murder before releasing your hands and backing away. You fell to the floor spitting the blood from your mouth.

“Bitch!”

Your eyes shot up at the words. Vixen's eyes were filled with rage and blood pooled from his mouth. Your body moved before you could think, you were running for the door. _He can’t hurt you._ You were nearly there. _He can't hurt you!_ Your hand found the doorknob and began to turn it. _He can't- A_ sharp pain radiated from your side. The air left your lungs and you let out a small gasp. Your hand dropped from the doorknob to your side. It was wet. You looked down and noticed your white robes turning red. You glanced over your shoulder and noticed Vixen was holding something in his hand. Your mind grew hazy and you crumpled to the ground clutching your side. _This isn’t real._ Vixen took a step toward you. _This isn’t real._ You tried to stand, but the pain was too much. _This isn’t real!_ Vixen was standing over you breathing heavily, eyes filled with rage. He brought the knife up. _THIS ISN’T REAL!!_

“No!”

You threw your hands up, slamming your eyes shut and preparing for the pain that never came. Silence filled the room, the only sounds being your ragged breath and pounding heart. _You’re okay._ You slowly opened your eyes. Vixen was gone all that remained were charred remains on the floor. A horrible stench reached your nose and you vomited. You crawled off to the side trying to get as far away as possible from whatever remained was on the floor. You realized the pain in your side was beginning to subside. You looked down to see that your stab wound had nearly healed. You didn’t know what was happening. You curled up into a ball against the wall slowly rocking back and forth, trying to stop the shaking. You could hear muffled sounds from beyond the door but could care less. You stayed in that position for what seemed like hours before you heard the pounding.

“(Y/N).”

More pounding. You didn’t answer.

“(Y/N)!”

The door flew off its hinges. A single figure entered the room. You stared at him but couldn’t see him. You realized you were crying, tears blocked your vision.

“(Y/N).”

You recognized the voice as Dionysus. He surveyed the room taking in the bloodied knife and charred remains on the floor before turning to you. He crossed the room and knelt down to you forcefully pulling your arms up to reveal your side. Your robe was torn and was covered in blood, but your side was perfectly healed.

He looked at your eyes and you noticed a soft amber light reflecting in them. He released your arms.

“Finally.”

He stood up and began walking to the door.

“Took you long enough.”

He stepped through the door and out of view. You sat there, dumbfounded. Your breathing slowed and your heart rate returned to an almost normal level. You attempted to stand when two guards you didn’t recognize came into the room. They crossed the room quickly coming to either side of you and each taking an arm before forcibly picking you up to a standing position. They pulled your wrists behind your back and clapped something heavy on them. Dionysus reentered the room coming to a stop in front of you. He placed a hand under your chin and forced you to look at him. You looked him in the eyes, the amber light was gone.

“I thought you might never awaken your power.”

He shot a glance over his shoulder, to what you realized was what remained of Vixen.

“I guess you just needed the proper motivation.”

He let your chin go and turned away.

“Pity, I would have loved to be the one to force that out of you.”

He gave the charred corpse a soft kick before turning to face you.

“Then again, I do like being alive.”

He turned back and began to exit the room, stopping at the door to cast one more smirk your way.

“Maybe once you’ve learned some control, we can have some fun.”

With that, he left the room. You could feel your body shaking again and realized the taste of blood never left your mouth. The guards gave you a soft shove from behind causing you to stumble forward. The guards held you up by your arms and began to walk you outside the room. You passed by Vixen’s body still not fully understanding what happened. The guards forced you through the door turning you to your right, away from the party. You continued down the corridor making a few turns here and there before stopping before a large pair of black doors. One guard stepped in front pushing the doors open revealing a darker corridor and steps that seemed to lead to hell.

“Let’s go.”

The other guard pushed you forward and you began to walk down the steps. After what seemed like an eternity you reached the bottom. The guards walked you past many cells each lit by the green lasers that acted as the cell doors. They lead you through a maze of turns. _Right. Left. Middle path. Left. Left. Before_ stopping in front of a cell that was the lone one in the entire corridor.

“Open cell 5.”

The green lasers disappeared. The guards removed the handcuffs from your wrists before shoving you inside the cell. You fell face first, hitting the ground hard.

“Close cell 5.”

The green lasers reappeared. You heard the footsteps retreat from the corridor, but didn’t move, you couldn’t move. You lay there staring at the back of your cell. Your vision began to blur as the cell wall became more white than black.

“(Y/N)…?”

The voice was so soft, you almost didn’t hear it.

“(Y/N), your safe now.”

You turned your head slightly noticing a figure in the distance. _Loki._ You realized you had curled up into a ball. Tears were streaming down your cheeks and your nails were digging into your legs. Loki moved closer to you reaching an arm out for you but he froze when your eyes met his. You noticed the fear in his eyes, you could recognize that fear anywhere. He was afraid of you, just like everyone else. But who wouldn’t be, you were a monster.


	8. Not alone

You were the first to break eye contact, bringing your knees to your face trying to control your tears. You may have found a way out of this dungeon but you lost the closest thing you had to a friend in the process. Flashbacks of your memories played in your mind, Vixen’s eyes, his charred remains, his hands. _It’s all in the past. It’s over. He can’t hurt you._ You desperately attempted to calm yourself down but failed. You continued to relive the memories in your head, causing soft sobs to escape your lips. Your nails were now tearing into your legs. _It’s too much. It’s too real._ You could feel the blood begin to trickle down your legs but your fingers just dug in harder. _Somebody save me!_ You felt something cold against your hand and flinched. You lifted your head slightly and realized Loki was slowly prying your hands from your legs. He turned to face you.

“I know you excel at healing, but that does not mean you should purposely harm yourself.”

You couldn’t look away from him as he slowly took both of your hands in his. He rubbed his thumbs slowly over the tops of your hands.

“It is going to be okay. He’s gone. It is just me here. I will not hurt you. I promise.”

You stared at Loki in shock, but his eyes never left yours. The fear was still there, but his expression was soft. He kept running his thumb over the back of your hand repeating the same words over and over again.

“I will never hurt you. You are safe.”

You felt yourself begin to calm down. The memories began to fade from your head and the tears slowly came to a stop. Loki gave you a soft smile as he saw you finally relax.

“Better?”

You gave a slight nod before shifting into a kneeling position. Loki still held your hands making sure to continue the calming motion. You sat in silence watching his hands, before gathering the courage to speak.

“Why?”

“Hmm?”

Loki gave you a questioning glance. You looked up at him.

“You saw what I did. You know what I am. Why are you still helping me?”

“What I saw was you defending yourself, nothing more.”

“That’s a lie.”

You looked him in the eye. The softness in his face began to fade, but he never let go of your hands.

“No, it is not. I would be lying if I said I was not afraid of your powers. But I am not afraid of you. If you wanted to hurt me you would have already. Your powers make you different, but they do not make you a monster.”

You felt the tears begin to form in your eyes again, you closed them trying to hold the tears back, but a few escaped. You felt the drops begin to fall down your cheeks but they soon stopped. You opened your eyes to see that Loki had released one of your hands and was wiping the tears away with his sleeve. Your tears soon stopped and Loki pulled his hand away.

“It also doesn’t change the fact that I am your friend.”

You dropped your gaze as the tears began to fall again. _Why was he so nice?_ You bit your lip to try and quiet your sobs. _You didn’t deserve him._ You sensed Loki shift position and move beside you. You felt his arms surround your shoulders then tug you slightly to the side. You began to topple sideways but was stopped by Loki’s chest. You realized he had you in a full embrace, his arms holding your back and your face against his chest. You froze for a moment before bringing your hands up to his chest and burying your face further into his chest.

“It’s going to be okay. I am here for you now. No one will hurt you again. I promise”

You knew he was lying, no one could promise that, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was now you had a friend. Even if someone did hurt you, at least you weren’t alone.


	9. Escape pt. 1

“I think we can make it.”

Loki was still holding you against his chest, you didn’t know how long you two had been like that and you didn't care, it was comforting. Loki continued to speak.

“It is not too far. If those doors are not locked, I think are plan will work.”

You nodded slightly into his chest. Loki glanced down at you.

“Would you be willing to do it today, or would you rather wait?”

You slowly sat up, pulling yourself away from him. You brought your hands up to your face, wiping away the few tears that remained.

“I want to leave as soon as possible.”

Loki smirked at your response.

“Now that sounds like (Y/N).”

You gave a small laugh, beginning to feel like your old self. Loki went through the plan again adding in the addition of the path we would take. You listened intently, nodding along as he drew imaginary lines on the floor. You tried your best to focus on his words but something pulled in the back of your mind.

“-and once we get to the doors we will follow-“

“Did you know them?”

The words escaped your lips before you even registered the thought in your head. Loki stopped mid-sentence and looked up at you. You were just as stunned as him.

“What?”

There was a sense of irritation in his voice. You realized what you were asking, and rephrased the question.

“Sorry, it just popped into my head. But I need to know. You said you were from Asgard right?”

You gaze locked with his. You could see him trying to piece your words together, then something clicked. His gaze dropped and he turned away. You asked the question again.

“Those two people from my memory. They were Asgardian. Do you know them?”

“Yes.”

His response was short and quick as if he was ashamed. He kept his eyes on the ground.

“I see…”

You wanted to question him further but didn’t want to make him more uncomfortable than he already was.

“I didn’t know they had met these people before the attack, maybe it was less of a surprise attack then I thought.”

You didn’t quite catch what he said, you assumed he was mostly saying it to himself. He was fiddling with his hands again, you could tell he was contemplating something. You couldn’t stand the awkward air that fell between you two.

“Sorry for interrupting you. Let’s go over the plan one more time. The guard will be here soon.”

Loki paused before turning back to you and nodding.

“That is probably a good idea. I would hate for you to turn down a wrong corridor.”

A playful smile appeared on his face, you scoffed.

“I’m sorry but, who was the one who found the way out of here?”

You crossed your arms and puffed your chest, but couldn’t keep yourself from smiling.

“Ah, but who’s genius plan was it in the first place?”

Loki matched your stance a smirk on his face. He was right, without him you wouldn’t have dreamed of ever escaping this place. _If we live, he's never going to let me live this down._

“We aren’t out of this place yet so don’t go getting a big head.”

You playfully poked his shoulder. Loki skillfully caught your hand pulling you slightly closer to him.

“I do not know what you are talking about.”

You both stayed like that for a moment before breaking away laughing.

“You’re so weird.”

“You are one to talk!”

You could barely hear the echoing footsteps over your laughter. You froze catching Loki’s gaze. You both fell silent. Loki gave you a quick nod before standing and moving into the shadows. You quickly dropped to the floor, laying on your stomach, your head facing the back of the cell. A soft green light blurred your vision before slowly disappearing to reveal Loki laying in a similar position in front of you. The footsteps grew closer, louder before coming to a stop. You closed your eyes and slowed your breathing as much as possible. You heard a soft gasp.

“What the hell!? Open cell 5!”

The hum of the lasers disappeared. Footsteps rushed into the cell. You felt someone kneel beside you, placing a two fingers on your neck. _Time to get out of here._


	10. Escape pt.2

The guard felt around your neck looking for a pulse. _Just a little closer._ He shifted his fingers slightly up and you took the opportunity. Your eyes shot open and you whipped your head towards the guard's hand, biting on whatever flesh you could find.

“What the fuck?!”

He smacked you with his free hand forcing you to let go. You fell to the side landing next to Loki’s double. You knew you inflicted some damage to the guard as you could taste blood in your mouth. You turned your gaze to him, he was examining his hand. You caught his eye. _Well, he’s pissed._

“You bitch!”

He drew his gun with his good hand and aimed it right at you.

“You’ll pay for that.”

He moved to pull the trigger, you closed your eyes. _Loki!_ The sound of the gun firing caused you to gasp, but you felt no pain. You slowly opened your eyes to see that Loki had pushed the guard's arm, causing the shot to hit the ceiling.

“Hurry.”

Loki’s voice was strained as he tried to hold the guard's arm still. You slowly stood up but couldn’t move further. You caught a green flash out of the corner of your eye. Loki's double had vanished.

“I. Got. This.”

Loki was barely holding the guard in place, he had the guards full attention. _This was your chance._ You dashed towards the cell door.

“I don’t think so.”

You heard a thumping sound, then something heavy hit the floor. You froze, half out the door. _Just keep running._ Your body wouldn’t obey, instead, it turned back towards the inside of your cell. Loki was on the ground, blood trickling from a cut on his forehead.

“I told them we should have just killed you in the first place.”

The guard aimed the gun at Loki. _No._ Your body was moving before you could even think. You ran towards the guard tackling him to the floor. His gun fell from his hand, sliding out of reach. Both of you rolled a few times before hitting the back wall. The impact knocked the air out your lungs causing your vision to blur. You tried to stand, using the wall as support but were pulled down by your hair. You landed back on the floor, your hair yanking your head back. The guard's legs wrapped around your waist, keeping you down. You felt something sharp against your neck and struggled to escape the guard's grasp but each movement caused the knife to cut into your neck.

“They told us you might not be able to die, shall we test that theory?”

The knife pressed against your neck causing blood to drip down to your chest. You felt tears forming in your eyes. _Not like this. We were so close._ You felt the blade dig a little deeper, you closed your eyes as the tears began to fall. A loud pop echoed through the dungeon. _What?_ Your eyes shot open. You felt the knife slowly fall from your throat as you were pulled backward by your hair. You fell to the ground landing on top of the guard. His grip on your hair loosened so you took the opportunity to scramble free. You crawled a few feet away before turning back to look at him. Blood pooled around his head. You clasped a hand over your mouth to stifle a scream. Your body was shaking uncontrollably but you couldn’t turn away.

“Are you okay?”

Loki’s exhausted voice snapped you out of your meltdown. Your eyes searched the room for him, finally landing on his figure. You gasped. He was barely standing, blood covered his one eye completely. In his hands was the guard’s gun. Your eye’s met his. He repeated the question. You gave several small nods, still being unable to speak.

“Good-“

Loki’s eye’s glazed over, he slowly fell to his knees. The gun clattered to the floor as Loki collapsed to the ground.

“Loki!”

You shook the haziness from your mind and rushed to his side. _Please be alive._ You slowly turned him on his back, resting his head on your lap. His chest slowly rose and fell, he was breathing, but barely. You gently brushed his hair off his forehead, inspecting his wound, which you discovered to be a lot deeper than you thought.

“Loki…”

You took a deep breath, your neck stung, but you ignored the pain. You placed your hand on his forehead focusing on the wound. Your hand started to glow and the wound closed slowly. Loki’s breathing became steadier and his eyes fluttered open. You caught a glimpse of your glowing eyes reflected in his and flinched, your power dissipated. _Shit._ You tried to heal him further but your body wouldn’t cooperate. You closed your eyes trying to concentrate when you felt something cold touch your neck. You opened your eyes and realized Loki was inspecting the wound on your neck. His eye’s moved from the wound to you.

“Are you okay?”

You nodded. You could feel the stinging in your neck subside. In a few minutes, no one would even know you were injured, there would be no evidence, aside from the dried blood that coated your neck and chest.

“Thanks to you.”

Loki smiled at your answer. He dropped his hand, and slowly propped himself up with his arms.

“That did not really go as planned, did it?”

He groaned slightly as he reached for his head.

“No, it didn’t.” You sighed. “Are you okay?”

Loki was busy inspecting his head, but he turned to you at your question.

“Yeah, thanks to you.”

He gave you a playful smile before turning towards the cell door which was still open. Loki slowly rose to a standing position. He swayed slightly, shaking his head, before turning to you.

“Shall we?”

He held his hand out to you. You smiled at his gesture before grasping his hand. He pulled you up before turning back to the open cell door. He took a deep breath before beginning to walk towards the door, you felt a slight pull and realized Loki was still holding your hand. You quickly followed behind him. He came to a stop in the doorway, and you stopped beside him. He turned to you.

“Ready?”

You nodded. He gave your hand a quick squeeze then took a step outside the door.


	11. Escape pt. 3

You both dashed through the halls of the dungeon, Loki slightly ahead of you leading you by the hand. _Right. Right. Middle path. Right. Wait. Something’s wrong._ You both came to a quick stop. You were staring at a wall. _Dead end._

“This does not make any sense.”

Loki stared at the wall in confusion. You turned to him.

“We must have made a wrong turn.”

Loki shook his head.

“We followed the path you took to the letter. Unless they redesigned the dungeons.”

Loki turned to look at you. You felt your heart drop. _No. This can’t be happening._ Footsteps echoed through the dungeon followed by muffled shouts.

“They know we have escaped.”

Loki glanced down the path you just came from then moved to pull you down another path but you stood rooted in place. Loki swiftly turned to you.

“If we do not find the way out we are as good as dead.”

You shook your head.

“This is the way out.”

“Normally I would admire your stubbornness’, but we do not have the time to argue.”

Loki tried to pull you again but you pulled away.

“This is the way out Loki!”

Loki flinched at your raised voice. You didn’t mean to yell at him but you couldn’t control yourself, your fear was taking over. Your hands began to shake so you clenched them in fists. You bit your lip trying to calm your voice.

“I know this is the way. Walls don’t appear from thin air...”

 _That's it!_ You turned back to the wall, walking slowly towards it with your hand outstretched in front of you. _A trick. It has to be._ Just as your hand was about to make contact with the wall it dissolved in front of you, leaving a clear path. You let out a surprised laugh then a relieved sigh. You turned to Loki.

“Just like your magic.”

Loki grunted in anger.

“A little too excessive for my tastes.”

“Oh come on!”

You quickly grabbed his hand and dashed down the corridor. _One more turn._ You pivoted to your left freezing when you saw the stairs at the end of the last corridor.

“We made it.”

“Not yet.”

You turned to him and noticed he was looking behind him. Lights danced off the walls and shadows moved quicker and larger towards you. Yells began to fill the halls.

“Run.”

Loki dashed ahead pulling you behind him. You flew up the stairs skipping two at a time, but the yells grew closer. Loki scoffed before freezing to turn towards the bottom of the stairs.

“What are you-“

Loki closed his eyes and waved one of his hands. One of his doubles appeared in an attack stance, holding a knife.

“Let’s go.”

Loki grabbed your hand and once again you were climbing the stairs.

“Will that work?”

“Hopefully.”

You could tell using his magic took a lot more out of him them he lead on. He began to slow down, his breathing grew heavy and sweat began to drip down his neck. You caught a glimpse of the doors in front of you and smiled. _We made it!_ Loki quickly grabbed the handle of the door yanking it towards him. Light slowly began to fill the staircase. You winced covering your eyes. _Sunlight._

“They reached the door. Hurry.”

You both turned back, the guards were nearly up the stairs. You both turned back towards the door, and dashed through, letting it close behind you.

“Did you think it would be that easy?”

 _No._ You both froze. Countless guards surrounded you blocking every path.

“We had this door covered as soon as you stepped outside your cell door.”

You recognized the voice, it was the voice that haunted your dreams. You turned your head until your eye’s found him. _Dionysus._ He was wearing his signature robes and crown, looking exactly how you remembered him. He slowly stepped towards you, but a figure blocked your vision. Loki had stepped between you and him.

“Ah, the Asgardian. You are a lot more trouble than I thought you would be. But then again, what can I expect, given who your father is.”

Loki’s back tensed at his words but he didn’t speak. Dionysus sauntered closer to him.

“You know he hasn’t even tried to negotiate your return. Does he even know you’re missing?”

That was his tipping point. Loki launched himself at Dionysus, landing a punch to his stomach. Dionysus didn’t even flinch before grabbing Loki’s arm and twisting it behind his back. He held him out in front of him towards you. Loki struggled against his grip but couldn’t get free. Dionysus locked eyes with you.

“I expected more from you (Y/N). Where’s that anger from before? Don’t you want to save this boy?”

He pulled Loki’s arm slightly causing him to yelp in pain.

“All you have to do is kill me. Come on, Where is that fire of yours?”

He pulled Loki’s arm more causing him to yell. You raised your hand to Dionysus. _I can’t._ Dionysus noticed your hesitation and smirked.

“You still can’t control it can you? Fine then.”

He dropped Loki’s arm but quickly grabbed him by the neck holding him out to the side. He nodded to a guard who aimed his gun at Loki. Dionysus turned back to you.

“Kill me or he dies.”

Your still outstretched hand began to shake as tears of frustration fell from your eyes. You glanced at Loki who was focused on you a mixture of fear and anger in his eyes. You pulled your eyes away to glare at Dionysus.

“If you want to die so bad why don’t you just shoot yourself?!”

Dionysus smirked. Your hand began sparking amber flames.

“Too late.”

Dionysus nodded to the guard, who cocked his gun before pulling the trigger. Your mind went blank. All you could focus on was the sharp pain in your chest. You gazed down noticing fresh blood on your clothes. You moved your hand to the wound in your chest. You tried to breathe but each breath took in no air. You fell to the floor.

“(Y/N)!”

 _Loki?_ You turned to the sound of his voice which was now behind you. _How did I get here?_ You realized you had moved between the guard and Loki. _What happened?_ In the confusion, Loki must have broken free as he was now rushing to your side.

“He-m—l!”

 _What?_ Your vision grew cloudy and you felt something cold cradle your head and cover your wound. _Loki?_

“H—d—l!”

Everything grew muffled and your vision went dark. The last thing you felt was the sensation of your body floating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter before the time skip. I hope you are enjoying so far.


	12. Asgard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied....I separated this chapter into multiple chapters cause it was too damn long. So one chapter is now three. However they will all be posted in the next hour or so, so the chapter tomorrow will still be the first one after the time skip. Enjoy.

Muffled voices filled a room, but you couldn’t recognize any of them. _Where am I?_ Your chest felt heavy, every breath you took stung. You began to gasp for air.

“My lady?”

“She’s finally coming too. Go fetch me some water please.”

You felt someone move beside you.

“It’s alright. You’re safe now.”

 _Her voice is so calming._ You felt a hand graze your forehead and cheek before coming to rest on your hand.

“No one can hurt you here.”

You felt a calming presence overwhelm you. The weight rose from your chest and your breathing returned to normal. _Magic?_ You chanced to open your eyes which were met with harsh light. You winced. The figure beside you turned but kept hold of your hand.

“Quickly draw the curtains, this light is too much for her.”

You heard some people move swiftly and sensed the room get darker.

“There that should be better.”

You chanced to open your eyes again and were met with a dark room. The walls looked like they were made of gold and they reflected what little light was allowed into the room. You cast your gaze to the side and caught the eyes of the one holding your hand. _She’s beautiful!_ A blonde-haired woman was warmly smiling down at you. Her hair was tucked into a bun but soft curls covered her gentle face. She wore warm yellow robes that highlighted her tanned skin. Her overall presence displayed a caring mother.

“Where am I?”

Your voice was hoarse, you barely recognized it as your own.

“You are in Asgard, in the royal palace.”

 _Asgard?_ Memories came flooding back. The dungeon, the gun, Loki cradling you in his arms. You shot up from your bed.

“Loki!”

The sudden movement caused your head to grow dizzy, stars filled your vision and you fell back on the bed. The women grasped your hand harder and gently rubbed your arm.

“He’s okay sweetie. He’s in his room resting at the moment.”

Your head fell to the side and you caught her gaze. You searched her eyes but found no trace of a lie.

“I want to see him.”

“In time, for now, you must rest further.”

You heard a door open followed by someone shuffling quickly across the floor. Another woman entered your vision carrying some sort of pitcher.

“Here you are, my lady.”

“Thank you, Asta.”

The woman released your hand and grabbed the pitcher. She turned away grabbing a glass off a table behind her and proceeded to pour water into it. She placed the pitcher down and turned back to you.

“You must be thirsty.”

You nodded. She used one arm to help you slowly rise to a sitting position. Before holding the glass to your lips. You slowly sipped the water, not realizing how thirsty you were until you emptied the glass.

“Better?”

You nodded. She turned away placing the glass back on the table. You opened your mouth to ask her a question but were interrupted by the doors once again opening. A single man in gold armor walked into the room.

“My lady, the King requests your presence in the throne room, along with the girl.”

You didn’t like how he said that, and apparently neither did she.

“She has a name.”

The women quickly rose to her feet and glared at the guard, who flinched.

“Ah- right, he requests…uh…”

The guard turned to look at you. You panicked and turned to the woman who you realized was gazing softly at you.

“Your name sweetie.”

You turned back to the guard, clearing your voice.

“(Y/N).”

“Very well, (Y/N). Please come with me.”

“She will not.”

You both turned to the woman, who was staring intently at the guard.

“You may tell the king I will be along shortly, however (Y/N) is still too weak to be moved. If he wants to see her he will have to come here.”

You gazed at her completely dumbfounded. Not only was she deifying her king’s orders but she was doing it for a girl she didn’t even know. You realized she reminded you a lot of someone. The guard bowed quickly at her response before exiting the room. The woman sighed before turning back to you.

“I am sorry I have to leave. I will return as quickly as possible. In the meantime Asta will take good care of you.”

She turned to leave but you caught her hand.

“Thank you.”

She held your hand back.

“No, Thank you, you brought my son back to me.”

 _Loki! That’s why she seemed so familiar._ She must have noticed your reaction, she gave a small smile.

“I don’t know what I would have done if anything were to happen to him. Thank you for saving him.”

You shook your head.

“I think he saved me more than I saved him.”

“Well, either way, I am glad you are both home safe.”

 _Home?_ With that she turned and exited the room. You were left staring at the door, wondering what she meant by home.


	13. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie, not a fan of Odin, so he may come off as a bit of a jerk. My apologizes to the fans of Odin.

You opened your eyes and looked around your room which was now empty. The curtains were open but no light shone through. _Must have fallen asleep._ You slowly sat up in your bed finally taking in your surroundings. The room was massive and the air was warm, unlike your cell. You sat in a large bed with silken sheets, there was a nightstand to the left of you, on it sat a pitcher and glass. Along the far side of the wall was a table and some chairs. Finally your eyes landed on a balcony which overlooked Asgard. You couldn’t resist. You pulled off the sheets carefully placing your feet on the ground. _Warm. Even the floor is warm._ You slowly rose to your feet, that’s when you noticed you were wearing different robes. They were softer, and more elaborate than your dungeon clothes and fit you perfectly. You forced your eyes off your beautiful robes and to the balcony again. You tip-toed your way across the floor hoping no one would sense you were awake. When you reached the balcony you almost fell over at the sight. Asgard was the most beautiful thing you had seen. A golden city that stretched to the stars. Speaking of stars the night sky was full of them, more stars than you had ever seen. You stood there awestruck taking in as much of the view as possible. _I died. I died and somehow cheated my way into heaven._

“It seems you are feeling better.”

You jumped at the sudden voice behind you. You whipped around catching the familiar sight of the women from before. You were so transfixed by the city you didn’t even hear her enter the room. She gave you a soft smile before moving to stand beside you.

“It is beautiful isn’t it?”

You turned again looking out at the city.

“It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

The woman giggled.

“I hear that is not a very hard bar to surpass by your standards, but I agree with you, this realm has no equal in terms of beauty.”

You blushed slightly at her words. It was true, you had really only seen the halls and dungeon of one building, and you had barely seen the sky at all, at this point anything could amaze you. Still the beauty of Asgard was one to behold.

“The king would like to see you, if you are well enough.”

You turned to find the women looking at you an emotion on her face you didn’t recognize. You slowly nodded to her. She gave you a reassuring smile before holding out her hand to you, you slowly took it, realizing how warm it was. You both turned to leave the room but a thought popped into your eyes.

“I’m sorry I never got your name. It never came up in conversation with Loki. May I ask?”

She gave a soft laugh before turning her gaze on you.

“My name is Frigga.”

You slightly bowed your head.

“That is a beautiful name.”

She smiled at your words and gave your hand a slight squeeze.

“Thank you.”

Frigga used her free hand to push open the door to your room. You peered out from behind her and noticed how well lit the hall was. Frigga walked out into the hall leading you down the corridor, you let her hand pull you as you took in everything around you. Golden columns and archways, beautiful statues, frescos, and colourful plants, nothing you had ever seen before.

Before you knew it you had come to a stop before two large doors. On either side was a guard in full armour. Frigga let go of your hand and turned to you.

“Keep your answers short. Just tell the truth, and do not be afraid. I’ll be right behind you the whole time.”

You felt your heart rate increase but you swiftly nodded your head. Frigga turned to the guards giving them a slight nod. The doors slowly opened revealing a large open room.

“Go ahead sweetie.”

Frigga gestured into the room and you slowly entered. This room felt different, colder. The ceiling looked as if it went on forever and the walls were painted with morals of glorious and horrific battles. You gulped but continued walking. A throne, which sat upon a raised platform, slowly calm into view. On the throne sat an older gentleman wearing golden armor and wielding a golden spear to match. _No way!_ You froze, halfway to the throne. _It can’t be._ On the throne sat the man from your memories, the one that Loki helped you remember, the one that called you a beauty. You stood there, frozen in your place, unable to move or to breathe.

“Come.”

His voice held the same commanding tone as before and chills ran down your spine. Your mind went blank, you didn’t know what to do until you felt a warm hand on your back.

“It’s okay sweetie, I’m right here.”

Frigga had followed right behind you and gave you a slight push forward. You regained your composure and continued to the throne. _How can he be the king? How could Loki not tell me?_ Countless thoughts filled your head till you found yourself standing at the base of his throne.

“I am Odin, All-Father, King of Asgard. And who might you be?”

You couldn’t meet his eye, instead, you looked down at your feet, which you just realized were bare.

“(Y/N).”

“You will look at me when I speak.”

You flinched slightly but forced yourself to look up, but still avoided making eye contact.

“Better. Now, what are you doing here in Asgard, (Y/N)?”

You glanced at Frigga who gave you a reassuring nod. You looked back towards Odin.

“I do not know. I was a prisoner in another realm, I passed out during an escape and woke up here.”

“So you are a criminal?”

“No.”

“Liar!”

You recoiled at his raised voice.

“Why would you be a prisoner if not a criminal?”

You didn’t know what to say at that point. You were a slave but that is not why you were in the dungeon, but if he knew of your powers you might be worse off.

“Speak!”

Odin rose to his feet pounding the spear he was holding on the ground. You panicked, falling to the ground and covering your head and closing your eyes, waiting for the blow to strike.

“Enough!”

Frigga stepped in front of you, blocking you from Odin.

“This is no time for you to interfere, Frigga.”

“And this is no time to lose your temper, husband.”

 _What?_ You opened your eyes and gazed up at Frigga. She glared at Odin but still somehow had a softness to her face.

“She is only a child, and she is the only reason we got Loki back safe. We should be thanking her not threatening her.”

“She is not one of us. For all we know she was sent here to destroy us. How do you know she will not bring our ruin?”

“I do not, but the day we pass judgement on an individual before they have done wrong, is the day we lose justice and ourselves. Please darling, see reason.”

Odin sighed before returning to sit on his throne.

“I do not disagree with you, my love, however I cannot allow her to stay here. She is too large a threat.”

Frigga sighed turning her gaze down to you. _No, I don’t want to leave._ You slowly stood up preparing to plead your case when another voice echoed through the halls.

“You are wrong father.”

All three of you turned towards the voice. A figure appeared from the shadows quickly crossing the hall to stand beside you. _Loki?_ You barely recognized him with his clean clothes and combed hair.

“She is no threat, she saved me numerous times, without knowledge of who I was or where I hailed from.”

“That does not change the facts, Loki. She has powers we have yet to understand, powers that could destroy Asgard.”

_Powers? So they do know about me._

“But she saved me! Which is more than I could say for you, father!”

 _Wait, what?_ You turned to Loki but your racing thoughts came to a halt as soon as you saw him. You had never seen Loki so angry, rather this emotional in general. His hands were in fists which shook at his sides, his words were like fire and his eyes were like daggers pointed directly at Odin.

“Loki.”

Frigga’s soft voice echoed in the room as she laid a hand on his shoulder. He instantly began to calm down, his hands fell to his sides and his eyes fell to the floor.

“Saving you wouldn’t have been necessary if you failed to get captured in the first place.”

You saw Loki tense at the words and were preparing for another bout of yelling but another voice filled the halls.

“Is that true father? Did you leave Loki to his own fate?”

Odin’s gaze shifted to behind you, you turned to lay eyes on the blonde boy from your memories. _No way._ He walked past you giving you a curious glance before turning his gaze back on his father. _Wait? Are they all one family?_ You tried to piece it all together in your head but couldn’t quite grasp it.

“Why didn’t you try to help him father?”

“This is beyond you Thor.”

“No, if we do not care for our own we are no better than our enemies.”

Thor was now standing beside Loki one hand on his shoulder, smiling at his brother. Loki gave a timid smile back. You began to feel a little out of place, but then Thor turned back to you.

“If she saved my brother, I believe she has a right to stay in Asgard.”

He gave you a big smile. _Clearly, he doesn’t remember me._ But you couldn’t help but give him a small smile in return.

“My dear I believe you have been out-voted.”

Frigga turned to face Odin a playful smile on her lips. _Definitely Loki’s mother._ Odin sighed.

“Very well. (Y/N).”

The three of them stepped aside slightly allowing you to step forward.

“I will allow you to remain in Asgard on one condition. You will train to control your power, so that one day you may be a defender of Asgard and repay your debts to your home.”

 _Home._ Your ears perked up at the word. You glanced at Frigga who was giving you a knowing smile. You then cast your gaze to Thor who had his arm slung around Loki’s shoulders. They both gave you small grins. You turn back to Odin, standing tall and looked him in the eye.

“I accept.”


	14. Heimdall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the time skip.

* * *

After your confrontation with Odin, you were quickly escorted out of the room by Frigga. Loki and Thor stayed behind, you assumed it wasn’t for a good reason.

“You did well.”

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of Frigga’s voice.

“I am proud of you. My husband can be a bit, rough, but you stood your ground well.”

You shook your head.

“I was only because I had you, Loki and Thor defending me.”

“That may have played a role, but in the end, you decided your own fate.”

You glanced up at her, she was looking down on you fondly, as you pictured your mother might have. The thought brought tears to your eyes, causing Frigga to kneel down and pull you into a hug.

“It’s okay sweetie, let it all out.”

You obliged, crying even harder into her robes. Frigga slowly rubbed your back whispering softly in your ear.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re safe here.”

After a few minutes, your tears began to subside. Frigga slowly pulled back, wiping away your remaining tears.

“Better?”

You sniffled but slowly nodded.

“A good cry always helps.”

You gave a small giggle at her words.

“What, it’s the truth, best kind of medicine there is.”

Her words made you smile as you began to focus on the life ahead of you and forget about what you left in your past. Frigga turned to lead you down a hallway you moved to follow but something stopped you in your tracks.

“Ma’am, how _did_ I get here?”

Frigga turned at your question.

“The Bifrost.”

Her answer was so matter-of-fact but you craned your neck in confusion.

“Bifrost?”

Frigga let out a gentle laugh before walking towards a window.

“The Bifrost.”

She gestured out the window to a building you hadn’t seen from your balcony. A small circular building lay just on the horizon surrounded by water. Leading to it was a single rainbow-colored bridge. You stood in awe.

“Heimdall, the guardian of the Bifrost saw you make your escape. He opened the Bifrost as soon as he could which in essence teleported you here.”

You turned to Frigga.

“He saw us?”

“He sees all, hears all. Best be careful what you say about Odin.”

Her playful smile appeared again making you laugh.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

You looked back out the window, processing everything you just learned.

“So Heimdall is the real reason I am here?”

“Yes, without him you and Loki would both still be trapped in that awful place.”

You turned quickly to Frigga, your mind made up.

“I want to thank him.”

A look of surprise appeared on her face but was quickly replaced with a soft smile.

“Of course.”

Frigga led you down many corridors before exiting the castle. She came to a stop in front of the stables.

“Do you know how to ride?”

Frigga stood in front of a horse stall. You shook your head.

“Very well.”

Frigga opened the stall, gently leading the horse out by its muzzle. She positioned herself at its side then skillfully mounted him in one jump. Once situated she held her hand down to you. You grasped her hand and she pulled you up onto the horse, seating you in front of her. 

“This is Alf, he is one of my closest friends.”

Frigga gently patted the horse’s neck. The horse whinnied in response.

“We have a need to see Heimdall, please.”

The horse seemed to nod in understanding before taking off down the street. The sudden burst of speed pushed you against Frigga who didn’t even budge. You grasped onto her robe for dear life as Alf broke into full speed down the rainbow bridge. Frigga seemed to notice your desperate grip and laughed.

“You’ll get used to it in time.”

You shook your head. _I don’t think I could ever get used to this._ Alf began to slow and you noticed the circular building come into view. It was far larger than you had anticipated. Alf came to a stop in front of a large opening in the building. There was no door.

“Okay, off we get.”

Frigga gracefully slid off the horse and held her arms up to you. You fell, far less gracefully, into her arms.

“I’ve been expecting you.”

An unknown powerful voice cut through the sound of crashing water that filled your ears.

You poked your head out past the horse and noticed a large man in slightly different golden armor standing in the entranceway.

“Well, I would be worried if you didn’t.”

Frigga and the man stared at each other for a moment before breaking into big smiles.

“It brings me joy to see you in person my lady.”

The man you assumed to be Heimdall turned to you. You tucked away slightly behind Alf.

“It also brings me joy that you are alright.”

Frigga noticed your hesitation and turned to you.

“This is Heimdall, the one who brought you here.”

You snapped out of your fear as you remembered why you were here. You moved out to face Heimdall and bowed.

“Thank you so much for saving me.”

“No, thank you for saving our prince.”

You snapped your head up, meeting Heimdall’s eyes which glowed a soft yellow.

“I didn’t do that much.”

“That is not what I saw. You jumped in front of a shot aimed at my prince. If not for you he would have died.”

Your eye’s widened in shock. _He really does see all._

“My only regret is I could not save you sooner.”

Frigga quickly reassured him.

“Heimdall even your power has its limits. You did all you could, if not for you I would have lost my son. Please allow that to be enough.”

Heimdall nodded slightly at Frigga’s words before turning back to you.

“You have amazing powers (Y/N), I see great things in your future.”

“You can see the future too?”

Heimdall gave a small laugh.

“No, but with a kind heart and powers like yours, you deserve all the good things Asgard has to offer. The worst is behind you little one. Focus on your bright future and forget your dark past.”

You slowly nodded at his words, fighting back the tears in your eyes.

“Besides, with a teacher like her, what could go wrong?”

Heimdall smirked at Frigga who slowly shook her head.

“Listening in on private conversations again?”

“Private? Half of Asgard heard your ‘discussion’ with the king.”

Frigga playfully hit Heimdall’s shoulder. You watched there exchange utterly confused. Frigga seemed to notice turning to you after laying one more hit on Heimdall's arm.

“I was waiting to tell you”, she threw a glare over her shoulder at Heimdall, “but Odin agreed that I would be the best teacher, to help you control your powers.”

“You’ll be teaching me?”

You gave her a once over. She was a nice lady, but what did she know about magic powers. She must have sensed your doubt because in a moment she raised her hand causing butterflies to take flight out of thin air. You stared at her in amazement. She simply smirked.

“Where do you think Loki learned all his tricks?”

You smiled at her response. _Like mother, like son._

“Maybe you should teach him a few less?”

Frigga turned back to Heimdall launching countless butterflies at his face. Heimdall tried to swat them away but fell to the floor laughing, which caused Frigga to break down laughing as well. You watched there exchange a smile appearing on your face. _I can get used to this._ You turned back to Asgard, the golden city glowed in the distance, the last of the butterflies mixed into the stars above. _Home._


	15. Training Session

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter after the time skip. 
> 
> You are now a young adult, interpret that as you may. These events take place in the years leading up to the first Thor movie. 
> 
> These chapters are more like fluff and are to show how your relationships have grown with everybody. 
> 
> I will probably have about 4-5 chapters before moving on to the Thor timeline. Some of these may be short so I may post 2-3 a day.
> 
> As always, enjoy.

“Calm your mind. Envision the fire inside you, feel it burn bright.”

Frigga’s soft voice echoed in your head. You focused on her words and calmed your mind. You concentrated on your power, envisioning a fire deep inside, starting as a spark but erupting into a huge flame. You felt heat in your hand and opened your eyes to see sparks slowly turn into flames in your hands.

“Well done, (Y/N).”

You glanced at Frigga who was smiling at you proudly. You both stood in the center of one of the castle's gardens. It had been your training area since you began your lessons with her. You turned your gaze to the flames in your hands, willing them to grow bigger. They obeyed covering your entire hand. You laughed in amazement. After years of training this was the most in control you had been of your power.

“Now let’s see if you can control them.”

You turned quickly to Frigga who was pointing at a pear tree about 100 meters away.

“Take out a single pear, but leave the tree unharmed.”

“You can’t be serious.”

She only smiled at you, before backing away slightly. You sighed, moving into a position directly in front of the tree. You closed your eyes and steadied your breathing, you extinguished the flames in your left hand. You opened your eyes, raising your right hand in front of you towards the tree. _I can do this._ You flicked your wrist sending a small fireball towards the tree. At least you thought it was small. The fireball struck sending the tree up in flames. You stood frozen staring at the tree in shock.

“Well it can’t be said you don’t have power.”

Frigga moved beside you tilting her head and examining the tree.

“But your control could use a little work.”

She turned to you a grin on her face.

“A little? She practically set the whole garden a flame. It seems she might need more practice.”

You both turned towards the voice. _Loki._ You quickly turned, bringing your flaming hand up towards his face.

“Shall I try it on you next then?”

Loki threw his hands up in surrender before smirking.

“I merely jest.”

You scoffed before lowering your hand and extinguishing the flames.

“I wouldn’t be so hard on her my son, or should I bring up the grape incident?”

Frigga was holding back a smile as she gave her son a look. You turned to her smiling.

“Oh I would love to hear that.”

“Well back when he was just a toddler-“

“No, no no no…No.”

Loki jumped between the two of you a slight blush on his cheeks. He turned towards his mother.

“You swore never to speak of that.”

Frigga turned away walking back towards the castle.

“I remember saying no such things.”

Loki sighed as he watched her walk away.

“So grapes, huh?”

You wore a playful smile as Loki turned to you exasperated.

“Please don’t.”

You giggled. He tried to look angry but to you, he always looked like a cute little kid, even though at this point he was taller than you. It had been a couple centuries since you made Asgard your home. You worked nearly every day with Frigga, training your powers. She also taught you how to handle swords and knives. And in your spare time, you grappled with other soldiers in training, learning hand-to-hand fighting techniques. In that time you and Loki had both grown into young adults. He had grown quite tall, rivaling the height of his older brother Thor, making you seem like a dwarf in comparison. _Stupid gods and their ridiculous height._

“(Y/N), Hello?”

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Loki’s hand waving in front of your face and voice calling your name.

“Huh? What?”

Loki just pointed behind you.

“You should probably fix that, least we have another great hall incident.”

You turned realizing your flames had quickly overtaken the tree and were threatening to spread to others.

“Shit!”

You quickly ran grabbing the buckets of water you kept close for just this reason. You flung water at the tree but it did little. You turned to Loki agitated.

“A little help?!”

Loki smirked before flicking his wrists. Four buckets of water floated into the air above the tree before turning upside down soaking the tree, and you as well. You were drenched, your hair covered your face making you look like some sort of demon. You heard Loki laughing in the distance and chucked the empty bucket you were holding in his direction.

“Not funny Loki!”

You moved your hair off your face, pulling it up into a messy bun. You glared at Loki. Realizing your bucket fell short of its mark, resting about 10 meters from Loki’s feet.

“Was that really necessary?”

You sighed before slowly making your way over to him.

“Necessary? No. Hilarious? Absolutely.”

“You do realize I’ll be getting you back for that.”

You stopped in front of him, looking him dead in the eye. He didn’t look away.

“Oh, you can try, but you never will.”

You smirked before flicking your right leg back. You caught the fallen bucket on your foot than in one swift motion launched it forward in a powerful kick. The bucket was on target but Loki faded away just before it made contact. _A double?_

“Told you.”

Loki’s voice was right in your ear, sending chills down our spine. You spun around ready to make contact with your fist to his face but he caught your hand, smirking. You groaned before pulling away from him.

“Aww come on, don’t be like that.”

You hated how he could always best you in a fight. No matter how hard you trained he always had a one up on you.

“I come bearing gifts.”

And yet, you turned to Loki who was holding out a drying cloth for you. Your frown broke as you gave a soft laugh. _I can never stay mad at him._ You grabbed the cloth away from him a little too forcefully before sitting down on the grass and wringing out your hair. Loki took a seat tentatively beside you.

“You know I was only joking right.”

He turned to look at you, sincerity in his eyes.

“You really have come a long way.”

You sighed.

“I know.”

You turned to look at him.

“You know one of these days one of your jokes will go too far.”

Loki looked offended, raising a hand to his chest.

“Not possible.”

You grinned, rolling your eyes.

“Sure…”

“If I haven’t driven you mad yet, I fear I never will.”

He grinned at you, and you playfully hit his shoulder.

“Never say never.”


	16. Lunch with Heimdall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Loki in this chapter...technically.
> 
> Just you and heimdall.

You walked carefully along the rainbow bridge making sure to stay far from the edges. You found the sound of the rushing water soothing, but the thought of falling into the water sent chills down your spine. You don’t know why but you always hated water. You don’t know if that had to do with your fire powers or maybe just a trauma you buried in the dark recesses of your mind, either way, you made sure to stay far away from any large body of water. _Why does this bridge have to be so gosh darn long?_ You begrudgingly picked up your pace, shifting the basket you were carrying in one hand to the other. _I’m definitely going to be late._ You finally could make out the entrance of the Bifrost catching the sight of a familiar-looking figure in the entryway.

“Heimdall!”

You broke into a jog, waving at him as you grew closer.

“You’re late.”

You came to a stop in front of him, your hand falling to your side.

“Am I really? I mean you could see me coming so you knew exactly when to meet me here. So if anything you’re early.”

You both stood staring at each other for a few moments before he broke into a grin and you began to laugh. Heimdall gestured with his arm and you followed him into the building.

“You hang around Loki too much, his sharp tongue is rubbing off on you.”

You gave a small laugh.

“Is it really that bad?”

Heimdall turned to you, eyebrow raised. _Guess it is._

“Sorry I’ll try to control myself in the future.”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind if you gave _him_ a taste of his own medicine.”

Heimdall’s ‘innocent’ suggestion made you laugh. Although he may have a serious face, he always had room to joke with you. Ever since you came to Asgard, Heimdall became like a father to you. He taught you the traditions and history of Asgard, he even gave you private sword fighting lessons. Whenever you weren’t with Frigga or Loki, you could be found with Heimdall.

“So what do we have today?”

Heimdall turned to you as he returned to his post. You took a seat on one of the steps leading up to the Bifrost sword. You placed the basket down pulling out some bread and cheese.

“Very nice. Maybe we should just eat them instead.”

You made a pouting face and Heimdall softly chuckled.

“Very well. Make the preparations.”

Your face lit up as you hurriedly stood up. Grabbing the cloth from the basket and placing it on the floor.

“Now, I would like to actually eat something today. Think we can make that happen?”

You smiled sheepishly before pulling a knife out of the basket.

“Ah, maybe.”

“Confidence is key.”

You inhaled sharply, straightening your posture.

“Yes.”

“Better.”

Heimdall grabbed a loaf of bread, breaking it in half.

“Concentrate, too much power it will burn, not enough the knife will get stuck.”

You nodded. Closing your eyes you focused on the hand holding the knife. You felt heat in your hand and focused it into the knife. You hard a soft cracking and opened your eyes. The knife was aflame. You focused on the flames keeping them just strong enough to cover the blade, nothing more. You looked up at Heimdall, before nodding.

“Very well.”

Heimdall threw the bread in the air over the cloth you laid out on the floor. _Gotcha_! You sliced the knife through the air, coming in contact with the bread. The knife cut cleanly through, causing two pieces of bread to fall to the floor.

“Your aim has improved. However…”

Heimdall looked to the floor and your gaze followed his. _Shit!_ The pieces of bread were on fire and slowly turning black. You quickly stomped on what remained of the slices putting out the flames.

“In a battle to much power is not always a bad thing. However, if you do not learn to control your output, you will tire too quickly and be easy prey for your opponents.”

He’s right. If you couldn’t learn to control your flames you could end up doing more harm than good in battle. You looked up to him meeting his stern gaze.

“Again.”

“Very well.”

Heimdall threw the other half of the loaf in the air. You watched it fall in almost slow motion. _Less power this time._ You released some power from the blade just before making contact with the bread. The bread hit the floor before splitting in two. You looked down, the edges were crisp but the rest of the loaf was unharmed. You let out an excited gasp before looking up to Heimdall. He laid a hand on your shoulder.

“Well done.”

You couldn’t stop smiling.

“Looks like we actually get to eat today.”

Heimdall reached down picking up the two pieces of bread.

“Well, technically, we could eat the other pieces, there is nothing really wrong with them.”

Heimdall turned to you crossing his arms. You dropped your gaze to the burnt bread on the floor laughing sheepishly. _Maybe you were spending too much time with Loki._


	17. Nidavellir pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of a...3?...part mini-story.

You lay in the garden soaking in the sun. It was one of the first days off you had in weeks. _Finally a chance to relax._ You felt the warm sun on your skin. The smell of the blooming trees carried in on each breeze. _This is heaven._

“Because I don’t want to brother.”

_And there goes my peace and quiet._

“But it would be so much fun brother.”

“You and I have very different definitions of the word ‘fun’.”

You sighed, slowly opening your eyes you gazed around the garden, finally catching the two culprits that destroyed your peace and quiet. Loki sat under a tree in the far side of the garden, a book in his hand. Thor was swinging in the tree above him.

“But how would you know it would not be fun if you have never gone before.”

“I just know.”

Loki looked increasingly annoyed. Fearing the worst you decided to step in on their little spat. You got up from your perfect resting place and moseyed over to join them.

“What could be so fun that you had to interrupt my day off?”

Loki finally glanced up from his book, but he still had a look of annoyance on his face. Thor, on the other hand, couldn’t have looked happier. He jumped down from the tree and strolled over to you.

“(Y/N)! I was just telling Loki of a fight happening on Nidavellir. Apparently it will be a sporting match and Asgardians were welcome to watch. I suggested we go and see the match, maybe we will have a chance to take part. However, Loki seems to think it be a waste of time.”

Loki closed his book, but kept his eyes to the ground.

“The Dwarfs are craftsman not fighters, what purpose could there be to watch weaklings roll around in the mud.”

“I wouldn’t say they are weak. I mean they did forge some of the strongest weapons of Asgard.”

You had to admit, you were rather intrigued by Thor’s proposition. You had heard of Nidavellir but had never had the chance to visit it. This could be a fun event for your day off. Thor wrapped an arm around your neck, nearly strangling you in the process.

“See brother, (Y/N) understands.”

Loki glared up at the two of you.

“Then she is dumber than I thought.”

That was the last straw, anger welled up inside you causing your body temperature to rise.

“Hot! Hot! Hot!”

Thor ripped his arm away from you fanning it with his other hand. Your hand erupted into flames.

“We could just have a fighting match here to see who’s stronger.”

Loki’s calm exterior faltered for a second, but he slowly stood up, regaining his composure. He flicked his hand and a knife appeared in it out of thin air. He held it out to you.

“You know I would win.”

“And you know I would go down fighting, do you really want to risk third-degree burns to your handsome face.”

You said that as mockingly as possible but a small blush still found its way to your cheeks. Loki stared you down for a moment before letting out a sigh. He dropped the knife and it disappeared before hitting the grass.

“Fine. Have it your way.”

You lowered your hand and the flames disappeared.

“Excellent!”

Thor threw his arms around you and Loki, pulling you into an almost hug. Loki gave you a death glare which signaled that he blamed this all on you. You couldn’t help but smirk.

“To Nidavellir then.”

Thor released his hold on the both of you before charging off towards the Bifrost. Loki adjusted his cloak before turning to you.

“I am not taking responsibility for anything that oaf does on Nidavellir.”

You turned to Loki fixing your hair up into a high ponytail.

“Come on, we’re just having some fun.”

You gave him a smile before following Thor.

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about.”


	18. Nidavellir pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY T^T 
> 
> I never got a chance to post yesterday as I was busy with a project for work. I will try to make it up to you today by finishing the chapters leading up to Thor. 
> 
> Again I apologize, please forgive me T.T

You lost sight of Thor as you exited the garden. _Damn, he was fast._ You started off in the direction of the Bifrost, hoping he would at least wait for you and Loki before heading to Nidavellir. You heard the pounding of hooves behind you and stepped off the main path, allowing the rider to pass. As the horse came closer you heard it slow then saw it come to a stop just ahead of you. You glanced up and noticed the rider was Loki. He glanced down at you, a look of indifference on his face, before holding out a hand to you.

“If we do not hurry that idiot will leave without us.”

“I thought you didn’t want to go.”

You raised an eyebrow to him.

“I would like to keep peaceful relations with the Dwarfs, that won’t happen if that oaf goes there alone.”

You smirked before taking his hand. He pulled you up on the horse and you took a seat directly behind him.

“Guess you have a point.”

Loki snapped the reins and the horse took off. The sudden surge of speed sent you backward, you quickly held on to Loki for balance. He didn’t seem to notice or care but you couldn’t help but blush. _Calm down its just Loki._ The path opened in front of you and you could see that Thor was already halfway down the rainbow bridge. Loki scoffed before snapping the reins again. The horse jumped on the rainbow bridge and took off in a full gallop. You saw the water rushing by out of the corner of your vision and absentmindedly wrapped your arms around Loki’s waist. You felt Loki tense slightly but you were too busy controlling your fear to think about it. _Slow down. Slow down. Slow down._ You recited the words like a prayer in your head as your grip around Loki became tighter. He seemed to take notice as the horse began to slow to a trot.

“Sorry. I forgot you were never great around horses.”

Loki’s voice sounded heavy like he was out of breath. You realized how tight your grip had gotten and loosened it.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

Loki kept his gaze intently on the bridge in front of him, but you noticed his neck and ears were slightly red. Nothing compared to the blush you realized was covering your face. You held on to the edges of his cloak for the rest of the ride, keeping your gaze down, trying to relax.

“Took you long enough brother.”

The horse came to a stop and you realized you were at the entrance of the Bifrost. Loki hopped down skillfully from the horse leaving you to hold on awkwardly to the saddle.

“Ah and you brought (Y/N). Oh (Y/N), you don’t look too good. Are you alright?”

 _Clearly not!_ You wanted to bash both his and Loki’s heads in for being so stupid. Nidavellir wasn’t going anywhere, there was no need to rush. You were snapped out of your thoughts by a familiar cold hand. Loki had grabbed your hand giving you a quick tug. You fell ungracefully into his arms.

“Nice catch brother.”

You met Loki’s gaze but you both instantly turned away. Loki half dropped half placed you on the ground. You quickly catch your footing, standing up to glare at Loki.

“Next time we walk.”

Loki smirks back at you. He opens his mouth to say some witty remark but is cut off by Thor throwing his arms around him.

“Let us be off, there is no time to waste.”

Thor pulls Loki forcefully into the Bifrost building, you couldn’t help but let out a laugh as you followed them inside.

“Took you all long enough.”

 _Sif?_ You peeked your head out from behind Thor and Loki and noticed 4 more bodies standing in the Bifrost. Lady Sif and the warriors three were standing at the portal's entrance.

“Thought we would have to leave without you. I see you got Loki to come along. Did you drag him the whole way here?”

Sif sauntered up to Thor giving Loki a quick glance before turning to you.

“Ah, that explains it.”

You gave her a questioning look. She simply smiled at you.

“I’m glad you decided to join us on this venture. There was far too much testosterone for just me to handle.”

You grinned at her remark.

“Oh come on Sif, you know you could take these five on without even breaking a sweat.”

“Is that a challenge?”

Thor tossed Loki to the side, taking on a fighting stance. Loki caught his footing just before colliding with you. Sif let out a small laugh before readying her sword.

“Bring it on Odinson.”

Loki let out a sigh.

“Children.”

The word was barely loud enough for you to hear but it made you laugh none the less. Loki turned to you a shocked expression on his face. _Apparently he didn’t mean for you to hear that._ You tried to stifle your laughter, but his shocked face made you laugh even more. The clang of metal finally brought you out of your laughing fit. You turned to see Sif and Thor in the heat of battle. In the background, Fandral and Volstagg seemed to be discussing something whereas Hogun had his gaze fixed directly behind you. _Oh no._

“Enough.”

Heimdall’s booming voice echoed throughout the Bifrost making you flinch. Sif and Thor stopped their battle mid-punch and you caught Fandral begrudgingly hand over something to Volstagg. You turned your gaze around meeting Heimdall’s. _We’re in trouble._

“Fighting, in the Bifrost, I would expect more from a Prince.”

You caught Loki smirk out of the corner of your eye. _No way he planned this!_

“I leave to check on a security breach only to return to a nearly destroyed Bifrost. Explain yourselves!”

You chance a glance behind you. Sif and the warriors three were kneeling, Thor was meeting Heimdall’s gaze but did not make a sound. You turned to Heimdall intending to explain the situation but was cut off from a voice beside you.

“My apologies Heimdall, we all gathered here in search of you, intending to travel to Nidavellir. A misplaced comment caused some tension between lady Sif and Thor. However, with your arrival, I believe they have worked their differences out.”

Loki gave a quick look to Thor who lowered his head. Heimdall turned his gaze on you.

“(Y/N), is this truly what happened?”

You caught Loki’s gaze. He gave you a swift nod. You looked at Heimdall.

“More or less.”

Heimdall gave you a questioning look before turning to Thor.

“Why do you wish to venture to Nidavellir?”

“There is to be a great match of strength and skill there this evening that we wish to witness.”

“I know of no such match.”

Thor’s face fell. Sif and the warriors cast gazes between each other. Loki did not seem surprised, just annoyed.

“Do not tell me you dragged me out here for nothing brother.”

Thor turned his gaze on all of us.

“No, there is to be a match, I swear it.”

You couldn’t stand his puppy dog eyes.

“Thor, maybe you got the day wrong. It's fine we can just go some other time.”

“No. It is today. I know it.”

You looked to Heimdall, silently pleading to him. He gave in, sighing.

“Very well, I will send you to Nidavellir, if only for you to see there is no fighting happening.”

Thor’s face lit up instantly as did the warriors three. You glanced at Loki who had his face in his hands. You smirked. _Didn’t go quite as according to plan did it?_ Thor and Sif moved to join the other three at the entrance to the portal. You quickly grabbed Loki’s arm yanking him in that direction.

“You’re stuck with us now,” you lowered your voice for only him to hear, "best luck on your next scheme."

Loki gave you a slight glare before grumbled something under his breath. Nevertheless, he followed you to the portal entrance. Heimdall made is way up the stairs to his sword.

“I will allow you to explore Nidavellir for an hour, then you will see there is no fight.”

Heimdall twisted the sword activating the Bifrost. A bright light exploded in front of you and you felt the eerily familiar sensation of your body floating. A moment later your feet landed on the floor, hard. You smelt and even more eerily familiar smell. _Somethings not right._ Your eyes slowly adjusted to the light around you. You nearly vomited when you registered what you were seeing. _Bodies. Burnt Bodies._


	19. Nidavellir pt 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter turned out a lot longer than I thought.

You instantly glanced down at your hands. _It’s not me._ You saw your hands shaking but no flames were present. _I didn't do this._ You felt a cold hand on you back. You swiftly turned, catching the gaze of a worried Loki.

“It wasn’t me.”

Your voice came out shaky. You don’t know if you were trying to convince him or you.

“I know.”

His voice was calm as he swiftly gestured to your right. You followed his gaze barely making out the forms through the smoke. Huge rock-like creatures flooded the area.

“Rock trolls? I thought they were banished from this realm.”

“Evidently not.”

Loki’s expression turned serious. But something tugged at the back of your mind. You turned to him, matching his serious look.

“Tell me this wasn’t you.”

His eyes widened in shock.

“You honestly think I would want to come here?”

“Well, it would be a good way to incapacitate Thor.”

“Ah yes I would risk both our lives just for the satisfaction of besting Thor.”

Loki glared at you but you cocked your head in confusion.

“I honestly can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.”

Loki huffed in anger.

“I may have been responsible for the circumstance with Heimdall, but I never intended to actually be sent to Nidavellir.”

He paused, his gaze shifting to the rubble and bodies.

“And I would never hurt those who are innocent.”

He turned away from you, his eyes dropping to the floor like a scolded child. You felt the sting of guiltiness wash over you. True you knew he had something to do with this whole set up. But you also knew him better than to assume he could be behind this massacre. You reached out to him slightly pulling on his cloak.

“Sorry, this is all just messed up.”

Loki turned to you staring into your eyes before sighing. His expression softened.

“I know, I never meant for it to go this far. We have to get out of here.”

You nodded before scanning your surroundings. You were both in a large stone hall which stretched out as far as you could see in both directions.

“Where are the others?”

You both turned as you heard a familiar yell than a loud thump. Rubble launched towards you and you quickly threw yourself in front of Loki taking as much of the damage as possible. You felt multiple stings as rocks shredded through your clothes. _I knew I should have worn armor._ The dust began to settle and you could make out multiple figures in front of you. Thor was standing on top of a rock troll as Sif was battling back two directly behind him. You figured the warriors were not far behind. You felt a cold touch on your face and winced. You turned your gaze slightly and noticed that Loki was inspecting a small gash on your cheek. He slowly pulled away quickly examining the rest of your body which was riddled with small cuts and gashes. Nothing you couldn’t handle.

“I’m fine. Just a scratch.”

“Thank you.”

You locked onto his gaze which was sincere. You almost broke into a smile.

“How do we keep falling into these situations?”

Loki broke into a grin.

“Centuries of friendship and I still can’t come to any logical conclusion.”

You smiled at his response before turning towards Thor and the others.

“You come prepared?”

“Always.”

Loki flicked his wrists and a knife appeared in each hand. You pulled the spare knife out from inside your boot. _At least I’ve got this._ You channeled your energy igniting the blade, before taking off to join the others. Loki followed closely behind.

“You know, I doubt knives will have much effect on stone.”

You glanced back at him.

“We just need to get close enough for Heimdall to get us all back safely.”

“You try to convince Thor of that plan.”

He had a point, once Thor got riled up it was hard to calm him down, especially with the others urging him on.

“We’ll figure that out later.”

You turned your gaze back to the front but was instantly met with the sight of a rock troll barreling your way. _Gods, I hope this works._ You channeled more power into your blade, flames stretched out to the length of a sword. You quickly brought your arm up to block the blow of the oncoming rock troll. His fist met your blade. A loud crack sounded through the cave as rocks fell to your feet. The rock troll staggered backward and you took the opportunity to slash his torso. Your blade made a slice halfway through the rock but got stuck. _Shit._ You tried to add more flame but it was too late, the troll brought his other arm down swinging which caught you on the left side of your ribcage. The impact sent you flying into the wall on your right knocking the breath out of you. You lay on the floor gasping for air as you see the troll make his way towards you. _Shit!_ You tried to channel your power but realized your hand was empty. You glanced around but couldn’t find your knife anywhere. _SHIT!_ The troll was practically on top of you, you could hear Loki calling your name but the troll blocked your entire vision. It grabbed a boulder from beside you and lifted it over its head. _Not like this!_ You felt a surge of energy pulse through you. You raised your hands in front of your face and released a stream of flames at the troll. You heard many distinct cracks. As your flames began to subside you could make out the remains of the troll falling into a pile of rocks at your feet. Your hands fell to your sides and you sharply inhaled trying to regain your breath.

“(Y/N)! Are you alright?”

You glanced up and caught Loki’s figure in the distance. You gave a soft nod and slowly began to rise to your feet. Your vision began to blur and you stumbled back to the ground. _Used too much._ You shook your head trying to get your vision back. _Come on._ You gazed back up as your vision began to clear. You noticed Loki had been cornered by two trolls. Each posed to attack. You tried to pull yourself up but fell to the floor again. Your gaze met Loki’s as two fists made contact.

“No!”

The trolls turned their attention to you. You stumbled back, hitting the wall behind you, tears pricked the corner of your eyes. The trolls moved closer and your hands began to shake. _This can’t be happening._ Just as the trolls raised their arms to attack they crumbled to the floor. Loki’s figure emerged from behind them.

“Guess knives are more effective than I thought.”

You stared at him in shock. He crept over the remains of the trolls and held your hand out to you. You grasped it absentmindedly and he pulled you up.

“I thought you would know better by now.”

He gave you a slight smirk. It finally clicked in your head.

“An illusion?!”

You snapped and punched his shoulder. He winced slowly rubbing the spot.

“I was worried!”

Loki brought his hand to his chest.

“Awww, I’m touched.”

That only made you hit him again and harder.

“Ow! You know normal people bruise.”

You scoffed as you walked past him.

“Come on we still need to get to the others.”

Loki fell in step beside you.

“We could just leave them here.”

You gave him an irritated look. He sighed.

“Rescue plan it is.”

You came to the end of the hall and caught sight of Thor on the other side of a large open area. You were about to make a break for him but Loki pulled you against the wall, clamping a hand over your mouth. You caught his eyes and he shook his head then slowly nodded up. You glanced upwards noticing numerous trolls on a ledge that hung over the entrance you almost dashed through. Loki slowly released his hand from your mouth. You dropped your voice to a whisper.

“We can’t just leave them there.”

“Technically.”

You turned to give him a look but noticed he was scanning the area. You could see him calculating the possibilities. He turned to you quickly.

“Can you use your power again?”

You dropped your gaze. _Could I?_ Your vision was back to normal but you felt exhausted. You have never used that much power all at once, using it again would probably cause you to faint. You looked back up to him slowly nodding. He gazed at you for a moment before turning to the opening.

“Wait for them to all attack then fire.”

He began to walk through the entrance. You quickly moved to grab his cloak but your hand past through the fabric. You smirked. _A double._ Loki’s double walked out into the large arena, instantly the rock trolls jumped on him from above. Other rock trolls in the vicinity took notice, running towards the ruckus. Loki’s double turned to them before getting hit by the falling rock trolls. The double quickly vanished in a green light, the trolls looked around confused.

“Over here.”

Another double appeared to their left. They ran at him in unison, more gathering in the bunch. The lead troll brought his arm down on the double, which disappeared again.

“You trolls really are brainless.”

This time the double was behind them. They all turned again, charging at the double. A few trolls also charged from behind the double. One troll moved to grab him but once again the double vanished.

“No wonder you are a weaker race.”

This double was directly in front of you. The trolls all stampeded towards you. You held your hands up, feeling the energy fill your hands. _Wait for it._ All the trolls banded together forming a large group. _Wait for it._ They nearly were at the entrance. _Wait for it._ The first troll reached out to pummel the double. _Now._ You released your power and an explosion of flames stretched out covering the entire entrance and beyond. Your vision started to blur and you became light-headed. The flames started to dwindle and you began to fall backward. You were caught by a familiar cold grip. Loki held you up by your shoulders, your head slumped against his chest. You took deep ragged breaths, trying to remain conscious.

“Di-Did I get- em?”

“Yeah”

Loki’s breath tickled your ear. In any other circumstance you know you would be blushing, but you were focused on other things at the moment.

“Good.”

Your head began to pound. You closed your eyes but you remained conscious. You tried to focus on moving, but your body wouldn’t respond to any commands. You heard a soft sigh, then felt your body being raised off the ground. You felt Loki’s arm under your legs and behind your back. _Was he carrying me?_ You felt movement and realized you were moving forward. You gave up on trying to figure out what was happening and laid your head against the softness that was Loki’s chest.

“I see we have (Y/N) to thank for the save.”

“Oh come on Sif, I totally had those trolls on the ropes.”

“You broke your sword on the first troll Fandral, what were you going to do, talk the trolls to death.”

“As a matter of fact, I was planning on charming them.”

You heard Sif sigh loudly.

“Is she alright brother?”

“She will be alright after some rest.”

You felt Loki place you down on the ground, he stayed kneeling beside you, holding you up.

“We need to get out of here.”

“Not without besting the rest of these trolls. Come, brother, we will finish the off toget-“

You assumed Loki shot Thor a death glare.

“(Y/N) needs to get back to Asgard Thor, we can return with more forces to wipe these trolls out.”

 _Hogun's voice of reason._ You could hear Thor sigh.

“Very well. Heimdall.”

You held your breath waiting for the portal to open. But nothing happened. You felt Loki tense.

“He said he would give us an hour.”

_Oh no._

“So?”

Sif sounded irritated.

“If he knew we were in trouble he would have teleported us out ages ago.”

No one must have caught on because Loki sighed before continuing.

“For some reason, he can’t see us. Meaning he has no reason to open a portal until that hour is up.”

“How long do we have left?”

“Fifteen minutes. Give or take.”

You felt all there gazes drop to you. You slowly opened your eyes. Your headache which was beginning to fade came back at full force as the light of the arena flooded your vision. You winced. Volstagg adjusted the grip on his ax.

“Very well, we can survive another few minutes.”

As if on cue, thumping began to echo around the arena. You slowly began to sit up, Loki helping you adjust your weight.

“That does not sound good.”

Everyone save for Loki, turned their gaze around the arena entrances, Loki kept his eyes on you.

“I’m fine.”

Loki smirked.

“Clearly.”

The thumping grew louder as countless trolls entered the arena. You turned your gaze up, your eyes adjusting to the sight of trolls advancing in a circle around the seven of you.

“This is not good.”

The warriors took up positions in a semi-circle around you and Loki. Sif stood behind you, sword at the ready. Thor stood beside you a boulder in each hand.

“How can you tell?”

Your head snapped around to catch his gaze. You couldn’t control the anger in your voice.

“You see how they have surrounded us, we have like 25 trolls trying to kill us! In what realm would this be good!?”

Thor flinched slightly at your raised voice. Loki’s gaze turned to the trolls.

“Actually, it’s more like 34 trolls.”

His voice was matter-of-fact, but you practically hear the smirk that was plastered on his face. You glared at him.

“I’m sorry, was I not specific enough for you.”

You could feel his laugh against you.

“How can you laugh at a time like this?”

Loki turned to you a grin on his face.

“Dwarfs don’t take kindly to invaders.”

As if on cue giant metal balls fell from above crushing the rock trolls underneath. You all looked up catching the sight of several giant dwarfs hurling cannonballs into the arena. They took out the trolls five at a time. In a few moments, the arena was empty save for you all. You felt Loki stand beside you. You looked up noticing one of the Dwarfs was making his way down to you.

“Thank you Odinson, for informing us of this intrusion.”

Loki bowed gracefully before raising his head.

“I was merely following my duty. I am only sorry we did not arrive sooner.”

“We may have lost fellow Dwarves today, but the number would surely have been larger without your intervention.”

“I only ask you to remember this incident if Asgard is in need in the future.”

“Very well Odinson.”

The Dwarf turned and exited the arena. Everyone turned swiftly to face Loki. He raised his arms in defeat.

“Would you rather I not have told them?”

Thor clapped a hand on Loki's back.

“That was quick thinking brother, although I wouldn’t have mind bashing a few more trolls. What was your final number Sif?”

“13. And you?”

“10. However I had to resort to bare hands, which means they should count for two.”

Sif and Thor begin to bicker about their competition in the background, as Loki made his way back to you.

“When did you even send the message to them?”

“As soon as we arrived.”

“Why does that not surprise me.”

You gave him a small smirk and he responded in kind. Thor and Sif’s argument grew louder causing the headache to creep back into your head.

“Well, I took out at least 30 so you can both shut it!”

They both turned to you probably to argue but were cut off by a bright light dropping down from above. _Finally._ Loki dropped to ground throwing an arm around you. You grasped onto his cloak as you were transported back to Asgard.


	20. Illusions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter than I will begin the MCU timeline. So excited :)

You don’t remember much after arriving back on Asgard. You vaguely remember seeing a fuming Odin, and a disappointed Frigga. You remember bits and pieces of a yelling match between Thor and Odin, but aside from that everything else was blank until waking up in your bed this morning. A guard had informed you that you were asleep for 2 days and that Frigga wanted to see you in the garden. That’s where you were heading now. Thoughts rushed through your head, you worried you would be exiled, that you did something wrong. You bit your lip and clasped your hands in front of you to stop them from shaking. You paused as the garden entered your view. Frigga was kneeling towards the border of the garden, planting some flowers. You froze, unable to move further.

“How long are you going to stand in the shadows, sweetie?”

You flinched. _Of course she knew you were there._ You took a deep breath before walking over to her. She didn’t look up from her gardening.

“I’m sorry if I did anything wrong, I didn’t know what was going to happen, if I had known better I wouldn’t have done it, please don’t exile me-“

You stopped your rambling as Frigga turned to look at you. Her expression was soft, and a calmness washed over you. She slowly stood, wiping tears that you didn’t even realize were falling down your face.

“You did nothing wrong sweetie. I’m not going to punish you, or exile you for that matter.”

A wave of relief washes over you and you begin sobbing. Frigga holds you in her arms until you catch your breath and begin to calm down. You slowly pull away, wiping away your tears as Frigga pulls you over to a nearby bench. You both take a seat.

“Loki told me what you did, I was amazed you took out all those rock trolls.”

“It was all thanks to him.”

“He may have planned it, but it was your powers that ultimately stopped them.”

You felt a sense of pride fill you up, but it quickly vanished.

“But I still can’t control them. If anyone would have gotten in the way…”

Frigga took your hand and lifted your chin to meet your gaze.

“That’s why I’m here. We will learn how to control your powers together. I promise.”

You slowly nodded pulling your gaze back to the ground to stop you from crying again.

“But right now you need more rest, which is why I have something else planned for today.”

There was a playfulness in her voice that made you look up. She was wearing a grin on her face. You couldn’t tell what she was so excited about. She slowly turned to the direction of a big tree.

“If you are done eavesdropping my son, will you please come out?”

A figure moved out from behind the trees, you instantly recognized the green cloak.

“Loki! How long have you been there!?”

“Since about, the first bout of crying.”

You wanted to slap his grin off his face, Frigga seemed to sense your anger as she slowly grabbed your balled-up fist.

“In time sweetie.”

She gave your hand a slight pat before getting up and striding over to Loki.

“Today (Y/N) will be sitting in on your training.”

Loki’s face dropped as he turned towards his mother.

“You cannot be serious.”

“Oh, I am.”

You felt a smile stretch across your face as Loki looked more and more uncomfortable. The two of them had a stare-off. Loki broke away first, sighing.

“Fine.”

“Good.”

Frigga turned away waking back to you.

“This will be a lesson for both of you. Think of it as teamwork enhancement.”

Loki crossed his arms his eyes fixed on you. You gave him a smirk before standing up to meet Frigga.

“Loki told me you can’t tell him from his illusions.”

You gave her a quick nod.

“Then I’ll have to teach you.”

“How is this going to help me?”

Loki took a step closer, a hint of anger in his voice, but froze when Frigga turned back to him a hand raised.

“This will give you a chance to practice your illusions durability.”

You both turned to Frigga, then each other, eyebrows raised. You were the first to speak.

“I don’t understand my lady.”

Frigga nodded to Loki, who sighed before creating 3 perfect illusions. Frigga turned to you.

“Try and figure out which one is the real Loki.”

“How?”

“Loki’s illusions may seem perfect, but they aren’t.”

You heard a groan from one of the Loki’s.

“They cannot withstand too much force.”

You gave her a look of confusion. She sighed softly before placing a hand on her shoulder.

“I want you to go over there and hit the illusions with enough force to make them disappear.”

She turned to the Loki’s.

“And I want you to try and keep up the illusions for as long as possible.”

She looked between the two of you.

“Any questions?”

You slowly raised your hand.

“How do I know which ones are the illusions? They all look the same.”

“True, Loki has nearly mastered the art. They may all look identical, but they feel very different.”

You gave her a nod before walking over to the multiple Loki’s. You paused, turning back to Frigga.

“How much force exactly?”

“Usually a good punch or slap will do.”

You turned back to Loki a huge grin on your face. All the illusions shared the same look of discomfort. You slowly walked by each illusion, trying to identify the real Loki. Each of them looked exactly like the Loki you knew. _How the hell do I tell them apart?_ You paced back and forth looking over his clothing, his hair, his face, but each one looked the same.

“You’ll never figure it out.”

All the Loki’s mocked you in the same tone. You stared each one down.

“Don’t underestimate me Loki.”

You went over them again, this time looking into their eyes. You got to the third Loki and paused. This one was different. When you looked into his eyes you felt emotion, fear, pride, unease and something else you couldn’t quite place. You took a step closer and felt the familiar cool air. _Found you._ You suppressed a smirk and continued on to the next Loki. You paused in front of him for a bit then turned back. But before you cleared range you swiftly turned, landing a solid punch in his stomach. The illusion doubled over slightly but quickly vanished. You smiled.

“1 down, 3 to go.”

“Don’t get overconfident.”

You turned to the first illusion who just spoke. _Guess your next._ You practically strut past the other 2 Loki’s and stepped in front of the first one.

“It’s not overconfidence if you’re right.”

You raised your hand swiftly. A loud smack echoed through the garden as your open palm made contact with his face. The illusion dissolved slightly but quickly regained its solidity.

“Very good Loki.”

All the illusions practically beamed with pride at Frigga’s words. You suppressed a smile. _Mama’s boy._

“It seems like you are getting the hang of this as well. Good job (Y/N).”

You couldn’t suppress the smile now. You turned to her giving a swift nod, before turning back to the first Loki and finishing the job by round housing him in the ribcage. The illusion swiftly vanished.

“This is not fair, in a real fight I would be moving.”

Both Loki’s crossed their arms. Frigga spoke softly.

“We aren’t testing your fighting abilities, we are testing your illusion abilities.”

Both Loki’s turned to you glaring.

“Fine.”

You walked up facing the two Loki’s. You knew the one on the right was the real Loki and the one on the left was the illusion, but you still weren’t over the water incident from a few weeks ago. _Time for revenge._ You stepped to your right facing off with the real Loki. _Time to make him pay._ You moved a little closer and he gave you a small smirk. You swiftly brought your hand up, intending to smack the smirk off his face. His hand shot up quickly catching your hand before it made contact, pulling you slightly closer to him.

“Told you. You could never figure out.”

“This is for drenching me.”

You swiftly kicked his knee out from under him causing him to drop to the floor. You took the opportunity to pull the hand that was holding yours behind his back, possibly pulling a little harder than necessary. His other illusion slowly vanished and you heard a small laugh from behind you.

“I don’t know what you did to deserve that Loki, but I would suggest not doing it again.”

Loki sighed softly and you let him go. You flashed Frigga a smile before turning back to Loki and offering him a hand. He hesitated slightly before accepting it. You quickly pulled him up.

“How did you know?”

“You can’t hide your irritating attitude.”

His face contorted in annoyance which made you laugh. But his face slowly softened.

“Please, tell me.”

You stopped laughing and sighed. _Always getting me with that pouty face._

“I could read the emotions in your eyes. Your illusions were lifeless, their eyes were almost glazed over.”

You looked him in the eyes, a soft blush appeared on his cheeks. He quickly dropped his gaze and began fidgeting his hands. _Still not over that habit I see._

“So I need to conceal my emotions better.”

You sighed.

“Or give your illusions more emotion.”

Loki smirked before looking up at you.

“But then how would you beat me?”

You let out a small laugh.

“What are you two whispering about?”

Frigga’s voice was directly behind you, nearly making you jump into Loki’s arms.

“(Y/N) was just admitting in a fair fight I would win.”

Loki gave you a sly smirk as you tried to regain your composure.

“I wouldn’t be too overconfident my son. She may need some practice but I’m sure in a few years her strength could rival yours and Thor’s.”

You stared at Frigga in awe. _Does she really believe that?_ Frigga gave you a soft smile. _If she believes that then I can’t let her down._

“Can we practice to control my flames again?”

Loki gave you a side-long glance.

“You know this is my training time, right?”

You merely shrugged.

“Relax, I’m sure you both can train at the same time.”

“Best be prepared than.”

Loki flicked his wrist and a bucket of water appeared in his hands. He turned to you a grin on his face. You took a step back, raising a finger up to him.

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

He broke into a full smile as he launched the water at your face. You snapped your eyes shut preparing for the impact. It never came. You slowly opened one eye noticing the water frozen in the air.

“Really you two?”

You turned to Frigga who had a hand raised, a look of disappointment on her face.

“She started it.”

You turned to Loki who had an innocent smile on his face. _Oh that’s it._ You went charging after him only to pass through an illusion and nearly fall on your face.

“More emotion. Thanks for the tip.”

Loki was practically yelling from the other side of the garden.

“I swear when I get my hands on you!”

You turned towards him. Loki raised a finger.

“Ah you mean if.”

He broke into a smirk as he dashed across the garden towards the castle halls. You quickly chased after him, a smile appearing on your face. You heard Frigga mutter something under her breath as you passed by, but you didn’t catch it. The last thing you saw was the knowing smile that rested on her face before you turned intent on catching Loki.


	21. Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last 'chapter' will be a three-parter. I will post all three parts tonight then start on the Thor timeline tomorrow. So excited!!

­It had been a few weeks since the Nidavellir incident and things had begun to calm down. You were currently in the garden practicing controlling your power. Frigga had left some time earlier after speaking quietly with a guard. The sun had begun to set behind the castle casting darkness across the grass. You used this as an opportunity. You gathered some flames in your hand and took aim at the nearest unlit lamp post. You took a deep breath, your flames building and falling with your inhale and exhale. You gathered your nerve flicking your wrist in the direction of the lamp post. It erupted in a ball of flames, scorching the wall behind it. _Too much._ You exhaled turning to the next lamp post on the wall. You took a breath again focusing on dwindling the flames slightly. You raised your hand to the lamp post, flexing your fingers slightly. A small flame shot out from your palm but dwindled before reaching its target. You clenched your fists in frustration causing the grass around your feet to burn.

“Mother is not going to like that.”

 _Of course he would see that._ You closed your eyes and steadied your breathing slowly the flames in your hands disappeared. You opened your eyes again before slowly turning towards the voice. Loki was standing at the garden entrance leaning awkwardly against the wall. Your face dropped. _Somethings wrong._

“I thought you would have mastered that by now.”

His snarky remarks lacked their usual edge. He pushed himself off the wall and crossed the garden to you.

“It cannot be that hard.”

It wasn’t until he stepped into the little light that remained you noticed the cuts and bruises that littered his face. He smirked when he caught your reaction.

“You should see the other guy.”

Usually, you would smack him for such a stupid comment, which is probably why he flinched when you brought your hand up to his face. You carefully inspected each wound before letting your powers take over and begin to heal each one. Loki quickly brought his hand up to try to pull yours away but you merely swatted his away.

“You don’t have-“

“Oh shut up.”

The sun continued to set dropping the garden into darkness save for the one lit lamp post and the soft amber glow from your hand.

“You going to tell me what happened?”

You took his silence as a no and sighed softly.

“Okay then.”

The last bruise slowly vanished from his eye and you slowly pulled your hand away. Loki’s eyes did not leave the ground the entire time. You knew something was wrong but you also knew better than to push him. Instead, you turned back to the last remaining lamp post. You took a breath and felt the flames ignite in your hand. You slowly aimed at the remaining lamp post.

“You try too hard.”

You flinched slightly, you had figured Loki left, instead, you felt him move closer behind you.

“What do you mean?”

You kept your gaze on the lamp post in front of you.

“You are focusing too much on failing. It clouds your mind. Focus on the task, nothing more.”

You felt the frustration well up inside you. _What do you think I’ve been focusing on?_ You were about to give him a piece of your mind but froze at his next words.

“I know you can do this.”

You felt multiple emotions wash over you, the biggest one being confidence. You glared down the lamp post in front of you. _You will light._ You flicked your wrist up towards it. _But you will not burn._ A flame erupted from your hand but dwindled as it reached its target. You didn’t think it actually hit it until the lamp post lit up perfectly. You let out a surprised laugh, unable to look away from your success. You slowly came to your senses and turned quickly to thank Loki. But you realized the garden was empty. _Where did he go?_


	22. Mjolnir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2

__Concern washed over you as you dashed through the castle halls. You had never seen Loki act this way and it kind of scared you. Your eyes could not keep up with your movements as you crashed into what felt like a wall. You were tumbling to the ground when a pair of arms caught you, bringing you back to your feet.

“(Y/N), best be careful of where you are running lest you get injured.”

You glanced up and realized you had run into Thor, and he was still holding you in his arms. Embarrassed you shimmied out of his grip into a slight bow.

“Sorry, I was in a hurry. I’ll be more careful.”

You turned to leave but a strong hand held you by the shoulder turning you back towards him. Thor gazed down on you, concern written all over his face.

“What is the matter?”

You shook your head.

“It’s nothing.”

“That is clearly a lie.”

You caught his gaze and for some reason, tears began to form in your eyes. You quickly pulled away.

“It’s Loki. He’s not acting like himself.”

Thor’s expression dropped and he could no longer meet your gaze.

“What do you know Thor?”

Your voice came out harsher than intended, like scolding a child. Thor took a moment before looking back at you.

“Father arranged a duel between Loki and myself today, to gauge our abilities.”

 _Well, that explains the bruises._ You maintained eye contact waiting for him to continue.

“So we had a glorious battle. In the end Loki would have been victorious, however…”

Thor took a breath then glanced to a table behind him, on it sat a hammer. _Mjolnir?_

“Father tossed it into the ring in the heat of battle and it brought itself to me. With Mjolnir I swiftly ended the contest.”

“Contest?”

“It was father’s final test, to prove I am his worthy successor.”

Everything clicked in your head and you nearly beat yourself up of not seeing it earlier. You brought your hands to your face, trying to contain your emotion. You took a deep breath.

“Thank you Thor.”

You quickly bowed than turned on your heels to leave.

“Do you not want to hear the details of the amazing battle?”

You ignored the question and kept running. You felt guilty for leaving Thor, in any other situation you would have loved to hear his tales. But right now you needed to find Loki. You took a quick left, turning heading towards the learning hall. You caught a few curious glances as you rushed through the castle but you ignored everyone. A few more turns and you came to a stop in front of two large doors. Night had fallen and this part of the castle was now deserted. You took a deep breath before slowly cracking one of the doors open and sneaking inside the library.


	23. The Would Be King

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The next chapter is the start of the MCU timeline!!! Can't wait, an excuse to rewatch the movies!! Totally for research purposes only.... *wink wink*

The library was dark, the only light you knew came from a single-window near the back of the library. You raised a hand and created a small flame, before quickly making your way through the rows of books. _How could I not have seen it?_ You scurried through the maze of books relying on memory alone. _I should have known!_ You didn’t have to think as your feet had memorized each step. _I shouldn’t have let him leave!_ Moonlight came into view and you came to a sudden halt, your flame disappearing into sparks. You instantly recognized the figure sitting on the window sill.

“Figures I’d find you here.”

You could tell he heard you by the slight twitch in his shoulders but he didn’t move. You gave a soft sigh then took a place sitting against the wall. Loki’s back was to you as he stared out the window. You sat like that, not speaking, for what seemed like forever. This wasn’t the first time the two of you had been here.

When you first arrived on Asgard you thought everything would be better. But it was during the night, when you were alone, that the nightmares came. In the first week, you barely slept more than 8 hours. You found that every time you closed your eyes you were met with a different nightmare. Dionysus, Vixen, burnt bodies, all the atrocities that happened to you in your time in the dungeon. You were losing your mind. On a particularly bad night you woke up screaming, guards came to check on you but you lost control of your powers severely injuring them. Fearing the worst you ran and hid. Loki found you hours later, in the library. Your powers were still out of control, but he didn’t leave you. Instead, he just sat and read until you calmed down. When you finally did he tried to coax you out of the library but you refused, you were afraid everyone would think you were a monster. You never forgot what he said to you, “You are probably right, so prove them wrong.” He was the one that went with you to heal the guards. He was the one to take Odin’s wrath to let you stay in Asgard. And he was the one that would read to you in the library every time you got upset or couldn’t sleep or just needed to getaway. This spot became important to both of you, and now it was your turn to help him.

You tossed a flame between your fingers, the soft crackling letting Loki know you were still here.

“I don’t want to talk.”

“Okay. Then we’ll just sit here.”

You keep the flame bouncing between your fingers. As the minutes ticked by you began to shoot small flames onto the stone floor in front of you attempting to hit the same place twice but failing.

“Your aim is almost as bad as Thor’s.”

You held a single finger up to Loki, who was now turned around to face you.

“But I could still hit your big head.”

Loki gave a soft smile but turned to look out the window again. You gazed at him for a moment before returning to your game. Another few minutes ticked by before you heard his voice again.

“The worst part... is I knew this was going to happen. But I still couldn’t stop it.”

You stopped firing your flames but kept your head down to listen.

“He said my skills and cunning were unmatched by any other, but strength is what makes a _true king_.”

Loki gave a soft laugh before taking a deep breath. You slowly turned to him. His eyes were fixed on something out the window, but you could tell he was barely holding himself together.

“What do you think?”

“What?”

Loki turned to you a slight harshness to his voice. You tried to keep as calm as you could.

“What do you think makes a good king?”

“Not that blubbering oaf that’s for sure.”

You kept your eyes on him and his expression slowly softened.

“Strength matters, but intellect is equally important. A wise king is just as powerful as a strong king.”

You gave him a soft smile.

“I would have won.”

You barely made out the words, which you assumed were more for him than you. Loki’s gaze dropped to his hands which were fidgeting on his lap.

“Would it have changed anything?”

The question was harsh, you knew that, but you wanted him to be honest with himself. His eye’s shot up to meet yours, the anger slowly replaced by something softer, before he turned his gaze back to his hands.

“No.”

You could hear the hurt in his voice as if he finally accepted the fact he was destined to be a prince but never a king.

“You are probably right.”

He looked back to you shock written on his face. Your gaze dropped slightly as you recalled what he said to you all those years ago.

“So prove them wrong.”

You looked back to him with a soft smile on your face. His shocked expression faded away to a smirk.

“Using my own words against me, you’ve turned into quite the manipulator.”

“Well, I have learned from the best.”

“You said it, not me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. You finally had your Loki back and you couldn’t be happier.


	24. The Ceremony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is the beginning of the MCU. I honestly do not know how many chapters I will have for each movie, it will kind just be whatever feels right. Almost all chapters will directly relate to the movie, save for some added scenes. I might throw in a chapter every now and again that doesn't directly relate to the movie but still makes sense in the timeline.
> 
> If you have any questions feel free to ask.
> 
> **Also, some information might come from deleted scenes, if you have not watched them I insist you do, they are great!**

You stood in front of your mirror adjusting the armour that hung on your body. _Why must they insist on full armour for a ceremony?_ You shifted the last shoulder plate in place then stepped back to look at yourself. You wore a silver breastplate with shoulder plates that matched. Underneath was a simple black tunic, barely visible save for the bottom which split in two covering your front and back and reaching about mid-thigh. You also wore black tights with armoured boots that reached up to your mid-thigh and had a secret interior compartment for your knives. Your arms remained bare, seeing that anything would easily be burned off by your flames. You hated wearing armour. It felt too restricting to you. And yet here you were. You slowly began pulling your hair up into a high ponytail, stray strands falling softly around your face. A soft knock made you turn towards the door.

“Come in.”

You had just finished with your hair as Loki entered your room dressed in his full armour as well.

“Glad I’m not the only one that has to wear this get-up.”

Loki smiled slightly.

“Oh come on, you don’t look to awful.”

You gave him a light punch in the arm. Before noticing the helmet in his hands. You quickly snatched it.

“What’s this now?”

Loki moved to grab it back but you backed away quickly and held up a flaming hand to stop him from approaching. You held up the helmet inspecting the horns on top. You turned to him eyebrow raised.

“Really? What poor cow had to die to make this?”

He merely rolled his eyes.

“Cause I haven't heard that one before. Just tell me you hate it and give it here.”

“I never said that I hate it. Besides there is only one way to find out.”

You put out your flames and stepped closer to Loki. You brought up the helmet placing it gently on his head. Loki froze, not taking his eyes off you. After fitting it in place you took a step back cocking your head to the side for a better look.

“Not bad, I think it will grow on me.”

Loki scoffed turning his gaze to the side but you caught a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

“We should get going. The ceremony will be starting soon.”

With that, he turned to exit. You held back the grin that was forming on your face as you slowly dashed to catch up to him. You soon falling in step with him.

“So, what can we expect from you today. Exploding cakes, living plants, never-ending music.”

You turned to him a smirk on your face. He glanced your way.

“Do you really think that little of me?”

You gave a soft laugh.

“Oh come on Loki, I’m merely joking.”

“If you must know I already talked to Thor and gave him my blessing.”

You froze mid-step. Loki paused a few steps ahead and turned back to you a confused look on his face.

“No tricks? Who are you, and what have you done with my Loki?”

You both stared at one another before breaking into smiles.

“I do not always have to be the God of Mischief you know.”

“Sure, sure.”

You waved your hand at him as you fell into step beside him again.

"Okay, there may have been a small incident with some wine and some snakes."

Loki glanced your way a grin on his face. You simply shook your head.

“I knew it. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be staying away from the cakes later.”

Loki laughed softly. _I wish he would laugh more often._ You tore your eyes away from him noticing you had reached your destination. The back door to the throne room hall stood before the two of you. You could hear the cheers of many Asgardians on the other side of the door. You glanced at Loki who seemed frozen in place his eyes staring off into the abyss. You quickly grabbed his hand, it seemed cold, even for him. The touch pulled him out of whatever trance he was in and he glanced down to his hand, and then to you.

“It’s going to be fine. One day, they will cheer for you. I swear it.”

Loki gave a slight chuckle before turning back to the doors. He took a deep breath and you released his hand. He stepped forward pushing one of the doors open before walking through. You followed quickly behind him. The throne room opened out to the both of you. Hundreds of Asgardians filled the hall chanting for Thor. Loki moved with purpose to his position next to Frigga, you followed taking a position next to him.

“Do you realize how late you two are?”

Sif spoke over her shoulder to you. You could barely hear her over the roar of the crowd.

“I knew I couldn’t trust him to retrieve you.”

You opened your mouth preparing to defend Loki when she turned to face you.

“He’s too much of a distraction for you.”

A smirk appeared on her face as a blush covered yours.

“You’re one to talk, where did you leave Thor?”

You both paused before breaking into laughs. As the only two high ranking women warriors in Asgard you had grown close and loved to tease each other about your silly crushes. Most of your joking was based on nothing, but there was some truth to both sides.

“Trust me, if I willed it so, you would never find him.”

You broke into more laughter, completely unaware of the eyes on you.

“What are you two talking about?”

You froze, stifling your giggles, before turning to Loki.

“Nothing.”

His face told you he knew you were lying but you ignored it, turning back to Sif and laughing some more. You could hear his clear groan behind you, making you laugh some more.

A loud cheer erupted from the crowd, grabbing you and Sif’s attention. You looked up, noticing Thor entering on the other side of the room. He held Mjolnir high in the air as he strut down the centre of the hall. You had to admit, he had come far from the days when you were children and you could beat him and Loki with a single punch. He grew into a fine warrior, strong and brave. But something was missing that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. As he made it to the front of the hall he knelt before Odin glancing quickly in your direction, towards Loki and Frigga, then in the other direction towards the warriors three. Odin slowly rose, pounding his spear on the ground, a signal for everyone to fall silent, before launching into his speech.

“Thor Odinson, my heir, my firstborn. So long entrusted with the mighty hammer Mjolnir…”

You kept your eyes on Thor and couldn’t help but smile at how happy he was. That’s when you felt it, a coldness wash over you. You turned your head towards Loki, but he seemed oblivious, his eyes not leaving Odin. You scanned your surroundings, trying to find the source of the chilly air, but to no avail. You shook your head, convincing yourself it was all in your head, a side effect of wearing this ridiculous armour.

“Do you swear to guard the nine realms?”

“I swear.”

You felt another blast of cold air.

“Do you swear to preserve the peace?”

“I swear.”

Goosebumps began to form on your skin.

“Do you swear to cast aside all selfish ambition and to pledge yourself only to the good of the realms?”

“I swear.”

 _Something has to be wrong._ You turned your head again to Loki who finally caught your eye. His brow scrunched in confusion. 

“Then, on this day, I, Odin Allfather, proclaim you…”

Odin paused, causing both you and Loki turn your gaze toward him.

“The Frost Giants.”

His gaze shifted slightly before he swiftly pounded his spear on the floor. _Frost giants?_ The hall erupted in screams but Odin swiftly pounded his spear again causing everyone to fall into silence.

“I ask everyone to calmly exit this hall, for now, the ceremony will have to wait.”

A murmur entered the crowd, but people began to file out of the hall in an orderly fashion. Odin’s gaze fell to Thor and Loki.

“My sons, come with me.”

Odin swiftly turned heading towards the side exit, Thor and Loki following swiftly behind. You tried to follow as well but were caught by Frigga.

“Not now sweetie.”

You were frantic, trying to pull yourself away from her grip.

“But I felt them.”

Frigga held you in place forcing you to meet her gaze.

“What?”

Your eyes met hers and you could see your fear reflected in her eyes.

“I felt them, I knew they were here.”

“Who?”

“The Frost Giants.”


	25. To Jotunheim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May not be my best chapter, idk why it just seemed so hard to write which is why it took so long. The next one will be better. I swear.

Frigga pulled you through the back halls weaving effortlessly between rushing guards and panicking servants. She took a quick left tucking into a smaller empty office room pulling you in behind her. She quietly shut the door then turned to you.

“Tell me everything sweetie.”

You nodded slowly, playing back the events in your head.

“Just as the ceremony started, I felt a cold breeze. It caught my attention but I could not find the source. As the ceremony went on it kept getting colder and colder until...”

You dropped your gaze, goosebumps reforming on your skin.

“Until Odin pounded his spear on the floor.”

You looked back at Frigga who was toying with her hands as she gazed at the ground.

“What happened? What’s going on?”

She must have sensed the worry in your tone as she carefully took your hand.

“Do not worry about that for now. Just know we are all safe.”

“The Frost Giants, you were at war with them before, weren’t you?”

You vaguely remembered the history lessons she taught you. Frigga slowly nodded, a solemn expression on her face.

“Yes, a long time ago. It nearly destroyed both of us. But a treaty was made, and we have been at peace ever since.”

“Why can feel them?”

Frigga sighed.

“I do not know. It may be due to your powers. Your body is built to withstand intense heat. It stands to reason it would be more sensitive to the cold than ours.”

You slowly nodded.

“This is all conjecture at the moment. I will speak with Odin about this. We will figure it out. Do not fret.”

You nodded again, trying to process everything. Frigga moved towards the door but paused before opening it.

“I would keep this between us for now.”

You looked to her, nodding again. She smiled and exited the room. You stood there in the silence, thinking. _How did they get past Heimdall? Why can I feel them? And why do they feel like…Loki?_ You shook your head, erasing the thoughts. Frigga told you not to worry, there is no point fretting about it when you don’t have all the information. For now, all you could do was make sure everyone else was okay. You quickly made your way to the door and back out into the busy hall.

You paced through the halls hoping to find Thor or Loki to get some more information. You eventually ran into Sif and the others who seemed to be doing the same thing.

“Have you seen either of them?”

You shook your head.

“I rechecked the throne room and their rooms. Nothing.”

“Where could Odin have taken them?”

A loud crash caught both your attention. You gave each other a quick glance before taking off to the great hall.

“Redecorating are we?”

You entered shortly behind Sif to find the feast table flipped over, food laying on the floor.

“Well, that’s a waste.”

Volstagg entered shortly behind you.

“You’re telling me. All this innocent food.”

You thought he was about to fall to the ground in tears. Honestly, you felt the same, after being barely fed anything for years, it still hurt you to see any food put to waste. You put a gentle hand on Volstagg’s shoulder and he let out a little whimper.

“It breaks the heart.”

You gave him a small pat of reassurance. Before turning your gaze towards Thor. He had talked with Odin, he would know more about the Frost Giants. You took a step towards where he was sitting on the stairs but Sif stuck a hand out stopping you. Your gaze turned to her, she simply nodded towards Thor. You turned your gaze back, noticing Loki taking a seat next to Thor. 

“Give them some time.”

You sighed softly before stepping back. Volstagg was now going through the leftover food, Fandral was tossing him various cheeses to add to his collection. While Hogun and Sif kept their eyes on Thor and Loki.

“No, no no no, I know that look.”

You all turned to watch Thor stand swiftly. _Oh no._

“It’s the only way to ensure the safety of our borders.”

“Thor, its madness.”

_Great. Thor is coming up with ideas now._

“Madness? What sort of Madness?”

Volstagg barely glanced up from his food to question Loki.

“It’s nothing. Thor was merely making a jest.”

Something in Loki’s voice caught your attention, but you brushed it aside as we were all a little shaken at this point.

“The safety of our realm is no jest. We’re going to Jotunheim.”

You froze. _He has to be joking._ You heard the murmur of arguments arise from the others but you were focused on Thor. _He’s been brash before but this is a lot. Even for him._ Your gaze shifted as it caught motion from Loki. He had dropped his head to his hand, rubbing his temple.

“It is forbidden!”

Sif’s raised voice snapped you back to your senses. You brought your gaze back to Thor.

“Thor, not only were they able to get passed Heimdall, they made it all the way to the castle undetected. What makes you think we have any chance in their realm?”

There was a moment of pause before Thor’s face lit up and he came waltzing over to each of you.

“My friends, have you forgot all we have done together?”

Fandral was the first he reached.

“Who brought you into the sweet embrace of the most exotic maidens in all of Yggdrasil?”

“You helped a little.”

Thor clapped him on the back before advancing to Hogun.

“And who led you into the most glorious of battles?”

Hogun looked down before a small smile crept onto his lips.

“You did.”

Thor continued to Volstagg.

“And the delicacies so succulent, you thought you’d died and gone to Valhalla?”

Volstagg gave a soft laugh before looking up from his meal.

“You did.”

Thor turned on his toes to face you.

“And who showed you that emotions were the key to controlling your power?”

“As I recall you just kept pissing me off until Loki and Lady Frigga pieced it together.”

“True but if I didn’t do that then they may have never figured it out.”

You scoffed shaking you head slightly at Thor, but a small smiled formed on your lips. _That charismatic bastard._ Your eyes followed him as he made his way to Sif.

“And who proved wrong all who scoffed at the idea that a young maiden could be one of the fiercest warriors this realm has ever known.”

“I did.”

The response threw Thor slightly and you had to hold back your laughter.

“True, but I supported you Sif.”

Thor turned to make eye contact with each of you.

“My friends, trust me now, we must do this.”

You sighed, there was no convincing him otherwise at this point. He made his way up the stairs to Loki.

“You aren’t going to let my brother and I take all the glory are you?”

The question caught Loki by surprise.

“What?”

“You are coming with me aren’t you?”

You gazed at Loki, you could see him thinking. His eyes met yours and you noticed him clasp his hands slightly together, before turning to Thor.

“Yes, of course.”

He stood up to stand next to Thor, turning to all of you.

“I won’t let my brother march into Jotunheim alone.”

“And I.”

We all turned to Volstagg who seemed just surprised as us to the words that just exited his mouth. Fandral turned to face Thor.

“And I.”

Hogun nodded slightly.

“And I. The warriors three fight together.”

Sif sighed slightly.

“I fear we will live to regret this.”

They all turned to face you. You sighed softly.

“Like I would let all you idiots go alone. Someone has to save you when this all goes sideways.”

Sif smirked slightly before turning to Thor and bowing slightly. The warriors copied her motion then turned and exited the room. You quickly turned to Thor and Loki.

“Please tell me there is some sort of plan.”

Thor clapped your shoulder as he exited the room.

“Don’t die.”

“Great.”

You dropped your gaze letting out a sigh.

“There is no stopping him at this point.”

You looked up noticing Loki standing in front of you.

“Please tell me you have a plan.”

You saw something flicker in Loki’s eyes but it was gone in a moment.

“Keep him alive.”

He quickly walked pass you to exit the room. You turned on your heels to follow him.

“Great plan.”

You both made your way to the stables meeting up with the others who had gathered their armor and gear. They each prepped their own horse and you notice Loki leave to grab his.

“How will we get past the gatekeeper? It is said he sees all, hears all.”

Volstagg seemed worried as he latched his ax onto his horse.

“Well seeing as he’s letting Frost Giants in now, maybe we will slip by unnoticed.”

Fandral pulled himself up on to his horse and Volstagg stared at him open-jawed.

"You did not just insult the gatekeeper!"

“Worry not my friends, I’m sure (Y/N) here will get us past.”

Thor turned to you a smile on his face. You raised a finger to him.

“Oh no, you are not putting this all on me. He is like a father to me, I will not use that against him.”

“Well, then we will just have to really on Loki’s silver tongue.”

Fandral’s gaze shifted behind you and you turned to see Loki striding up on his horse.

“I trust I will be able to get us past Heimdall.”

“Good. Then we are all set.”

Thor mounted his horse as a hand thrusted into your vision. You turned to face Loki.

“One of these days you will have to learn.”

You smirked and grabbed his hand but the coldness made you freeze. _It felt just like the Frost Giants._ Loki gave you a slight tug snapping you out of your head. He gave you a concerned look but you faked a smile. His expression relaxed and he easily pulled you up to sit behind him.

“Why waste the time when I could just have you take me everywhere?”

You caught his smirk but he quickly turned his head and cleared his throat.

“I am a prince, not a servant.”

You waved your hand slightly.

“Sure sure, now onward.”

Loki snapped the reins and the horse took off faster than you expected, causing you to grab on to Loki. You could feel him laughing and you gently smacked him on the shoulder.

“Not funny.”

“I beg to differ.”

The others fell in stride beside you as you made your way to down the rainbow bridge to Heimdall.


	26. Gatekeeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short. Probably should have been part of last chapter...oops...

It was not long before you neared the entrance of the Bifrost. You noticed Heimdall already standing in front, blocking your path. The horses slowed to a stop and everyone jumped down. Thor was the first to approach Heimdall, but Loki quickly stepped in front.

“Leave this to me.”

Loki stepped up to Heimdall who met the gaze of each of us before settling on Loki.

“Good Heimdall…”

“You’re not dressed warmly enough.”

 _Well, there goes the element of surprise._ Loki froze.

“I’m sorry?”

“The freezing cold of Jotunheim will kill you all in time. Even Thor.”

Heimdall made eye contact with you, you felt guilt wash over you making you drop your gaze.

“Did you think you could deceive me?”

“You must be mistaken…”

Loki began stumbling over his words, something you had never seen him do before. You were about to intervene when Thor cut him off.

“Enough! Heimdall may we pass?”

Your gaze shifted from Loki to Thor finally to rest on Heimdall.

”Never has an enemy slipped by my watch until this day. I wish to know how that happened.”

“Then tell no one where we have gone until we’ve returned.”

 _No way! He’s actually letting us go?_ You never thought you would actually have to go to Jotunheim. You stood frozen in your spot as the others followed Thor into the Bifrost. Heimdall met your gaze.

“Jotunheim is no place for you, I do not expect you to go and yet I would expect no less of you.”

You gave him a solemn smile.

“Someone has to keep them safe right.”

Heimdall returned your smile.

“I will keep my eye on you, if I sense danger and can return you safely I will do so.”

“Thank you.”

You bowed slightly before moving to enter the Bifrost.

“Please take care.”

The words were a whisper but you heard them clear as day.

“I will.”

You entered the Bifrost and moved to stand beside Loki. He had a calm expression but something about it was off. He glanced your way, you gave him a slight nod which he returned before turning back to face the portal. Heimdall’s voice came booming from behind you.

“Be warned. I will honor my sworn oath to protect this realm as Gatekeeper. If your return threatens the safety of Asgard, Bifrost will remain closed to you. And you’ll be left to die in the cold waste of Jotunheim.”

You kept your gaze on the slowly opening portal in front of you. _It’s fine. Just another realm. You’ve been to other realms before. Nothing new._ You tried to trick yourself into calming down but it wasn’t working. Your hands began to shake and you could feel the energy inside you begin to build.

“I have no plans to die today.”

Thor’s overly cheerful voice snapped you out of your panic.

“None do.”

Those were the last words you heard before your body was thrown into the portal.


	27. Jotunheim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap in, another long one
> 
> Also fight scenes, not my strong suit. Hoping this helps me practice to make them better

_Cold._ You knew it would be cold but this was worse than you expected. Your exposed arms immediately started to sting from the cold breeze. You quickly produced a flame to warm up but a hand fell quickly on your arm. You looked up meeting Loki’s gaze. He simply shook his head. You quickly extinguished the flame. He had a point, the glow from the flame was like a giant target. You pulled as much energy as you could into your arms without creating a flame which barely managed to keep the cold at bay.

“Let’s move.”

Thor began to walk forward. The rest of us shared worried glances before following closely behind him. Ice covered nearly the entire planet giving it an eerie blue hue. If it weren’t for the cold, it would probably be very beautiful. As you continued to walk you began to notice something.

“Where is everybody?”

You turned your gaze to Loki who merely shrugged at your question.

“They are hiding, as cowards always do.”

You both turned to Thor who seemed unbothered by the entire situation. You noticed stone ruins resembling buildings take shape through the snow. A rather large building lay directly in front of you. Thor headed directly for it, the rest of you following shortly behind him.

“You’ve come a long way to die, Asgardians.”

A voice echoed against the stone, but you could not find who it belonged to.

“I am Thor Odinson!”

Thor took a step forward surveying the area, his gaze caught onto something on the back wall. You followed his gaze to see a larger figure sitting on a throne. His blue skin camouflaged him into the background the only thing that caught your attention was the blood-red eyes staring each of you down.

“We know who you are.”

Shivers ran up your spine, your energy no longer blocking out the cold. _There is more than one._ You scanned your surroundings in a panic. You felt this before, you knew what it meant.

“How did your people get into Asgard?”

“The house of Odin is full of traitors.”

You dropped your voice to a whisper.

“Loki?”

He glanced towards you before returning his gaze to the figure.

“He’s not alone.”

You kept shifting your gaze amongst the snow until they fell on numerous pairs of red eyes.

“Your father is a murderer and a thief.”

The raised voice drew your attention back to the figure which was now standing and you finally realized why they were called Frost Giants. He was at least double the size of Thor.

“And why have you come here? To make peace? You long for battle. You crave it. You are nothing but a boy trying to prove himself a man.”

Numerous Frost Giants began to surround all of you. You caught Loki’s gaze once more.

“We need to go. This is suicide.”

Loki quickly turned to Thor who seemed to be getting more pissed with each passing second.

“Thor, stop, think. We are outnumbered.”

Thor merely shrugged him off. Keeping his gaze on the Frost Giant in front of him.

“You know not what your actions would unleash. I do. Go now, while I still allow it.”

Your eyes fell on the Frost Giant who had a solemn look on his face. _He’s just going to let us go?_ The other Frost Giants did not move, but they also did not attack. You turned your eye’s to Loki who had his hold on Thor.

“We will accept your most gracious offer.”

Loki slowly pulled Thor away and you all turned to leave the way you came. Thor seemed reluctant but he eventually turned to follow his brother.

“Run back home, little princess.”

 _Damn._ You closed your eyes praying he didn’t hear that.

“Damn.”

 _Well Loki answered that question._ You heard the impact of Mjolnir and quickly opened your eyes. You turned just in time to see Thor hit a second Frost Giant into a nearby wall. _Great._ A soft thud caused you to turn to your left. You noticed one Frost Giant jumping down from a ledge and another making his way towards you. _Shit._ You built up more energy in your arms, waiting for him to get closer. _Finally._ You released all your energy at once, a huge flamethrower burst from your arms covering the entire area in front of you. _Warmth. Finally._ You were about to extinguish your flames when you felt a sharp pain in your stomach. Your flames immediately went out and your gaze dropped down. A knife made of ice pierced your abdomen. You looked up and noticed a wall of ice break down, both Frost Giants safe behind it. A ragged breath escaped your lips and you stumbled backward hitting a wall. _Shit._ The Frost Giants began to charge at you, their arms covered in ice which formed into swords.

“(Y/N)!”

Sif caught your gaze but was too far away to help. Your eyes locked onto the first Frost Giant. _No fire then._ Your hand dropped to your boot, pulling out a knife, your eyes never leaving the Frost Giant in front of you. You waited for the last second, dodging his swing by throwing yourself between his legs. You tumbled but quickly regained your footing, now behind the Frost Giant. _Knives it is!_ You quickly plunged your knife into his back. He let out a growl and slumped slightly forwards. You attempted to pull your knife out of his body but found it frozen in place. Ice crept up the blade to your hand. You quickly let go, falling slightly to the floor. The impact caused a fresh wave of pain to course through your body. You looked down, realizing the knife was still lodged in your stomach, before swiftly pulling it out. You groaned. The action caused stars to appear in your vision but you could see the other Frost Giant practically on top of you. You quickly threw the ice knife at him, rolling out of the way of his blow. The knife ricocheted off his shoulder creating a small gash and causing him to pause before turning back to you.

“Don’t let them touch you!”

Volstagg’s warning drew your gaze for a moment. You looked over, noticing the burn on his arm. _Great._ You quickly drew your focus back to the remaining Frost Giant who seemed frozen. You noticed he was looking at your torso. You glanced down noticing your injury healing. You brought your gaze back to him as you slowly stood.

“Going to take a lot more than that to take me down.”

The Frost Giant growled before charging at you. You quickly dropped your hand into your other boot, pulling out another knife. You dodged his first attack by jumping backward. The second came much quicker, you had to use your knife to parry his ice sword causing his sword to shatter. You took this chance to try to dash past him to join up with the others. You nearly passed him when you felt a cold hand on your arm. You were thrown against the wall. You glanced down, expecting some sort of burn but nothing was there. You took the chance and ignited your power. Flames grew around your arm and the Frost Giant's hand but he kept his grip. You extinguished your flames, but not a single mark was left on him. The Frost Giant looked as confused as you. _I can’t burn them, they can’t burn me._ Before the Frost Giant could reach the same conclusion as you, you grabbed his arm, using it as leverage to hoist yourself up to his head.

“This is for stabbing me.”

You thrust your knife through his neck pulling it out quickly as not to freeze over. The Frost Giant made a slight choking sound before falling frontwards. You hopped off just before he hit the ground. You looked at your hands. You felt a slight tingle, but no burning. _Guess I was right._ A scream brought you back to your senses. You turned to find Fandral skewered by an icicle. You made a beeline for him. You cut through the icicle with your knife catching Fandral as he fell. You heard a yell behind you, turning to find a Frost Giant charging towards the two of you. Before you could think a knife blurred past your vision hitting the Frost Giant and taking him down. You turned your head back to meet Loki’s gaze before he turned to Thor.

“We must go!”

You dropped your gaze to Fandral, trying to heal him enough to move him.

“Then go!”

Sif, Hogun, and Volstagg were at your side but you kept your focus on Fandral. You heard ice begin to crack and fall around you. Sif threw her hand over yours.

“We need to move, now.”

You brought your gaze up to her, she nodded to the side. You followed with your gaze, noticing some sort of monster breaking through the ice.

“Shit.”

Volstagg knelt down, scooping up Fandral who grunted in protest.

“Run!”

Volstagg took off, you followed behind as closely as possible, trying to still heal Fandral, which was nearly impossible with the constant moving. You could hear the heavy footfalls behind you but you kept your gaze on Fandral. Not looking where you were going your foot caught on a piece of ice, you began to tumble but a strong grip grabbed you by the arm pulling you back up.

“Run now, heal later.”

Loki held you by the arm maneuvering you along the path. You heard a loud growl from behind you and chanced a glance back. The ice beast was nearly on top of you.

“Yeah, good point.”

You noticed its tail swing up and shoved Loki to the side. The tail fell exactly between you.

“Come on.”

You felt another hand grab your arm and hoist you back up to your feet. You continued to run, noticing Sif close beside you. You turned back to where Loki was and saw Hogun picking him up as well. The beast was still on your toes and behind it numerous Frost Giants. _We’re screwed._ The monster was closing in but a loud shockwave echoed through the ground. The ice started to crumble taking the beast and many Frost Giants with it. You neared a cliff and slowed to a halt, everyone clustered together.

“Heimdall! Open the Bridge!”

Volstagg was nearly screaming at the top of his lungs. You bent over slightly catching your breath, the effort of using your powers was catching up to you. Movement caught your eye, you turned your gaze coming eye to eye with the ice beast through the ice.

“Shit.”

The beast began climbing over the cliff keeping its eyes on you.

“Well, come on (Y/N), roast it.”

Volstagg clearly didn’t notice you in the last fight.

“Fire doesn’t work on them. My powers are useless.”

You kept your gaze on the beast which kept growing larger. You didn’t even realize you were backing away until you ran into someone. Hands came up to catch your arms and keep you steady. You snapped your head back revealing you had backed into Loki. You saw your fear reflected in his expression. The beast let out a growl causing you both to turn to it. Just as it brought its claw up to attack something ran it through. It let out a choking sound before falling frontwards. You felt a tug as Loki pulled you to the side to avoid one of its claws. You both fell to the side landing hard on the ice.

“Thanks.”

The word came out in a breath as you stared at the sky laying on your back. You heard Loki groan slightly beside you.

“Of course.”

You turned your head, seeing Loki slowly rise to a sitting up position, you followed.

“What was that?”

Your gaze turned to the beast, a giant hole through its neck.

“I’ll give you one guess.”

Loki sounded annoyed and you followed his gaze. Thor’s red cape fluttered behind him as he looped through the sky and landed on the ground right in front of the best. You smirked.

“Show off.”

You and Loki both gave a slight laugh as you stood and made your way to Thor. The beast slowly inched backward, falling off the cliff. You had nearly made it to Thor when goosebumps began to form on your skin. You made eye contact with Loki before turning around. Your eyes met with hundreds of Frost Giants. Your heart skipped a beat. They all came rushing at you at the same time. You and Loki each pulled a knife but you knew it would do little good. Just before they made it to you, you were enveloped in a bright light. You turned to Loki who looked more worried now than he had been with the Frost Giants. You heard a horse whinny and turned to the sound seeing Odin on top his horse wielding Gungnir.

“Father we will finish this together.”

Thor’s shout echoed across the barren land but it was cut off by Odin’s swift command.

“Silence.”

The large Frost Giant from the throne made his way up to Odin.

“Allfather. You look weary.”

“Laufey, end this now.”

“Your boy sought this out.”

Their exchange caught everyone’s attention, you took this as a chance. You slowly crept your way over to Fandral, who was sitting not far behind Loki. You kept your eyes on Odin and Laufey as they continued their talk but slowly began to kneel after making it behind Fandral.

“What are you doing?”

Fandral turned his head slightly, his voice in a whisper. You ignored his question for a moment. You brought your hands under his coat, finding his still seeping wound. You brought your hands together taking a deep breath and praying that his coat will block the light. You slowly engaged your power feeling the energy flow from your hands.

“Saving your life. If this goes even more south we will need all of us to fight our way out.”

Fandral nodded slightly.

“Thank you.”

“War.”

Your attention was drawn to Laufey on that word. His demeanor changed, you could see him forming a knife of ice in his hand. You turned to Odin to warn him but he simply raised his spear.

“So be it.”

In a moment a bright light enveloped you. You could feel your body being pulled away and the cold slowly disappear.


	28. Banishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all those who don't like angst, I would suggest waiting to read this chapter until I release the next chapter tomorrow. It's not super angsty but still, wanted to warn. :)
> 
> Sorry my posting has slowed down. I just started a new job that's tiring me out. Good news get a day off after tomorrow.

Your feet had barely touched the ground before the yelling started.

“Why did you bring us back?”

“Do you realize what you’ve started?”

“I was protecting my home!”

You kept your head down moving to Fandral, as Thor and Odin screamed at one another from across the Bifrost.

“You can’t even protect your friends? How can you hope to protect your kingdom?”

You felt something fly over your head and turned suddenly to see Heimdall catching the Bifrost sword. Not wanting to catch a scolding from him you turned back to Fandral only to realize your body was a lot worse off than you thought. The sudden turn made your head spin and vision go blurry. You stumbled to the side catching yourself on one of the nearby stairs. Sif was quick to your side.

“You pushed too far.”

She threw an arm around your waist pulling your arm over her shoulder to help you into an upright position.

“Get them both to the healing room! Now!”

You shook your head, trying to relieve some of your dizziness. Your vision cleared enough to catch the gazes of a stern Heimdall and a worried Loki before Sif dragged you out of the Bifrost and down the rainbow bridge.

You remember bits and pieces of your travel to the healing room. You remembered Frigga’s concern face, Fandral’s failed attempt at hiding his pain as the maids stripped off his armour. You also remembered Frigga holding you back, as you tried to help in his healing. But then everything went dark.

You woke a few hours later in your room, the night stars still shining outside your window. You slowly sat up, your head a bit heavy. You tried to piece together what happened after arriving back on Asgard but there were too many holes. _Yelling…dizzy…Sif…healing…FANDRAL!_ You shot to your feet barely taking the time to grab a heavier robe as you dashed out your bedroom door to the healing room. You tore through the halls, throwing your robe on as you ran, nearly taking out several guards and maids in the process. Finally, you arrived at the door and quickly threw it open. Your eyes found Fandral sitting up on his bed being fed by three gorgeous maidens. The sound of you throwing open the door caused them all to turn to you.

“Ah, (Y/N), awake so soon. I was betting on another 3 hours at least.”

You clenched your fist trying to hold back your frustration.

“I said it would be a day at least.”

You cocked your head to the side to see Volstagg rummaging through a table of food, a bandage covering his right arm. You lost it. You took a step forward slamming the door behind you. Causing both men to jump slightly and the maidens to take off in the other direction.

“I wake up, in a panic, because I couldn’t remember if I was able to heal you two or not. And here you are, right as rain, lounging in the recovery room. Seriously?!”

They both turned to look at each other, before turning back to you. They both speak over each other trying to come up with some excuse.

“Well see we were going to explain it to you-“

“But like we said we thought you would be out for a little while longer-“

“And we didn’t want to wake you-“

“We knew you needed your rest.”

You sighed bringing your hand to your head. You were madder at yourself for passing out then them for…well really they didn’t do anything wrong. You figured it was all your pent up stress over the past few days coming out on them.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. Just next time write a note or something. You know I can’t remember much during the blackouts.”

“Ah yes, we will be sure to do so.”

Fandral gave a little wave and a half bow to you causing you to laugh. You shook your head as you left the room a smile on your face. _Idiots._

You began to wander the halls. The night was relatively quiet, which was normal after a yelling match like the one you knew happened, even if you couldn’t fully remember it. You moved out to a balcony leaning against the railing and breathing in the night air. You closed your eyes slowly thinking back to the earlier events. Flashes popped into your memory, Odin and Thor yelling, a sword being thrown, Heimdall’s look of disappointment and Loki. Your eye’s shot open. _Loki._ You quickly turned and headed back into the castle, twisting through the halls at a quick pace. The memory of Loki replaying in your head. As you left the Bifrost his gaze was full of concern, at first, that is all you remembered. You took another quick turn nearly colliding with a guard. You swiftly turned, muttering out an apology before continuing on your way. Now that memory was different, more complete before you blacked out your gaze shifted to his arm. It was fractured but you distinctly remember seeing broken armour, torn fabric, and exposed flesh. Usually, when he was injured he would hide it, heal it himself, or if it was worse he would find you and clearly that didn't happen. You hoped he was fine, but something in your gut told you to find him.

You made one last turn coming face to face with the library doors. Still slightly worked up from your encounter with Fandral and Volstagg you threw the doors open a little more aggressively then you intended. This resulted in a loud thud echoing into the library. _Well, at least he knows I’m coming._ You quickly made your way through the library, hurrying to get to the back window. _I swear if you are hurt and didn’t get it properly healed._ You came to a sudden stop. The air was far colder than you were used to, even for Loki. You crept around the final bookshelf not entirely sure what you were expecting to see. The moonlight reflected off Loki as he sat on the windowpane, he held up his arm as if inspecting it. You sighed softly, he wasn’t injured. You took a step closer but paused again. The way the light hit his arm it almost looked blue. You shook your head, not wanting to believe what you saw, before walking out from behind the bookcase.

Loki turned as you entered the moonlight. You caught his gaze for a brief moment before he turned his gaze out the window, dropping his arm. Upon closer inspection, you realized his arm was perfectly normal, but Loki wasn’t. Something was very off.

“I thought you might have been hurt.”

“Why would you think that?”

His gaze didn’t leave the horizon.

“Your armour was fractured.”

He turned to you a hint of surprise on his face before turning his gaze to his arm, his fingers playing with the hem of his cloak.

“It was nothing.”

_Liar._

“As long as you’re okay.”

You turned to leave but Loki’s voice froze you in place.

“I did not mean for this to happen.”

You racked your brain, trying to figure out his meaning before giving up and turning to him, a questioning look on your face. Loki was now standing next to the window. When he caught your expression he returned it with his own look for confusion before taking a deep breath and straightening out his posture.

“You haven’t been informed?”

“Of what?”

The question came out harsher than you intended causing Loki to make himself even taller as he paced around the room hands clasped together staring you down.

“Thor’s banishment.”

“What?”

That caught you completely by surprise. You broke eye contact with Loki dropping your gaze as you racked your brain as to how this could happen. Loki just watched you.

“How could this happen? Why?”

You brought your gaze back up to Loki’s and noticed a flicker of weakness in his gaze, but it was gone in an instant.

“Father said he was unworthy of the realms, of his title, of his power and simply cast him out.”

Loki’s voice was so matter-of-fact it. You've seen him act this way before, but never towards you. Something clicked in your brain and you slowly backed away.

“Loki, you didn’t…”

His strength faltered for a moment before he regained his confidence.

“I only wanted father to see what I saw. He was unfit to be king!”

His voice rose so much it echoed through the empty library. You froze. This was not the Loki you knew. Something happened, something changed him. You wanted to question him, console him, do anything to get your Loki back, but your brain refused to work clouded by to many emotions. You continued to back away.

“This was too far, even for you Loki.”

You’ll never forget the hurt on his face. It lasted for merely a second, but it was engraved into your mind for eternity. Your body was moving on its own now, your mind gone blank. You slowly turned and exited the library, holding back tears just long enough to reach the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean...we can't let Loki get away with this one right? ....right?


	29. Confused

Your mind was blank as you aimlessly wandered the halls. You replayed your conversation with Loki over and over in your head, thinking of countless ways it could have gone better. _I should have stayed. We should have talked it through._ No matter how much you reasoned with yourself you knew you wouldn’t have reacted any different. You were used to Loki’s tricks and schemes but this was too much, even for you. That got you thinking that if he told you, maybe it would have been better, you could have talked him down suggested something else. If you could just go back and help him. You tossed scenario after scenario around in your head, trying to make everything better, you hadn’t even realized where you walked to.

“It would not have changed anything.”

You snapped out of your head, your eye’s meeting Heimdall’s. _The Bifrost?_

“What?”

You quickly wiped the tears that were still left on your cheeks.

“No matter how much you contemplate it, you could not have changed the outcome, Loki has been on edge for quite some time now.”

You dropped your gaze, knowing he was right. But something clicked in your brain and you snapped your eyes back up.

“You were listening to us?!”

You practically screamed, your voice echoing throughout the Bifrost. Heimdall did not react.

“Contrary to beliefs I do not listen in on private conversations. However, I noticed you and Loki in the Library. You entered in a rush, but not emotional, yet how you exited. I can only deduce you and him had a fight.”

The rage in you slowly dwindled, and you dropped your gaze again. You bit your lip, trying to control your emotions but tears began to fall again. You turned away anger beginning to rise again, not towards Heimdall but towards yourself for letting your emotions win.

“Emotion is not a weakness, it merely shows us what we care about.”

You scoffed. _How did he know everything?_

“Maybe I care too much then.”

“There is no such thing.”

You took deep breaths, trying to gain control again. The tears slowly stopped falling, so you turned to Heimdall.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you feel like you should do?”

You didn’t have an answer.

“I don’t know.”

Heimdall sighed.

“When you first came to Asgard you struggled in making friends. You spent a lot of your time with Loki and eventually Thor, but when they were busy you were on your own. I recall one such instance when you were on your way to see me. You stumbled across some children, picking on a stray dog.”

“Rune.”

The words left your mouth before you could even think. Heimdall nodded.

“You chased away the children beating it and attempted to heal the dog. Do you remember what happened?”

You stared at him, unsure what all this meant, but nodded.

“He bit me.”

“But you still healed it.”

“Well of course, he didn’t know any better. He was just defending himself from someone he figured was there to harm him.”

“Exactly, and you did not blame it for that. You healed it, even went so far as bring it back to the castle. As I recall Allfather was not so pleased. But you stood up for the dog, and cared for it for the remainder of its days.”

You thought back to Rune, a small, white, sickly puppy that grew into a powerful wolf-sized dog. The memories brought a smile to your face until you reached the end. You choked back tears, shaking your head.

“What does this have to do with anything?”

Heimdall sighed.

“You did not blame the dog for acting in its nature. Why are you blaming Loki for doing the same?”

 _Wait, What?_ Your eye’s widened in shock. _He can’t be serious._ You never thought you would see the day that Heimdall would defend Loki.

“I am not defending Loki, or his actions.”

You dropped your gaze. _That’s more like it._

“However, I would hope, that if someone was there to help him through his tough moments, maybe he could turn out as well as Rune.”

You felt a strong hand land on your shoulder causing you to glance back up. Heimdall’s expression was soft and calm, causing all the negative emotions to be washed away.

“Now, what do you _feel_ you should do?”

You contemplated everything. What Loki did was wrong. That made you feel hurt and betrayed. You didn’t want to talk to him right now. But if you didn’t talk things out things may get worse. You couldn’t sort out all your feelings, but you were certain of one thing. _I can’t lose him._ Heimdall seemed to sense your resolve as the weight of his hand lifted from your shoulder.

“Go, but know this, I will not give him anymore-“

Heimdall’s eyes shifted to behind you and his expression went dark. You quickly turned to face the castle but saw nothing. You glanced back at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Allfather, he has fallen into the Odinsleep.”

 _But that wasn’t scheduled for another few years?_ You turned back to the castle, brow knit in confusion.

“He was with Loki when it happened.”

Heimdall’s voice was calm but you hinted the slight anger rising. You glanced back towards him but he merely nodded towards the castle.

“Go now. I pray you are not too late.”

Your heart began to beat faster as you turned and took off down the bridge.


	30. Loki's origins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> calm before the storm ya'll. The next few chapters after this are going to be angsty af.

The castle was eerily quiet as you made your ways through the halls. Everyone you passed had a solemn look on their face, which was understandable. Although Odinsleep was normal for Allfather, this one was unplanned, if they didn’t get to him in time he may never awaken. You and Odin may have your differences, but he was a good king to his people, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for each resident you passed. But you didn’t have time to help them mourn, you needed to find Loki. You paused in front of the library doors. Taking a breath you reached up to the doors but froze when you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Not here.”

You turned quickly coming face to face with Loki. You caught his gaze but something felt off. _Not Loki._ One of his doubles stood in front of you.

“Come to the vault.”

You simply nodded your head and the double disappeared. You turned on your heels, once again your body led the way as your mind began to envision every scenario as to why he wanted to meet down there. Before you knew it your feet stopped, causing you to snap out of your thoughts and gaze up. The doors to the vault stood before you, there were no guards in sight. A chill went down your spine, but you raised your hand and pushed open the doors. The vault was darker than you imagined and far larger. Seeing as you were, in Odin’s eyes, an outsider you had never actually entered the vault before. It reminded you of the dungeon, which froze you in your spot. You scanned the area for Loki but with only a few lamp posts lighting the room you could not distinguish him from the other shadows.

“Come in.”

Loki’s voice echoed through the vault, it sounded strained, as if he had been yelling. You took a deep breath, clenching your fists to stop them from shaking, and headed down the stairs of the vault. As you walked you noticed countless artifacts lining the edges of the hallway, each more exquisite looking than the last. You had to force your eyes away from one artifact with a large flame, focusing back on the task at hand. You turned your gaze forward, beginning to make out a silhouette in the shadows. As you inched closer you noticed Loki standing in front of a glowing blue cube. You paused about 2 meters away from him. You both remained silent for a few moments before you finally thought of something to say.

“Why here?”

Loki did not turn around but answered.

“Heimdall cannot see or hear us here.”

You moved to take a step back but stopped yourself. _It’s just Loki, he won’t hurt you._ Again you remained in silence. There were so many things you wanted to say but nothing would come out. Eventually, the tension got the better of you.

“I’m sorry.”

Your voice was a lot quieter than you had anticipated, you were afraid he didn’t hear you, but you notice his back tense.

“Why?”

His voice was calm, but there was an edge to it. He still remained turned away from you making it impossible to read his emotions. Instead, you decided to spill all of yours.

“For leaving. I should have stayed to talk things out, so we could understand each other.”

You paused. _This all sounded better in my head._ Your gaze dropped to the floor and you bit your lip, trying to think of a better way to express yourself.

“You shouldn’t be the one to apologize, I was the monster.”

You snapped your gaze back up meeting his. _Has he been crying?_ Your heart nearly broke in two as you processed Loki’s expression. He always excelled at concealing his emotions, but right now they were written on his face plain as day. You took a few steps closer to him.

“Loki, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Your eyes scanned his body, looking for whatever could be causing him pain.

“No.”

He sounded tired. You brought your eyes back up to meet his. He looked as if he was about to cry.

“Loki, what happened?”

He pulled his eye’s away turning back towards the blue cube.

“I did not intend for Thor to be banished. I just wanted to prove that I was a better successor than him.”

He paused. He tried to calm his voice but it strained from holding back his emotions.

“But now I know, no matter what I did, no matter how good I was, he would have never made me king.”

You could sense the anger and pain in his voice. You wanted to comfort him but something kept you rooted in your place. You both stood in silence, you were unsure what response he was expecting. You decided to question him but before you could speak he continued.

“I’m just a monster. A relic. I belong here with all the others.”

He sounded defeated as he leaned against the pedestal that held the blue cube. You had pieced it together and knew where this was going. Anger built up inside you. _How dare Odin let him feel like a monster._ You wanted to console him but decided it was best if he told you himself. He remained silent and you couldn’t take it anymore. You closed the distance between you two, coming within arm’s reach.

“Loki, what are you talking about? You are not a monster.”

His hand merely reached up, fingers brushed against the blue cube. You felt the temperature drop and goosebumps began to cover your skin. You kept your eyes on his hand, half expecting what would happen. But you still had to hold back a gasp as his skin began to turn blue.

“I’m one of them.”

His voice cracked.

“A monster.”

He turned red eyes meeting yours. You froze, fighting back all instincts your body threw at you. You steadied your breathing keeping eye contact with him.

“You are not a monster.”

Loki tensed.

“Don't you understand! I am a Frost Giant! Laufey's son! I am the monster parents tell their children about! I don’t belong here!”

Loki’s screams echoed through the vault, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. You felt your heart begin to race but kept your composure.

“You may be a Frost Giant, but that doesn’t make you a monster.”

Loki froze, his eye’s not leaving yours.

“What?”

His voice came out more confused than angry.

“What you are doesn’t make you a monster, it’s what you do that decides that. You were the one who taught me that. Or was all that a lie?”

Loki was taken aback by your words. His expression began to soften and his eyes dropped to the floor.

“That was different.”

“No, it isn’t. You are a good person Loki, whether you are a Frost Giant or not.”

You reached out, grabbing his hand and softly removing it from the blue cube. Your fingers tingled at the touch, the intense cold attempting to burn through your skin, but your powers kept them at bay. He flinched at the contact, attempting to pull away, but you kept hold. Your eyes were on his which remained locked on your hands.

“How..?”

His skin began to return to its normal hue followed by his eyes. His gaze returned to meet yours.

“See, not a monster. No matter what anyone says or thinks, you are Loki, prince of Asgard. My friend.”

Loki held your gaze for a moment but then turned away, releasing his hand from your grasp. For some reason, your hand felt colder without his.

“But it’s my fault, all of it, Thor, father.”

You felt a pang of guilt.

“You cannot be blamed for everything Loki. Even you couldn't have foreseen all of this.”

Loki turned back to you and you gave him a soft smile.

“All you can do now is be there for Odin and Lady Frigga. I am sure he will awaken in no time. And Thor is strong, he will find a way home.”

Loki’s expression hardened and something flickered in Loki’s eyes that you couldn’t distinguish.

“You are right. For now, I will stay by my father’s side.”

He turned to leave but paused turning back to you.

“Thank you, (Y/N), for everything.”

His genuine smile brought a blush to your cheeks. You dropped your gaze.

"I simply wanted to make sure you were okay."

You heard him smirk before turning and walking away. You heard the vault doors open and close and felt relief washed over you, a smile appearing on your face. You had your Loki back.


	31. King Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay, this Virus has us all working overtime. Only getting a day off a week, trying to write as much as possible. 
> 
> This chapter technically has no Loki, just you and Frigga.
> 
> Hoping to get one more chapter out before my shift tomorrow. 
> 
> Sorry for the crazy slow down guys, I'll try harder

It had been nearly two days since Thor’s banishment and you were still trying to process it all. You haven’t seen Loki since your last talk, nor Lady Frigga since you had awoken. You thought to visit Odin but now did not seem like the time. You decided instead to use the unusual calm to gather your thoughts and maybe practice your knife skills. You made your way to the garden but paused as you reached its entrance. Standing next to a tree admiring the flowers was Frigga. You slowly began to back away as to not disturb her but her voice caused you to pause.

“I’ve been expecting you.”

 _Of course she has._ Frigga turned to you and you could see the toll that everything had put on her. She still had her feminine grace, but she looked like she had aged 1000 years. You had never seen her look more fragile. You held your breath as you slowly moved to her. She took a seat on a nearby bench, turning her attention back to the flowers. You cautiously took a seat next to her but kept your gaze on your lap.

“He’s the king now.”

You felt your brow crease as you processed her words.

“Loki.”

She had seemed to sense your confusion.

“I see.”

You didn’t know what to say, or what she wanted to hear. It was all so bittersweet.

“What do you think of all this?”

You took a breath, collecting your thoughts. Honestly, you’ve been trying to process all this for a while and it still hasn’t sunk in. But the silence began to eat away at you and soon words began to spill from your mouth without as much as a thought.

“Loki will be a good king, he is very wise.”

“And Thor?”

“Thor would also have made a good king, he has his people’s confidence.”

You heard Frigga sigh and chanced a glance in her direction. Her eyes were still fixed on the flowers.

“I’m afraid you are wrong, sweetie.”

She turned to face you, your gaze meeting hers. She wore a smile, but there was sadness in her eyes.

“You are right to think they would both become great kings. But they are too young, neither of them is prepared for the burden of the throne. They are still so young, have so much to learn.”

Her voice cracked and she turned her eyes back to the flowers taking a deep breath.

“I’m afraid I will lose both my sons to the throne.”

 _Both?_ Her words caught you off guard.

“My lady?”

Her voice was shaking but her face was calm.

“Thor is banished and Loki-“

She fell silent and worry built up inside you. Your gaze dropped to your lap. _What is wrong with Loki?_ Your hands began to shake, you grabbed on to the edge of the bench to keep yourself calm.

“He was always… jealous of Thor. Longed to be his equal. I don’t think he truly intended to be king or realized the challenges that come with it.”

“What’s going on with Loki?”

Your voice was shaking as much as hers as you looked up to her. You met her gaze and noticed the soft amber hue reflected in them. You glanced back down and noticed the stone bench beginning to turn red. You lifted your hands up, not realizing your power had even activated. Frigga reached out slowly catching your hands in hers. You instantly felt your powers subside.

“He’s safe, do not worry.”

You brought your gaze back up to hers. The love in her eyes never ceased to take your breath away. You couldn’t remember your mother but you felt like this is what a mother's love felt like.

“What’s happened to him then?”

Frigga sighed.

“It was too soon for him to take the throne, he needs guidance, but will not accept it for fear of looking weak. I fear if he continues down this path he will be lost to his ambition and fear.”

“You must talk to him, help him. If he is king he has the power to bring Thor back right? They can rule together.”

“He will not listen, he fears looking weak. He will not undo the last command of his father.”

“That-“

You paused noticing the sadness in her eyes. You calmed your voice.

“That doesn’t sound like Loki at all.”

“Fear and power have a way of changing us, sweetie.”

You dropped your gaze again. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Loki seemed confused last time you spoke, but you figured the conversation ended well. _What could have happened?_ You were trying to process your thoughts when a thought clicked in your mind.

“What do you want me to do?”

Frigga gave a soft smile.

“Always observant.”

She had been waiting for you, there was obviously something she thought you could do to help the situation. She grasped your hands harder.

“Speak with him, he will not listen to his mother right now, but maybe he would listen to a friend.”

You stared back at her in shock.

“If he won’t listen to you, what makes you think he will listen to me?”

“You are the only one who truly understands him.”

Your shocked expression only grew larger. A smirk crept onto her face.

“I know you know. You would be the only one he would tell willingly.”

You nodded slightly.

“He trusts you. You may be the only one who can get through to him right now. Please?”

There was a hint of desperation in her voice. You slowly nodded and Frigga gave you a quick smile before patting your hand and standing abruptly. She turned to walk away but paused and turned back to you.

“He has changed since you last spoke. Be prepared.”

With that, she turned and left. You sat in the garden digesting all the information. _What does she mean he’s changed? How much could happen in a matter of days?_ You sat there thinking about every possibility before deciding the best course of action was just to go speak to him. You stood up from the bench and slowly made your way back to the castle. The unease in your stomach getting worse with each passing step.


	32. NEW UPDATE COMING SOON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in forever.

It's been a hell of a year, moved across the country and started 2 new jobs. But finally got my shit together and I'm back to writing. Have the next two chapters ready to go but want to make sure they are what you guys deserve so taking a few more days to edit them. I'll be posting one by Wednesday and the other by Friday. Thank you all for your love and support. I hope you will still enjoy this work until its end.


	33. My King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Re-cap  
> Thor is banished  
> you found out Loki is a Frost Giant  
> Loki is now King but has lost his way  
> Frigga asks you to help get through to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise the chapter came early haha. I just couldn't wait. Does that mean there will be another one tomorrow? Maybe...lol  
>  I know its been... while so it might take me a while to fully get back in the writing pattern I had, but I hope you enjoy this :) 
> 
> P.S. Sorry it's so long XD

You slowly made your way through the castle. Your feet moving much slower than normal as you thought of what you would say. The events of the past few days played in your mind. The coronation, the attack, the frost giants. The last thought instantly brought goosebumps to your skin. You crossed your arms trying to will them away. _What did she mean, he’s changed?_ Frigga’s last words to you played in your head, adding to the growing anxiety. _What the hell am I walking into?_ Countless thoughts and scenarios ran through your head that you didn’t realize how long you were standing outside Loki’s room.

“My Lady?”

The soft voice pulled you from your thoughts and you turned to your right. A young guard was giving you a concerned look.

“Is everything ok?”

You shook your head clearing your thoughts and gave him a soft smile.

“Sorry. Yes, everything is okay.” You took in a breath, strengthening your resolve.

“I wish to see Lok-” You cut yourself off taking another quick breath. “I wish to see my King.”

The guard nodded slightly and slowly pushed the door to Loki’s room open. A blast of cold air hit your face, but you ignored it and quickly moved into the room allowing the door to close behind you. You quickly took in your surroundings. You had never actually been in Loki’s room before, not for lack of trying. Normally the door was locked. The one time that you almost snuck in you nearly had your head taken off by one of Loki’s knives. After that incident, you figured it was best not to try it again. _So neat._ Your eyes traced over the room; everything was perfectly in place. Not a single book was askew, and the bed was perfectly made. _I should really take pointers._ You nearly laughed at your own joke but froze when you caught a familiar silhouette on the balcony. Your skin suddenly became aware of the cold and the goosebumps returned. You bit your lip trying to focus on that pain rather than the cold and began to walk towards the balcony.

“I asked for no visitors.”

His low voice caused you to pause. He sounded different. You took a moment to gather your thoughts.

“I just wanted to check on you. I just heard the news.”

Your voice sounded weak. Any hope of hiding your fear and anxiety was gone. Your head instantly dropped and you bit your lip again.

“So, you’re here to congratulate me then?”

You heard a shuffle then footsteps near you. You clenched your fists trying to build up some courage.

“You’re here to praise the new king and pledge your loyalty?”

There was superiority in his voice more so than you had ever heard. _He really has changed_. The footsteps grew closer and you practically froze.

“Well, I am waiting. Will you serve the new king or not?”

The last word caught just a bit in his throat, a small weakness that caused your head to snap up. You didn’t realize how close he had gotten until your eyes met his. You stood inches apart, neither of you daring to move. You could hear Loki’s breathing, more laboured than it should be. Your eyes searched his, catching numerous emotions rushing through his gaze. One caught your attention, and everything finally clicked.

“You’re scared.”

Loki huffed and turned away not saying a word. _Not my best choice of words._ You let out a small sigh.

“It’s okay Loki. Anyone would be in this situation. To have all this responsibility thrust on you, it's a lot.”

Loki tensed at your words turning back to you.

“You don’t think I can succeed as king?”

His voice was harsh, you had seen him angry before but usually, his fury wasn’t directed at you. You took a step back absentmindedly.

“That’s not what I- “

“I was born a king you know.”

The once calm and collected Loki was gone. You had no clue who this was standing in front of you. _Frigga was wrong, I can’t help him at all._

“I deserve this.”

His raised voice caused you to flinch. Loki froze his eyes never leaving yours. The room fell silent aside from Loki’s heavy breaths. You could feel the tears begin to form. You dug your nails into your closed fists trying to control all the emotions you felt.

“What happened to you?”

Your voice came out in a whimper, but at this point, you didn’t care. You were done being careful with your words, done trying to hide your emotion, just done.

“Why are you acting like this?”

The first tear began to fall but you kept eye contact with him. His bravado slowly disappeared. You realized this was the first time in a long time you let him see you cry. 

“Why won't you talk to me?”

The last few words came out louder than you anticipated and echoed through the room. Loki moved his hand as if to brush away your tears, but he froze mid-way.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

His hand dropped and he turned away. Your breath caught in your throat, but you refused to back down. You stifled your sobs.

“So help me to. I just want to help.”

“You can’t.”

There is a moment of silence before he speaks again.

“I have to prove I am worthy of the throne on my own.”

You let out a soft sigh before slowly walking up to him.

“But you are not alone.”

You raised your hand and carefully touched his arm. He flinched but did not pull away.

“A true king will rely on his people for guidance and strength. You have me, and your mother, even Thor to help you. You don’t have to do this alone.” 

You felt him tense a little, but he still didn’t move.

“I never intended for this to happen.”

It was the same words he spoke in the library. You figured he had something to do with the Jotunheim incident and you made a note in your mind to scold him about his scheming later, but for now, you wanted to be here for him. 

“I kno- “

“But I will not fail now. I will be a great king, the best Asgard has ever seen.”

Your hand slowly dropped. He turned to you. His demeanor changed completely, and you were suddenly aware of the coldness radiating from him. 

“I will prove to Odin that I was more worthy than Thor had ever been.”

You slowly backed away. _This can’t be Loki. This is some trick. Some illusion._ You dared look him in the eye, but all sense of emotion was gone. _It is a trick, an illusion._ You took a step forward raising your hand in one swift movement.

“Snap out of it Loki!”

Your hand moved forward but was caught halfway to its target. 

“And I will not let anyone get in my way.”

You stared in shock at your wrist being held in place by Loki’s hand. Your eyes quickly darted to his, still emotionless as before. _It’s not an illusion…it’s really him._ You felt a tingle in your wrist and noticed a light begin to fill the room. You both tore your eyes back to your hands. Loki’s hand had turned ice blue and began to freeze to your wrist, in-kind your hand had been engulfed in flames. You both broke away taking a few steps back. You glanced down at your wrist; a slight imprint of Loki’s hand still present. You chanced a look at him. He was examining his hand as well; from what you could tell he wasn’t burnt. _So it’s true, we really can’t hurt each other._ You glanced down at your wrist again and the imprint of Loki’s hand began to fade away.

“I wish to be alone.”

His voice was different this time, he sounded tired. You didn’t know what to do anymore, you had nothing left to say. You slowly turned and headed towards the door. You paused before opening the door turning your head back to get one last look at him. Your eyes caught his and for a moment it was like you were looking into the eyes of that scared little boy from the dungeon. But in an instant that was gone, replaced with a stoic emptiness. You turned back and exited the room.


	34. You can't save everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warning** Maybe...kinda gets dark there for a second. Nothing too crazy but don't want to trigger anyone who possibly is depressed or has thoughts of suicide. SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER!! 
> 
> Okay rant over, the next 2...maybe 3 chapters...idk yet won't really have Loki. Kinda the build-up to the end of the first Thor movie. So yeah...going to be angsty. 
> 
> Also kinda a long one lol, went alot longer than i thought it would. My bad. Nextone will probably be short...unless I combine the next two....and now I'm rambling. Anyways sit back and enjoy :)

You wandered absentmindedly through the halls trying to register everything that just happened. Loki’s emotionless eyes flashed through your memory. You closed your eyes, shaking your head trying to forget the sight. _That couldn’t have been Loki…right?_

“My Lady?”

You ignored the voice.

“My Lady?!”

You felt hands grab your shoulders and give you a soft shake. But you ignored it further.

“My Lady you need to stop!”

You felt the hands pull away and something cold press against your throat.

“Don’t make me hurt you!”

You finally snapped out of your trace and were met with a terrified looking guard holding a spear to your throat. You stumbled back a step and finally felt the heat against your cheek. You turned to your right and let out a gasp. One of the hanging tapestries was fully engulfed in flames. 

“No…”

The soft plea barely left your lips. You glanced down to your hands which were also engulfed in flames. You began to shake. You didn’t even realize you were using your power. 

“My Lady!”

Your head snapped back to the guard who you realized was shaking as well. His spear was still pointed at you, but his eyes darted from yours to your hands, to the tapestry then finally behind you. A shiver went through your spine as you turned around. You lost your breath. Numerous tapestries, plants, and tables were fully ablaze. You dropped to the ground, your hands finally extinguishing. You heard footsteps in the distance. More guards you assumed, probably here to throw you in the dungeon or finally exile you. The thought normally sent a wave of fear through you, but this time you were numb, just staring at the flames taking over the hall. _I would deserve it. In the end, I couldn’t save him._

“W—er!”

“Wh-r- th- bu—ets?!”

“It- spr--ding to f-st!!”

The muffled screams grew louder as the flames grew. You thought of running, of hiding, but you were frozen in place. You could hear the commotion grow around you as more guards entered the hall.

“It- no- go-ng -ut!”

“Kill her!”

Those words finally got your attention. Your body tensed but refused to move. _Maybe it would be better this way._ You focused on the flames now fully engulfing the hall. _Maybe the fire would finally die. Maybe I would..._ You felt a guard hesitantly creep up behind you and waited for the spear to fall. You wondered what death would finally feel like. It couldn’t be worse than what you were feeling now. You took a breath, hoping that it would at least be quick. You waited. One second. Two seconds. The spear never came. Instead, you felt a soft hand on your shoulder and a familiar face come into view.

“it’s okay. I’m here now.”

Frigga’s voice was as calm as always.

“I will not let them hurt you.”

Your body began to shake.

“Everything will be alright.”

You couldn’t take it anymore. With one swift movement, you batted her hand away and stood up stumbling towards the flame.

“No, it won’t!”

The flames engulfed your hands again swiftly moving up your arms to your elbows.

“Everything won’t be alright!”

Frigga slowly stood up a calm expression on her face. She took a step towards you but you backed farther into the burning hall. 

“I couldn’t-“

Your voice caught in your throat and you finally realized you were crying.

“I couldn’t stop him.”

You took in a sharp breath.

“I can’t do anything right.”

Your sobs grew quicker to the point you were almost hyperventilating. The flames on your arms grew more completely covering your upper arms and inching towards your shoulders, higher than you ever let them climb before.  
Frigga half turned to the guards motioning them to leave the area. They gave her a questioning look, but she repeated the motion and they slowly left the room. She turned back to you and you could finally see the sadness on her face. But surprisingly no fear.

“Sweetie, it is not up to you to fix everything. That would not be fair.”

She took a step closer to you, you remain rooted in place.

“I should not have made that request of you. I am sorry.”

She took another step and reached out a hand to you. You flinched back.

“This is not your fault. You can not be blamed for the actions of others.”

Those words resonated with you. It was the same thing you said to Loki.

"We were friends. I…I should have been able to help him.”

You caught a look of what seemed like pity cross her face.

“Sweetie, it is not up to you to save everyone. Some must be allowed to make mistakes, to realize their errors on their own.”

You thought about her words. _But w_ _hat if Loki didn’t realize his mistakes until it was too late. What if his ambition consumes him entirely? I can’t lose him!_ As if reading your thoughts Frigga took one more step towards you, raising an arm to shield herself from the heat.

“If they could not see the error of their ways on their own, then there was no way you could save them in the first place. It hurts to see the ones you love lose themselves, but all you can do is wait and be there for them when they finally ask for help.”

You looked into her eyes, there was no sense of lying or deceit. Instead, you saw sadness, powerlessness. You realized she was hurting as much as you were, unable to help her own son. You took a deep breath and the flames on your arms dwindled down to your hands and your sobs slowly came to a stop.

“I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing to apologize for.”

Frigga turned to look around the room and you followed her gaze. The fire had spread to all the walls and columns and was making its way to a nearby garden. She turned back to you, a serious look on her face.

“We can talk about this more later."

Her expression softened into a playful smirk.

"Now, its time for a lesson.”

“What?!”

You thought you misheard her or maybe the smoke inhalation was going to her head. 

“This is not the time for that. You have to get out of here!”

She didn’t move just pointed to the garden.

“That is my favourite garden. I would rather it not burn down.”

You stood staring at her. She’s lost her mind.

“This fire started from your flames.”

She moved her finger to point at you.

“Therefore, these are still your flames. You should still be able to control them.”

She had a point and maybe if this was a normal training session with a tiny candle flame you could control it. But right now? With flames this big? There was no way you could control it. Anxiety began to build up in you again and the flames in your hands once again raged out of control.

“(Y/N). (Y/N)!” 

You flinched, your eyes meeting hers.

“I would not ask you to do this if I did not think you were ready.”

She gave you a small smile. 

“Focus on the flames in your hands.”

You looked down at your hands. The flames danced around your fingers. 

“Now close your eyes.”

You raised your head to meet her gaze again, giving her a questioning look.

“Trust me.”

You slowly nodded your head and closed your eyes.

“Do you feel the flames in your hands?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now focus. Can you feel the flames around you?”

You scrunched your eyes closed tighter. _The flames around me?_ You envisioned the room around you. You felt the heat radiating around you. _The flames._ You focused on the heat coming in waves. _Flames._ You slowly began to make out small sparks mixed into the heat. You concentrated more, focusing on the sparks. Gradually the sparks grew into tiny embers, then into larger flames. You squeezed your eyes closed even harder keeping focus on the flames dancing around the room. 

“I think I see them.”

“Good. Now envision the flames on your hands connecting to the ones in the room.”

You slowly raised your hands up and stretched them out to the side. You pictured the flames in your hands stretching out to the ones in the room connecting to them like ribbons. 

“Okay. Now what?”

“Now extinguish the flames in your hands.”

You took a deep breath and felt the flames in your hands slowly dwindle. Normally it was easy to extinguish the flames in your hand but this time you felt resistance. You felt the panic begin to rise.

“These are your power (Y/N). Do not let them control you.”

 _She’s right. These are my powers. Mine. They do as I say!_ You took another deep breath in and clenched your fists as you breathed out. The flames quickly dispersed into small sparks before disappearing into the air.

“Well done sweetie.”

You slowly opened one eye and glanced around the room. Nearly everything had been burned or charred but there wasn’t a flame in sight.

“No way.”

You breathed out and fell to the floor. 

“I did it.”

“Yes, you did.”

Frigga came into view, her face beaming with pride.

“I’m so proud of you…”

Her words seemed to disappear into nothingness as the edges of your vision went dark. _Damn._ You felt your body get heavy and the all too familiar headache rise to the surface. Your body began to tip back and you waited for the impact of the floor but it never came.


	35. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapter is alittle short but the next few are going to be long ones so wanted to get this out here today and I will probably finish up the events of the first Thor movie tomorrow. This one ends on kinda a cliff hanger so if you want to wait till I get the next chapter(s) out tomorrow be my guest :)
> 
> Also no Loki in this chapter, that is coming soon, trust me, its going to be a ride haha.
> 
> Finally, the events of this chapter aren't like 'canon' but aren't not canon as we don't really see this part in the movies...it will make sense later i promise haha.
> 
> Anyways enjoy this prequel to the finale of the first Thor movie.

_Cold. Why is it cold?_ You pulled the sheets around you tighter, trying to keep in as much of your body heat as you could. _Wait? What?_ Your eyes shot open a decision you instantly regretted as you were met with an instant headache. You slammed your eyes shut again but from the few moments you had them open you gathered you were back in your bedroom. You sat silently for a few moments waiting for the headache to subside before slowly opening your eyes again. This time you gave them time to adjust to your surroundings. You were correct, you had been placed back in your bedroom but there wasn’t a single person around. You slowly sat up, looking towards the balcony.

Night had fallen, but that didn’t really help you decipher how long you had been passed out this time. You moved to exit the bed another decision you instantly regretted. Your feet hit the floor instantly sending a shiver up your spine. The floor was as cold as ice. You immediately tucked your feet back under the covers. _This can’t be good._ You glanced around the room nothing really seemed out of place, minus the intense cold. _I need to figure out what’s going on._ You took a deep breath, deciding to save your power for now and just brave the cold. You threw the sheets off you, the brisk air instantly attacking your bare legs. You realized you had been stripped of most of your armour leaving you only in your bare tunic. You quickly hopped along the floor to your wardrobe, throwing on some leggings and boots. You stepped towards the bedroom door but paused, returning to the wardrobe to throw on your leather training armour and tucking a knife in each boot. _Just in case._ You quickly made your way to your bedroom door, reaching your hand out to push the door. _Ice?_ Your hand paused inches away from the door. Ice was beginning to creep through the crack of the door. _What the hell?_ Countless thoughts rushed through your head, each more disturbing than the last. Goosebumps began to crawl up your skin as the ice crept further through the door. You took in a sharp breath. _Screw this!_ You lit a flame in your still outstretched hand and launched it at the door. The ice began to crack, you took your chances and threw your body against the door. The door held in place for a moment but then you heard a distinct crack and the doors fell open. You stumbled to the floor, shards of ice tumbling alongside you. You groaned, the force of the impact causing your shoulder to go numb, but you ignored it. You slowly rose to your feet and surveyed the hallway. _Where is everyone?_ The hallway was completely deserted. You slowly began to walk down the hallway, your pace increasing with every step. _This can’t be right. What the hell is going on?!_

You quickly made your way out to a courtyard overlooking the rest of the city. _No one!_ Your hands began to shake as you looked down at the city. There wasn’t a single person in sight. Rather there wasn’t a single living creature in sight. You bit your lip trying to think of an explanation. _Maybe I’m still sleeping?_ You bit down on your lip harder. A tiny trickle of blood dripped down your chin, but the city remained the same. _Maybe they all left me. Maybe they sent me to some parallel universe as punishment!_ You felt the fear rising and clenched your fists trying to stay calm. _No! There must be some explanation! An Illusion maybe._ You surveyed the city again, trying to catch something you hadn’t before. _It must be some sort of magic._ You knew you were giving yourself false hope, but you had to have a little faith. You stood there for what seemed like hours when your eyes finally caught it. The rainbow bridge and familiar golden building simmered on the horizon. You turned dashing towards the castle entrance. _If anyone could see through an illusion it was Heimdall._

You forced your body to ignore the blast of cold as your feet finally landed on the rainbow bridge. You were now in a full sprint and your breathing was getting heavy. You felt a prickling pain in your lungs, but you ignored that as well. _I just need to get to Heimdall and everything will be okay._ You forced your body to somehow go even faster as the entrance of the building was nearly in view. _Just a few more…_ The entrance to the Bifrost came into view and your body came to a complete stop.


	36. The Bifrost Pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out to be a hell of a lot longer than I anticipated so I'm breaking it up into 2 parts. The first part will not have Loki the second part will. Not sure if I'll get the second part up tonight, might be tomorrow we shall see. It is intense so I want to get it right haha
> 
> ***Also changed some of the circumstances of this chapter so that it fits the story better. Nothing too dramatic but sometimes things will have to change from the movies to fit you in, hope that's okay. I try to stick to it as closely as possible.***

_It’s not possible._ You stood frozen in place. The entrance to the Bifrost lay just 20 meters ahead of you but you couldn’t force yourself forward. _It’s an illusion...right?_ In front of you stood Heimdall, completely frozen in ice. On either side of him stood a Frost Giant, their eyes locked on you. _What’s happening?_ Without realizing your feet began to move backwards, retreating down the rainbow bridge. _Stop._ Your body was not obeying. _What are you doing?!_ Your feet continued to move backward. _I said stop._ Your body finally obeyed coming to a stop now 30 meters away from the Bifrost entrance. _Illusion or not, I cannot leave Heimdall._ Your eyes moved to focus on Heimdall, his position looked like he was frozen while attacking the Frost giants, something you did not doubt they had the powers to do. But there had to be a way to get him out, to unfreeze him. _He can't be dead...right?_ As if sensing your question you noticed the slightest twitch in Heimdall's eyes. _He is alive!_ Okay, I just need to take out these two and I can save him. Your eyes shifted between the two Frost Giants, both at least double if not triple your size. You knew your flames had little to no effect on them, and as for weapons, all you had were two small knives. _I'm screwed._ Your hands began to shake as you felt another blast of cold hit your face. The Frost Giants seemed to sense your hesitationand took advantage of it, both beginning to charge at you forming swords of ice in their hands. _Snap out of it!_ You clenched your fists and a burst of flames erupted from both, hitting the ground with force before dissipating. The act seemed to startle the giants who came to a quick stop about 10 meters away. 

“Weak flames like that will not be able to save him.”

That did it. All the fear you had felt was instantly replaced with rage. You quickly grabbed the knives out of your boot and began running towards them in a full sprint. You refused to lose someone else important to you. The one Frost Giant was posed ready for the attack, the other however still seemed puzzled by flames a few moments ago. You took that to your advantage and made a slight turn for him. You tossed a knife in his direction. He snapped out of the trace in time for him to raise his sword to deflect the knife. _Perfect._ You gave a slight smirk, with his sword raised, you were blocked from his view. You took the chance to dive between his legs, quickly popping up on the other side and jumping on his back driving your other knife into his neck. The Giant let out a low growl and lurched forward causing you to be tossed from his back onto the rainbow bridge. You rolled a few times before regaining your footing, and not a moment too soon. The other Giant stood over you, sword raised. You quickly rolled out of the way of the first swing, however could not regain your balance quickly enough to dodge the second one. The tip of the sword caught your side opening a small gash. You quickly stumbled out of reach, clutching your side. _Not good._ Normally your powers make up for your lack of fighting skills, but they were useless against them. Your eyes darted between the two Giants. The one you got with your knife was face down on the bridge, your knife was still in his neck but ice began to cover the blade. You knew there was no getting it out. Your eyes flicked back to the Giant in front of you who seemed to be sizing you up as well. _No weapons, no fire..._ You bit your lip, trying to think of a way out of this, but the other frost giant had enough. He dashed towards you an ice sword in each hand now. _Damn._ You waited for the swing of the first sword ducking out of its way, but the second sword came in too quick. You tried to pull away but it caught your cheek opening a gash just under your eye. You stumbled back again but the swings kept coming. You tried to stay on your feet, keeping out of the way of most of the blows and taking as little damage as possible from the ones you couldn’t. The Frost Giant seemed to get annoyed with your swiftness, instead of swinging his sword he broke it off and threw it in your direction. The action caught you off guard, you raised your arms blocking the back of the sword from hitting you in the face, but the impact knocked you to the ground. You quickly tried to scramble to your feet but you were weighed down by something on your chest. It took you a moment to realize what was happening, the Frost Giant had you pinned, with one foot on your chest he held you against the ground.

“You will not be able to  dodge now.”

He brought his remaining sword up, a smirk appearing on his face. You grabbed his foot trying to squirm your way out from under him. He gave off a sharp chuckle. You began to panic. You grabbed his leg on either side and summoned as much fire as you could muster. The giant flinched lifting his leg a bit, you took the chance to wiggle out from under him but were cut short by a heavy blow to your stomach. You gasped, the air left your lungs and you could taste blood in your mouth. Your vision was covered with stars but you could see the anger on the Giant's face as he rubbed his foot harder into your stomach. You tried to scream but nothing came out. You tried to bring your hands up again but your body refused to move, your arms falling limp at your sides. You heard a crack in the distance and figured the giant was strengthening the ice on his sword for the final blow, but you couldn’t see a thing. You took a breath waiting for the blade to strike, waiting for the end, when you felt something wash over you.  _ I won’t.  _ You took a deep breath.  _ I can’t.  _ Your arms began to move, your hand brushing against something on the ground.  _ I refuse to die like this!  _ Your hand wrapped around the familiar object bring it up in front of you. Your other hand met it, a flame erupting between the two. You heard a clang as the Giant's sword hit your knife. The impact sent a shock wave through both your arms but you kept them up. You heard the Giant growl as he applied more pressure to the sword and in turn, applied more weight to his foot holding you down. The taste of blood once again filled your mouth but you refused to give in.  _ I’ll save you Heimdall! _ The flame on your knife grew larger as you began to push back against the Giant's sword. 

“Enough.”

The Giant's low voice sounded almost annoyed. You felt some give on your knife and began to push back more before you realized what had happened. Through your flames, you saw the Giant bring up his other arm, a blade of ice forming over his hand. 

“No.”

The soft gasp left your lips as you stared down the other blade coming for your throat, unable to block it. 

“No!”

You screamed it this time, closing your eyes and willing the blade to disappear. You heard another loud crack followed by a thud and the pressure on your stomach disappeared.  _ Am I dead? _

“(Y/N).”

You heard a familiar voice and felt a firm grip on your shoulder. You opened your eyes and caught familiar gold  armour peeking through your flames. 

“Heimdall.”

The name came out as barely a whisper. The flames around your knife slowly dissipated and your eyes caught the body of the remaining giant in two pieces just past your feet. Your gaze shifted back to Heimdall, bits of ice falling from the Bifrost sword in his hand. Your knife clattered to the floor as you  threw your arms around the man, tears beginning to fall down your cheeks. 

“You saved me!”

You felt a hand on your back give you a soft hug.

“No, you saved me. Are you alright?”

You pulled away from him. Your stomach and chest were throbbing but other than that the rest of your wounds had begun to heal. 

“I should be asking you that.”

You gave him a once over, no noticeable injuries, but being frozen like that could not have been good. 

“Let me heal you.”

“There will be time for that later.”

Heimdall began to stand up but quickly stumbled, a sight you had never seen before. You quickly moved to his side helping him to stand.

“ You shouldn’t move.”

“The Bifrost. Thor.”

His eyes were fixed on the Bifrost as he attempted to step forward, falling again. You knew he needed to be healed as soon as possible but you also knew he wouldn’t let that happen until he had completed his task. 

“Okay.”

You dropped down beside him, throwing one arm over your shoulders and helping him to stand. The effort sent a sharp pain through your stomach but you ignored it, focusing on the Bifrost ahead of you. The two of you stumbled forward, you taking most of the weight on one side and the Bifrost sword taking the weight on the other. You tried to heal him while you were moving but the pain in your stomach made it impossible to focus. _Just get to the Bifrost. Then I can heal him._ You felt your body slowly grow heavy but forced your feet forward. _Almost there._ You passed the entrance to the Bifrost, as the taste of blood entered your mouth one more time. _Just a few more steps._ You reached the bottom of the steps and slowly began to climb. Stars entered your vision but you shook them away. _We can do this._ You reached the top of the stairs. Heimdall barely managed to lift the sword into its place turning it with one swift motion as he stumbled to the floor. You tried to hold him up but your body gave out and you collapsed with him. All the pain you had been suppressing hit you at once and you rolled over coughing up a mouth full of blood. You tried to focus on your breathing as you heard the electricity began to build around you as the Bifrost powered up. _Just stay conscious. You’ll be fine. You need to heal Heimdall. So just stay awake._ You focused on your breathing trying to keep yourself from passing out. Heavy footfalls began to fill the room, causing you to slowly raise your head. A familiar red cape filled your sight. _Thank the gods._


	37. The Bifrost pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the sort of conclusion of the first Thor movie. (there will be a short chapter tomorrow) This was an intense one I had to rewrite like 6 times lol But I hope you like the final result. It's the final showdown between you and Loki, tears will be shed, blood will be spilled, ships will be sunk (just kidding everything will sort itself out...eventually...)
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoy. Like I said things will kinda be wrapped up in what i hope is a short chapter tomorrow haha so if you have questions I promise they will be answered then :)

“Take them to the healing room.” 

You recognized Thor’s voice and the flutter of his cape as he flew towards the castle. You heard some shuffling and Lady Sif’s face entered your vision. She moved beside you and helped prop you up against the stairs. You felt an arm reach under you but you pushed her away. 

“No.” 

Sif looked at you, concern on her face. 

“I can… heal him...You need...to help Thor.” 

You turned to the others who were awkwardly trying to hoist Heimdall between the three of them. 

“Go...all of you. He will need...all the help he can get.” 

You were still trying to catch your breath but the coughing had at least stopped.

“(Y/N), are you sure-” 

“We’ll be fine Sif,” You turned back to her trying to put on your most reassuring face, “go help Thor.” 

Sif turned to the other warriors and gave them a swift nod. You heard some shuffling then felt a presence next to you. Sif gave you one last nod before turning towards the bridge and breaking into a sprint. You heard the clang of metal and the other three entered your vision following Sif down the rainbow bridge. _Please be safe._ You didn’t know if that wish was more for them or Loki, but you somehow wished they would all return to you safe.

“You have done all you could.”

A voice snapped you out of your thoughts, your head turning to meet Heimdall’s all-knowing gaze.

“It’s up to him now.”

You felt a hint of sadness wash over you but you pushed it down, focusing instead on the task ahead of you. Your pain had almost all faded so you shifted your weight to your knees, and turned to face Heimdall. His face was calm but sweat trickled down his forehead. You gave him a once over. On the surface he seemed fine, there were no visible injuries, no cuts, no bruises, but you knew something was definitely wrong. You raised your hands to his chest but froze, a thought finally occurring to you.

“I don’t know if it will work.”

You meant to keep the thought in your head but it left your lips anyways. Heimdall gave you a questioning look and you gave a dejected sigh.

“The wounds I normally heal I can see. But, from what I can tell there is nothing wrong with you. But I know that there is.”

Your hands began to shake, healing an injury like this was completely foreign to you.

“It will be alright. Just try your best.”

You felt a heavyweight fall on your hands and realized Heimdall was holding them to keep them from shaking.

“I have faith in you.”

Your eyes met his, reassurance washing over you. _He’s right, you can do this. It’s a wound like any other, just focus on the healing._ You took a deep breath. Heimdall released your hands and you moved them to hover just over his head and chest. _Just focus on healing._ You took another deep breath as you felt your power take over. This time it was different, with nothing to focus on you released your power into his entire body. _Just fix him as you fix me._ You felt silly talking to your power as if it was its own person but it was the only thing you could think of. Your power healed you without you even willing it or even realizing it sometimes. You might not know exactly what was wrong with Heimdall but your power would, and your power could fix it. You felt your body weaken, your arms began to grow heavy and your vision hazy.

“(Y/N).”

The voice sounded distant. You felt a heavyweight on your hands once more as they were pushed back towards you. The motion broke your concentration and your powers diminished.

“I will be fine now. Focus on yourself.”

Heimdall’s voice was clearer this time. Your vision began to return and you could tell he wasn’t lying. His face looked less pale and he had stopped sweating. _It worked?_ You looked at your hands, half amazed, half doubting. You turned your gaze back to Heimdall.

“Are you sure?”

Heimdall gave you a swift nod and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Thank goodness.”

You moved back to slump against the stairs. Your body was heavy but all your pain had disappeared. With the threat of losing Heimdall gone your thoughts drifted back to Loki. You absentmindedly turned your head towards the castle in the distance.

“You did everything you could.”

The words once again caused you to turn to Heimdall.

“Loki’s mind has become cloudy, his ambition and fear have taken over. I fear no one can get through to him now.”

Fear and guilt took over you.

“No, there has to be a way.”

Heimdall locked eyes with you, sadness written on his face.

“Were you aware he was the one behind the first Frost Giant attack?”

You froze. You had your suspicions but nothing concrete.

“He knows of ways off Asgard even I cannot see and can cloak himself even to my eyes.”

You could hear the guilt in his voice. You tried to take in everything he was saying but a part of you still refused to believe it. You turned away glancing once again at the castle.

“It can’t be. Even he wouldn’t do that.”

You heard Heimdall sigh as if irritated with you.

“Were you aware he sent the Destroyer to Midgard to kill Thor?”

Your heart stopped.

“Thor was able to get most of the Midgardians to safety, however, the destroyer devastated their city.”

There was a pause but you didn’t respond. Thoughts of the old Loki filling your mind, you refused to believe he was capable of any of this.

“I am not telling you all this to turn you against him. But you must realize, the Loki you knew is gone. You will have to accept that one day.”

_I can’t give up on him! He never gave up on me!_

“And that day might come sooner than you would like.”

You finally turned to face Heimdall, but he was looking towards the castle. You turned back trying to match his gaze. All you saw was the endless rainbow bridge with the castle glimmering in the distance. You turned back to Heimdall, his eyes were fixed on the bridge as he tried to stand but stumbled back to the stairs. You quickly moved your arms around him, shifting him back to lean against the stairs.

“You shouldn’t move. It will still take time for your body to fully recover.”

“We do not have time.”

You caught his eyes but it was if he was looking through you. You turned to once again look down the bridge, this time noticing something moving in the distance.

“What is-?”

You cut yourself off finally making out what Heimdall was seeing. Familiar golden horns came into view.

“You must stop him.”

You felt a hand on yours, but you couldn’t look away.

“(Y/N).”

Your name snapped you out of your trance and you turned to Heimdall.

“You must stop him.”

You felt your hands begin to shake but Heimdall squeezed them tight.

“He is not the same boy you met in the dungeon. He will destroy everything.”

Your chest felt tight.

“I can’t.”

“You must.”

You heard hooves in the distance grow louder. He was nearly at the entrance of the Bifrost, but you sat frozen like the little girl in the dungeon all those years ago. Heimdall gave a soft sigh, squeezing your hands tight before letting go. You went numb, countless thoughts and memories running through your head. _When did he change? Why couldn’t I see it? Why couldn’t I help? Heimdall had to be wrong. Loki couldn’t have done those things._ The final thought echoed in your mind and something finally clicked. You felt Heimdall shift beside you and heard a soft grunt. Your hand instinctively reached out, softly forcing him back down. Your breathing had slowed to its regular pace as you rose from the stairs. You felt Heimdall’s eyes on you as you moved towards the entrance of the Bifrost coming to a stop just inside the entrance. You could make Loki out fully now, riding a horse, green cape flowing in the wind, Gungnir in hand. You took a deep breath, strengthening your resolve. Loki seemed to notice your presence as the horse slowed coming to a stop next to the dead Frost Giants that remained on the bridge. Loki’s eyes locked with yours a look of disbelief on his face quickly replaced by one of annoyance. He swiftly dismounted his horse, his eyes finally breaking from yours to observe the Frost Giants on the floor. He quickly aimed the spear at both Giants, a burst of energy erupting from the edge. The energy hit the Giants causing them to turn to dust. You flinched. The Giants had attacked you, but you and Heimdall had taken care of them, there was no reason to completely obliterate them. You pulled your eyes away from where the Giants once lay and realized Loki once again had his gaze fixed on you, however, this time there was not a trace of emotion in his eyes. A shiver went down your spine. He slowly made his way towards the Bifrost, and you found yourself absentmindedly taking steps backward. Your resolve wavered, the Loki in front of you wasn’t the one you remembered, there was no kindness, no compassion. Your feet hit the first stair, you finally came to a stop. Loki strutted through the entrance of the Bifrost coming to a stop a few meters in front of you.

“I need you to move (Y/N).”

Hearing your name from him sounded wrong, like a stranger saying it.

“No.”

Your voiced surprised yourself.

“Move.”

“No.”

You responded again, this time stronger. A flash of anger appeared on his face, but it disappeared in an instant.

“Do you really want to do this?”

The playful voice you knew so well sent a sharp pain through your chest.

“I don’t know what you have planned, but you need to stop Loki.”

“Stop? Why? I’m doing this for Asgard.”

“You’re hurting people Loki!”

Your voice was louder than intended, Loki took half a step back as if surprised and gave you a questioning look.

“I know about the Giants and Midgard!”

Loki’s eyes darted to Heimdall and back then back to you.

“I was just doing what needed to be done.”

His voice was calmer now, which in turn calmed you down slightly.

“You hurt innocent people Loki.”

The words caused Loki to flinch. You thought for a second you finally got through to him, but that hope quickly disappeared.

“No, they were merely weak and in the way. The fault is their own.”

You couldn’t believe the words coming from him. You both stood staring each other down for what felt like hours.

“I will ask again, move aside.”

You were still frozen in place, hoping, praying that a smirk would appear on his face and he would play this off as a joke but the moment never came.

“Why?”

Loki cocked his head slightly to the side as if trying to understand your question.

“Why do you need me to move? What use do you have for the Bifrost?”

A smirk finally appeared on his face, but this one was far darker than you had ever seen.

“I wish to destroy Jotunhiem.”

His tone was so matter-of-fact. There was no hesitation or uncertainty in his voice.

“What?”

You had to have misheard. There was no way that could have been right.

“I will destroy Jotunhiem, and that race of monsters along with it.”

You could hear the anger rise in his voice as he took a few more steps towards you. You felt Heimdall attempt to move, but you stepped in front of him, shielding him from Loki.

“There is no such thing as a race of monsters. You taught me that.”

“You defend them after everything they have done to you, to Asgard?”

“A few lone attackers does not make the entire race monsters.”

You tried to remain calm and keep your powers in check but Loki seemed to be poking every one of your buttons.

“You were there, they jumped at the chance for war!”

“A chance you gave them!”

You were practically screaming at each other now but neither of you made the first move.

“Move aside!”

“No!”

Flames coated your clenched fists causing Loki to take a step back. Eyes jumping from your hands back to you.

“You know I’ll win.”

The once playful words were like a stake to the heart.

“And I won’t go down without a fight.”

Your response did not carry the same bravado it once did. Loki gave a small mocking laugh.

“Ah, but now I know your flames will be useless against me. And it seems you lack any weapon. I do not foresee much of a fight.”

Loki readied his spear but you knew he was right. Your knives were gone and your flames were useless, your only hope was to get up close and use your fists. As if sensing your thoughts Loki produced enough duplicates to fill the room, each one staring you down with lifeless eyes. You tried to distinguish the real Loki but without getting close they all seemed the same. _Fine then. If it’s a fight you want it’s a fight you’ll get._ You took a deep breath, extinguishing the flames in your hands, and darted towards the nearest Loki. The quick motion caught him off guard and you took the chance to hit him with a right hook to the jaw. Your hand passed right through as the duplicate disappeared.

“Honestly, I’m disappointed. You think I would really come that close.”

Loki’s mocking voice filled the room, only adding to the anger inside you. You quickly pivoted, this time darting past two duplicates towards a Loki that lay near the perimeter of the room. This time he was prepared and raised his spear as if to attack. You quickly dropped low, sweeping his legs out from under him and slamming your foot into his chest for good measure. The duplicate disappeared as your foot collided with the ground.

“Fancy footwork there but how long can you keep it up?”

Loki’s voice once again filled the room. _He has a point._ With all the energy you used up healing Heimdall as well as fighting the Giants earlier, you couldn’t fight all these duplicates. You took a breath, trying to think this through. _If I were Loki, where would I be?_ You glanced around the room, most of the Loki’s were placed near the entrance of the Bifrost, where the real Loki used to be. But there was no way he was there now. You continued to survey the room, the rest of the Loki’s were spread out pretty even, there was no recognizable pattern and none of them stood out. _Where would he hide?_ You tried to put yourself in the mind of Loki. _He wouldn’t hide. He would plan his next attack!_ You thought for a moment. _The Bifrost!_ You turned your gaze to the Bifrost. Three Loki’s were on the stairs, heading towards the sword. Two on the side you once were the other on the opposite. _There you are!_ You quickly raised your hands causing a wave of flames to shoot out ahead of you, taking out a few duplicates in the process. You used the distraction to quickly dash along the edge of the Bifrost moving towards the opposite side of the stairs. The distraction seemed to work as all of the Loki’s eyes were on the still burning duplicates. You swiftly climbed the stairs. _I’m sorry Loki._ Your hand formed into a fist and you aimed it directly at the Loki in front of you but it never connected. You felt a cold hand wrap around your wrist freezing you in place.

“I told you, I will always win.”

Loki’s voice came from beside you as almost a whisper. You turned your head towards the sound and locked eyes with Loki. His eyes were different this time, there was a hint of sadness and fear. It reminded you of when you were in the dungeon all those years ago, and you felt the urge to give him a hug but your thoughts were cut short by a sharp pain in your side. You let out a soft gasp, your eyes never leaving his.

“I’m sorry.”

You don’t know why you said that, you don’t know why you still felt the need to hold him in your arms and tell him everything would be okay, but you did. You watched a single tear fall down his cheek before everything went dark.


	38. Lithasblot pt.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so for obvious reasons Loki will not be in the next few chapters (have to build up to avengers). However...this is a Loki fanfic so he obviously needs to be in this haha my solution was to make some filler/fluff pieces that I will add to the actual timeline of the story so we still get some Loki wholesomeness to break up this angst lol
> 
> I tried to write it as clear as possible but if anyone is confused please see notes at the end of the NEXT chapter :)

The loud clang of metal on stone followed by the soft murmur of voices woke you from your slumber. Your eyes shooting open and quickly surveying your surroundings. The murmur of voices slowly faded but you remained frozen under your covers. The seconds ticked by but you were too scared to move. Another loud crash followed by some shuffling and raised voices, you began to shake, each unfamiliar sound sending you further into the sheets. You closed your eyes and covered your ears wishing everything to just disappear. A sharp knock on the door caused you to jump.

“My Lady?”

You froze.

“My Lady?”

Another knock. You held your breath. One second. Two seconds. You heard a soft shuffle than footsteps fading down the hall. You let out your breath be remained still. You heard some more muffled voices beyond the door, followed by more shuffling, then the halls fell silent. You waited a few seconds then poked your head out from under the sheets, surveying the room again, it was empty. You hesitantly crept out from under the covers, placing your bare feet on the floor and slowly moving towards the door. You placed a hand on the handle, taking a breath, and slowly pushing it open the tiniest bit. You peaked your head out to survey the still unfamiliar halls. Everything was still silent, there was not a being in sight.

You took a step out into the hall. It was different than usual, you still weren’t used to them but you could have sworn they were gold before, not red and orange. You walked up to a tapestry you could have sworn wasn’t there last night.

“You have finally awoken I see.”

The voice made you jump and you instinctively hid behind the tapestry.

“I apologize, I did not mean to scare you.”

The voice was softer now and you recognized it as Loki’s. You peaked your head out from behind the tapestry. Your eyes caught the boy who had his hands up as if showing he means no harm.

“I should have known better, you are still getting adjusted to the castle.”

You passed another glance around the halls and realized you were alone. You timidly stepped out from behind the tapestry.

“No, I shouldn’t be this jumpy.”

You once again locked eyes with Loki but he quickly turned away, a soft blush appearing on his cheeks.

“You should take care not to leave your room like that.”

Loki gestured towards your robes. You glanced down at your clothes, then back to him a confused look on your face.

“What do you mean?”

Loki refused to look in your direction.

“Those are night robes, they are not meant to be seen by anyone but yourself.”

The confusion never left your face. These robes were far more conservative than the ones you wore in the dungeon. You didn’t see the issue, but then again you weren’t used to the Asgardian ways yet.

“Uh…okay, I’ll go change then.”

“Yes, please do.”

Loki made sure to keep his eyes away as you quickly shuffled back to your room.

“The maids should have put out something for you.”

Loki half yelled as you closed the door to your room. _Left something out for me?_ You gazed around the room and realized a set of robes were hung in front of your wardrobe. They were different from the ones you normally wore, more extravagant. Where the robes you normally wore were mostly beige or white these were a fiery orange with gold embellishments. _Why would they want me to wear these?_ You hesitantly grabbed the robes and tried them on. _Wait how?_ You stood in your room, attempting to figure out how to wear these ridiculous robes. _There’s no place for my arms?_ You twirled around in the robes trying to figure out how get them to stay on with no sleeves. _I give up._ You took a deep breath, holding up the fabric as best as possible and walking to the door. You cracked it open a bit and saw Loki leaning against the opposite wall, his eyes focused on something down the hall. You quietly cleared your throat causing Loki to jump slightly before turning to you.

“You okay?”

He gave a questioning look at you standing behind the bedroom door. You froze biting your lip. You just realize how embarrassing this was.

“Come on, I’m losing my patience.”

Loki pushed himself off the wall and headed towards you.

“I…can’t figure out how to put it on…”

Your voice was barely a whisper but Loki came to a complete stop.

“What?”

“I don’t know how to wear this stupid thing!”

Your irritation finally boiled over as your voice filled the entire hall. Loki took a hesitant step back raising his hands in defense. You instantly regretted letting this stupid garment win.

“Sorry, I just, it’s too confusing.”

You tried to control the blush on your face but failed miserably. Loki gave a small chuckle followed by a soft sigh.

“Come here.”

“What!”

You locked eyes with him, your blush growing even more.

“The maids are busy and like I said I’m losing my patience.”

You refused to move, there was no way you were going out there like this. Loki seemed to sense your hesitation and let out another sigh.

“Fine.”

He swiftly walked into your room pulling the door closed behind him. You watched as he glanced around the room. You realized he had never actually come into your room before, he always waited for you to come out.

“Alright let’s see this impossible garment.”

You realized you had been lost in your thoughts and hadn’t noticed Loki turn to you. You instantly brought your arms up, holding the cloth tighter around your chest.

“It can’t be that hard.”

Loki began walking towards you. You watched his eyes study the robes trying to figure out how to fix it. He walked directly up to you grabbing a handful of the robes to examine. His eyes darted around the entire garment before locking eyes with you. A blush instantly formed on both of your cheeks and you both quickly turned away from each other. For a few moments, there was silence, then Loki cleared his throat.

“You have to tie it around your waist then over your shoulder.”

You hesitantly turned back to Loki who was still turned away but holding a piece of the robe up to you. You slowly took it from his hand and wrapped it around your waist before throwing it over your shoulder. _That makes more sense._ You evened out the edges before attempting to tie it off at your shoulder, however, you couldn’t reach.

“Loki…”

You heard him hum but he didn’t turn.

“I can’t reach, to tie off the shoulder.”

He slowly turned, you held up the two pieces that needed to be tied off to hold the robe up properly. Loki awkwardly cleared his throat. He took a step forward and held his hands out. You passed off the pieces to him.

“Turn around.”

You quickly obliged half turning for him to have a better view of wear to tie it off. You felt the cloth against your shoulder and the feeling of Loki’s cold hands as he tied it off. The sensation sent a soft shiver up your spine.

“There.”

You felt the cloth shift slightly before finally settling to a spot on your shoulder. You straightened the robe around you and slowly turned to Loki.

“Well…”

You still had no idea why you were wearing this ridiculous thing, but you had to admit, it was beautiful. Loki stood starring at you for what seemed like minutes before finally turning away.

“Not awful.”

You felt a pang in your chest, your smile fading, but a smirk quickly appeared on Loki’s face.

“Aw, don’t be like that, I was merely jesting.”

He reached out casually adjusting the knot on the shoulder slightly.

“You look lovely.”

You broke eye contact with him unable to control the blush or smile appearing on your face.

“Thank you.”

“Well, we best hurry now, before you make us late.”

Loki turned and headed towards the door. You followed him with your eyes but you still had no idea what was happening.

“Late for what?”

Loki didn’t stop only swiftly responded.

“Lithasblot.”

 _What?_ You had no idea what he was talking about. You watched him walk out the door and felt a sudden sense of loneliness. _Wait! No! Don’t leave me!_ Your vision started to turn hazy and you frantically ran towards the door he just exited from, but it was like you were frozen in place. You tried to scream for him to come back but no sounds left your lips. You began to panic, trying anything to get to him.

“(Y/N)?”

Your name echoed somewhere in the distance but your focus remained on the door. Your vision beginning to go dark.

“(Y/N)?!”

You felt a weight pushing you down and you desperately thrashed against it. _No. I can’t let him go._ You didn’t know why you were fighting so hard, why you felt that this was life or death, but at this moment it felt like was. Your vision was almost gone, the only thing remaining was the door handle, you desperately reached for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to look up some Norse mythology for this one. Might not be completely accurate as there was not a lot of information, but Lithasblot is apparently a harvest festival.


	39. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two chapters in one night! lol this one is sort so I figured I would just power through this.

“Loki!”

You shot up from your bed, the scream you tried to make for so long finally coming to the surface. Your breathing was heavy and you could feel sweat dripping down your neck. Your whole body was shaking but you made no effort to stop it, your mind still trying to process what had just happened.

“(Y/N).”

You heard your name again, this time softer and closer. A soft hand touched your back causing you to flinch.

“It’s okay sweetie.”

The familiar voice pulled you out of your panic and you turned to it. At first, you barely recognized her. Frigga normally had a sense of calm about her, you rarely saw intense emotions affect her, however, this was different. You could tell she was defeated, even more so than when she asked you to talk to Loki. The thought of him brought the panic back to you, your hands beginning to shake. Frigga merely took your hands in hers and held them there.

“It’s okay.”

She repeated that over and over again, you didn’t know if it was to convince you or her at this point. Your eyes were trained on her, trying to piece together what was happening. She slowly reached out a hand and brushed your cheek. You finally realized you were crying, and it all seemed to connect.

“He’s gone…isn’t he?”

Frigga gave you a sad look before softly nodding.

“I’m sorry….I tried.”

You let the tears take over and dropped your head. You felt Frigga move beside you and take you into her arms.

“No, no, sweetie, it’s okay. None of it is your fault.”

She held you close, gently rocking you back and forth, hushing you softly as if you were a baby.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, all you know was at the end you felt drained. The tears had finally stopped but you didn’t feel any better, you just felt numb.

“I had a dream about him.”

Your tone was lifeless, not for lack of caring, more so you had no more emotion to give.

“Tell me about it.”

Frigga’s tone matched yours, her hoarse voice making you realize she had been crying too.

“It was the first festival I celebrated here.”

“Lithasblot.”

Frigga’s tone raised slightly.

“It was the morning. I couldn’t figure out how to put on my robes.”

You gave a soft laugh.

“Loki helped me, but he made me feel like an idiot the entire time.”

Frigga chuckled.

“That sounds like him. But the fact that he helped at all showed he cared.”

“I tried to stop him from leaving, but-“

A sob cut you off as tears began to fall again. Frigga turned you to face her, her hands moving to rest on your cheeks. You finally saw that she was crying too, a sight you had never seen before.

“In times like these, we must remember the good. That does not mean we cannot feel the bad, merely we cannot let the bad control our lives. Understand?”

You gave a soft nod.

“Can we stay like this, just awhile longer?”

Frigga gave you a soft nod before once again taking you into her arms. You tried to focus on what she said, to remember the good, but each thought of Loki brought more tears to your eyes. You wished the pain you felt in your chest would disappear, that your power could heal that too, but you knew this pain would remain forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so if unclear at what happened
> 
> Loki stabbed you, your power instantly worked to heal you but due to your energy levels being low you passed out. (Currently, you don't know the specifics of what happened after, all you knew was Loki was gone.  
> After you passed out you had the dream, rather a memory of the first festival you attended after making Asgard your home.  
> Finally, you woke up in your room, no idea how much time has past since the incident at the Bifrost. (That will be sussed out in the next chapter)


	40. Lithasblot pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Lithasblot pt.1

“Litha…what?”

You quickly slipped on some sandals and chased him down the hall. He came to a stop near a balcony overlooking a courtyard before turning back to you.

“Lithasblot.”

He gave you a smile and motioned with his hand down to the courtyard. You hesitantly moved towards the balcony your eyes slowly moving from Loki to the balcony’s edge. As you neared the railing the sound of music and laughter began to fill your ears. You carefully peeked over the balcony. The courtyard was filled with people all in robes similar to yours. There was music and dancing and tables filled to the brim with various foods. You found you couldn’t look away from the sight. You had been to parties similar to these but you were always a servant, you never got to enjoy one like this.

“It is a marvelous sight, is it not?”

You finally managed to peel your eyes away from the party and turned to Loki who was leaning against the balcony looking down.

“It isn’t even the main event. The actual celebration is not until tomorrow.”

You turned your eyes back to the party.

“This is amazing.”

Your voice was filled with awe. You heard Loki chuckle beside you.

“It is something.”

“So this is why the halls were changed.”

“Yes, it is a rather large celebration for us. It celebrates the harvest of the year.”

Things seemed to click in your head.

“That explains the tapestry and all the orange.”

You gazed closer at the food on the tables. They all seemed to be fruits and vegetables that were just harvested. It was at that moment that the music came to an end. There was some soft clapping, then people began to disperse into smaller groups to talk amongst themselves.

“Well, what do you think?”

You turned back to Loki who was now facing you a soft smile on his face.

“It seems like a lively celebration.”

You gave him a genuine smile. Loki dropped his gaze slightly, his hands coming together in a gesture you were beginning to recognize. You gave him a moment.

“Would you like to attend?”

Loki’s eyes remained on his hands but his fingers stopped fidgeting as he asked the question.

“What?”

Loki finally looked up to you, the confidence from moments ago was gone, and he actually looked a tad bit nervous. _Cute._ You had to stifle a laugh at the adorableness of his face at that moment.

“The final celebration is tomorrow night, there will be a large dinner party with music and dancing. I was wondering if you would like to attend.”

You froze, thousands of emotions running through you. Loki seemed to sense your unease.

“It is not mandatory, if it would make you uncomfortable you have no obligation to attend.”

Loki gave you a smile but you could hear the disappointment in his voice. Thoughts battled in your head. You had never attended a party as a guest before, and you still were not used to Asgard. Since making a home here you had not attended any gatherings, in fact, you went out of your way to avoid meeting new people. The thought of being forced into a room with countless faces you did not recognize sent a chill up your spine. You bit your lip trying to sort through all the thoughts in your head.

“It is alright. I knew it would be a lot for you. So do not fret over it.”

You flinched slightly as you felt a cold hand pat your shoulder.

“Let’s get something to eat while we still can.”

Loki turned and began retreating down the hallway. You remained frozen for a moment but a force took over you.

“Wait!”

Your voice surprised yourself causing you to bring your hands up to cover your mouth. Loki flinched slightly before turning back to you a look of pure confusion on his face. You remained silent for a moment but then built up your nerve once more.

“Will you be there with me? At the party?”

You could see the realization dawn on Loki’s face as a small smirk appeared on his lips. He took a small step back before giving a small bow.

“I shall never leave your side.”

Your vision began to blur, but his words continued to echo in your head until everything went black.


	41. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, sorry this took so long but this chapter killed me. No matter how many times I re-wrote it I couldn't get it to where I wanted it, so I decided to just move on, no point fretting over it. So I apologize if it's not my best chapter. It's like I know where this needs to go but can't get it there. 
> 
> Side note, Heimdall is the real best father, Odin can suck it!

Your eyes drifted open and you found yourself staring at the ceiling of your room. You could feel the tears streaming down your cheeks but you refused to move. The events of the last memory still repeating in your head.

“Liar.”

Your tears began to fall heavier causing loose hairs to become stuck to your face at odd angles disrupting your vision. You didn’t move, letting the tears soak your face and pillow as you lay staring at the ceiling. You felt a strong breeze gust through the room, pulling the sheets from your feet. You grunted in frustration, sitting up in a huff and throwing the sheets back over you with way more force than necessary. You began to lay back down when another gust of wind wafted through the room sending the sheets from your feet again. Your irritation got the better of you. You threw the sheets off you and marched over to the open balcony. You grabbed a door in each hand motioning to slam them closed. But you froze, your hands falling from the doors. Your eyes caught the sight of the rainbow bridge, but something was wrong. You followed down the bridge but the familiar golden building at the end was gone, it was like the bridge was cut short. _What happened?_ You realized you hadn’t gotten the full story of what happened after you passed out, all you knew was that Loki was gone. You quickly turned, throwing on a cloak and some sandals, and exited your room heading for the castle entrance.

You had no idea how many people you passed as you marched through the castle and courtyards, your mind just focusing on the path ahead of you. You reached the entrance of the bridge and the wind picked up around you the familiar sound of rushing water filling your ears. You pulled the cloak tighter around you and pushed forward. You kept your gaze focused on the horizon as you moved across the bridge, however, the end of the bridge never seemed to appear. Your gaze dropped to your feet, which remained planted at the entrance of the bridge. You willed them forward, unto the bridge but they refused to comply. _Move._ Your feet stayed planted. _I said move._ You felt your hands begin to shake, you clutched the cloak tighter. _Move!_ You were practically screaming at your feet now but they remained still. You dropped to your knees, a frustrated yell escaping your lips. The cloak escaped your grip as your fists made contact with the bridge over and over again. You felt pain beginning to radiate through the sides of your palms but you kept beating the bridge, all the pain and frustration you felt fueling each blow. Drops of blood began to splatter along the bridge but still, you continued your beating as if the bridge was somehow responsible for everything happening, and beating it would somehow fix everything. Drops of water began to fall beside the blood and you realized, once again you were crying. You began to curse yourself for being weak, for being too emotional, for being inferior to everyone else. Your blows got more frantic with each negative thought going through your mind. _Stupid. Useless. Weak. Monster._ Your thoughts were cut short as your right hand refused to hit the bridge. You willed it to strike the bridge with more force than before, but it remained in its place just above your head. You tore your eyes away from the mess of blood and tears that lay on the bridge to your arm. Your eyes caught the gaze of another. It took you a moment to recognize him, no golden armor no helmet, but once you did shame instantly washed over you. Heimdall’s eyes were locked on yours as his hand held your wrist in place. Blood was dripping down your arm but your hand had already healed over.

“This will not change anything.”

You dropped your gaze, your arm falling with it. You stared at the bloody bridge unable to speak. _I know._ You sat there for minutes in silence, trying to think up some sort of apology, but nothing sounded right in your head. You heard a soft sigh.

“He never wanted to hurt you.”

His words pulled you from your thoughts and you timidly turned your gaze back to Heimdall. He looked towards the horizon, to where the Bifrost once stood.

“During your fight, there were numerous occasions he could have disposed of you, however, he did not act on any of them.”

You kept your eyes on him, trying to distinguish if he was lying. He never lied to you before, but maybe this was his way of sparing your feelings.

“He stabbed me, remember?”

You meant for the words to have more anger in them, yet, they just sounded sad.

“In the end, you discovered him, he had no choice.”

“He could have killed me.”

“Yet you live, as does every other Asgardian.”

You were really confused now, Heimdall never defended Loki before. As if reading your mind Heimdall spoke again.

“I shall never defend Loki, nor his actions. I am merely suggesting, that if he wanted to destroy Asgard or kill the both of us he had the opportunity, and yet did not act on it.”

Heimdall’s words filled you with a tiny sense of relief, a tiny shred of hope that your Loki was still in there somewhere. But once again that good feeling was consumed by the realization that you would never see him again. A tiny sob escaped your lips and you half expected to feel tears again, but nothing came.

“There had to have been something I could have done.”

Another sob, but still no tears.

“Something someone could have done.”

Your breathing grew quicker.

“He was my friend, I should have done something.”

You were basically gasping for air through your sobs, yet your cheeks remained dry. It was like your body had run out of water. You felt a soft pressure on your forehead and cheeks and shifted your gaze up. Heimdall was holding you gently in place, his hands cupping your cheeks and his forehead pressed gently against yours.

“Breathe.”

You closed your eyes, trying to control your breathing.

“Breathe.”

You focused on Heimdall’s words, trying to match your breathing with his. Slowly, your breathing returned to its normal pace and Heimdall pulled away.

“I’m sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize. You have had more than your fair share of hardships. One cannot expect you to be composed at all times.”

“Still…”

You hated how much all this was affecting you, how weak it made you look, how weak you really were. Heimdall moved to sit across from you, just past the entrance to the bridge.

“Moreover, this is nothing compared to Lady Frigga.”

There was a slight playfulness in his voice, you raised your eyes to meet his gaze, a questioning look on your face.

“She had devastated a few gardens before I could calm her.”

“No way…”

The image of the ever calm Frigga appeared in your mind, you could not picture her losing her cool like that.

“Granted she would deny everything if anyone asked.”

That got a small laugh from you, you noticed a small smile appear on his face. However, the uplifting mood didn’t last. No matter how hard you tried you could not hold back the question that was escaping your mind.

“What happened?”

Heimdall’s smile dropped as he gave you a questioning look.

“After…when I passed out?”

Heimdall took a deep breath before turning his gaze to the non-existent Bifrost. Your gaze followed his.

“He caught you before you fell, and laid you on the stairs. He turned to me and I prepared for a fight, but he simply turned away, realizing I was no threat in my current state. He activated the Bifrost and froze the energy causing it to build in an attempt to destroy the Jotunheim.”

Heimdall gave a soft sigh before continuing.

“That is when Thor arrived, attempting to talk Loki out of his plot. They engaged in a fight and I took the opportunity to get you to safety. I had carried you nearly halfway down the bridge when I heard the crack. I turned back to see the Bifrost collapsing with Thor and Loki still upon it. Our king arrived in time to save Thor. Alas, Loki fell.”

You took in a deep breath in an attempt to keep your emotions in check.

“Thor did all he could to save his brother, however, I believe Loki did not wish to be saved.”

A small sob escaped your lips but you regained your composure.

“I’m sorry, about the Bifrost.”

“The Bifrost was merely a part of my job. I am still a guardian of Asgard.”

You turned to Heimdall who was as stoic as ever, you wished you could one day be like him. To remain calm under any circumstance, to not let your emotions control you. Yet, you knew that was a far-off dream.

“I just wish he wasn’t alone at the end.”

“It may not have been the end.”

Your eyes instantly locked with his and you sensed his regret instantly. A harsh sigh left his lips and he turned away.

“Heimdall?”

He merely gazed off towards the horizon.

“Heimdall! What aren’t you telling me?!”

You were on your feet now nearly screaming at him. He slowly turned to look at you. A serious look on his face. You caught your tongue and sat back down, trying to regain your composure. Heimdall waited a few minutes before continuing to speak.

“When the Bifrost fell into Yggdrasil Loki fell with it. However, unlike the pieces of the Bifrost, Loki disappeared from my sight during the fall.”

You held your breath waiting for him to continue but he fell silent.

“What are you saying?” 

“I am merely stating the fact that I do not sense him in this world, however, I did not sense him enter Valhalla nor Helheim.”

Another moment of silence. You tried to process what he was saying but it was too much at once. Heimdall took another breath.

“I do not wish to unnecessarily raise your hopes, but it is feasible Loki survived the fall.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Heimdall was not one to joke or lie. If he was telling you this he truly believed it possible. You took a few breaths, calming your heart and collecting your thoughts.

“Then where is he?”

Your voice remained relatively calm but there was a hit of panic just beneath the surface.

“If he is alive he is shielded from my view in another realm.”

The small bit of hope that was rising in you instantly collapsed with his words.

“So he could be alone and hurt in another realm and we can’t save him.”

You felt your hands begin to shake as anger and hopelessness took over you once more.

“I would not speak this to you if it was only going to hurt you.”

Your head raised slightly to finally meet his gaze.

“Do you remember what I told you in the Bifrost before Loki came?”

You didn’t want to, but your thoughts drifted back to that night. You tried to avoid thinking of Loki, to push through to your talk with Heimdall, but your mind was stuck on the final look Loki gave you. You felt a tear stream down your cheek as you shook your head trying to get rid of the sight. Heimdall seemed to notice your struggle, quickly speaking up.

“Loki had ways to travel between realms without using the Bifrost.”

You wiped away the single tear processing what Heimdall was telling you.

“You’re saying there is a way for us to leave Asgard and look for him.”

You glanced up at Heimdall catching a glimpse of sadness on his face. He immediately turned away.

“If that is what you wish, I can show you the area I believe the portal to be. However, you would have to go alone, I cannot leave Asgard unprotected. Moreover, if you were to go through the portal, there is no certainty you would be able to return to Asgard.”

You finally caught up to what he was saying, if you searched for Loki, it would be alone, you would have to leave everyone here behind, including Heimdall. There was another moment of silence. You tried to think of something to say to him, something that summed up all the feelings you felt, but nothing came to your mind. You knew you couldn't stay.

“It will not be the same without you here.”

There was a hint of sadness in his voice but a loving smile on his face. Before you knew it your arms were wrapped around him.

“Thank you.”

He slowly embraced you back, softly patting your back. You stayed like that for a few minutes before Heimdall pulled away. He swiftly stood up before holding his hand out to you and helping you up as well.

“Take the night to prepare and say your goodbyes, then meet me at the castle entrance tomorrow at dawn.”

With that he turned away heading into the city. You felt a pang of guilt as you watched him depart. Heimdall was like a father to you, he was one of the few that helped you get accustomed to your new life on Asgard when you first came here. He was always looking out for your wellbeing and happiness. But then you realized, he was doing this for your happiness. You let one more tear roll down your cheek as you watched him disappear into the city. _I will make this up to you one day. I swear it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay also, is it just me. I totally thought Heimdall said somewhere that he saw Loki disappear or something when he fell or said something along the lines of he fell to darkness. Idk maybe I imagined it or read it in some other fic haha. But yeah, that's what we are going with people haha


	42. Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have about 6-8 more chapters planned before we finally arrive at the Avengers timeline and all that lovely angst comes back. Yay! haha   
> Got to build up your character a bit more before that. But like 3-4 of these chapters will be a flashback to adorable Loki times so hopefully, that helps satisfy until then.   
> As always I hope you enjoy :)

Night had fallen before you finally mustered up the courage to start to say your good-byes. You didn’t know where to start or even what to say. You thought it best you keep your mission between you and Heimdall. You quickly turned a corner in the castle still trying to think of the right words to say when you collided against something hard. You stumbled back, losing your footing but a strong hand caught your arm before you fell.

“(Y/N)? I had not realized you left your room. Have you need of something?”

You recognized the voice instantly, only it was less boastful than normal.

“I’m okay. Thank you Thor.”

You briefly caught his eyes as he pulled you back into a standing position. But he quickly turned away. You both stood there in silence.

“I-“

“I am truly sorry.”

Thor’s voice cut off yours.

“I did everything I could, I know how much he meant to you.”

You had never seen Thor like this, it was like all his arrogance was gone. You were taken aback.

“I tried to hold on to him, but he just let go.”

There was a slight crack in his voice at the end. You quickly placed a hand on his arm.

“It’s okay Thor, Heimdall said you did everything you could. I believe you. He was your brother, I am sorry for your loss as well.”

Thor brought his hand up to yours giving it a soft squeeze. A silence fell over you. You decided it best not to tell him you were leaving as well. He would only try and stop you or worse, come with you, and Asgard needed him more than you did. You took a deep breath and slowly dropped your hand from his arm but he held onto yours.

“Do you know where Sif is?”

“Last I saw she was leaving the great hall heading for the training grounds.”

“Thank you.”

You have his hand a soft squeeze, he took the sign and let go. You slowly moved past him towards the training grounds but paused near the end of the corridor. You slowly turned back to him.

“You will make a great king someday.”

Thor turned to you, a shocked expression on his face, you gave him your most genuine smile before turning down the next hall towards the training grounds.

You neared the training grounds and wondered if Sif was indeed there. The area remained rather silent, only sounds from the crackling torches reaching your ears. You made the final turn and instantly were hit with the sound of clinking metal. _Guess that answers that._ You moved to stand beside a column, the courtyard that made up the training grounds sitting in front of you. Sif was along the other side beating the life out of a practice dummy.

“You know they have feelings right?”

Sif finished one more swing, completely taking off the head of the dummy before turning to you.

“Just because you named each one does not mean they have feelings.”

She tossed her sword to the side quickly bending to grab a canteen of water before making her way to you.

“Iralyth begs to differ.”

You pointed at the dummy that was barely hanging onto the post. Sif took a quick sip of water before coming to stop in front of you, her eyes searching yours. You began to feel a bit uneasy and turned away.

“Whatever you are thinking of doing, don’t.”

You let out a soft gasp your face quickly turned back to hers.

“What?”

“I understood how you felt, staying in your room for days, not eating, barely speaking to anyone. But now you are here telling jokes? I don’t know what you have planned but I beg of you, do not go through with it.”

Sif grabbed you by the shoulders, her eyes refusing to leave yours.

“We will get through this, you have people here, people who care for you, do not give that up.”

You could feel the intense emotion radiating from her and you almost believed her words. Almost. You raised your hands, removing Sif from your shoulders and taking her hands in yours. You gave her the best smile you could muster as you held back the tears.

“I’m sorry Sif, but I can’t stay here.”

You could practically see her heart break, but you kept your composure.

“This is something that I must do, but I am not giving up, I have found something to fight for, it’s just not here.”

You could see her processing your words.

“Then let me come with you, we will fight through this together.”

You softly shook your head, your thoughts returning to your meeting with Thor a few minutes ago.

“He needs you here.”

A soft whimper left her lips as she tossed her arms around you.

“Just know you always have family here, if you ever need anything, just ask.”

You held her close, doing everything in your power to control the growing emotion inside you. Sif was the first to pull away, quickly wiping the few tears from her face.

“You better not die, or I will storm Valhalla to bring you back.”

You gave a soft laugh.

“Same to you. Be safe. And take it easy on Iralyth.”

She laughed through her tears punching you softly on the shoulder.

“No promises.”

You gave her one final smile before turning away. The emotions you were trying to hold back finally breaking through as you exited the training grounds, a tear falling down your face.

You managed to get your emotions back in check as you headed for your final stop. You were still trying to get your thoughts in order when the garden came into view. You finally realized Heimdall was telling the truth. The once tranquil garden was torn askew, bushes were missing branches, flowerbeds were trampled and the pear tree had way more gashes in it than you remembered. As you took in the garden your eyes fell on a woman tending to a sad-looking flower on the opposite side. You felt your chest tighten, you still had no idea what you were going to say.

“I’m glad you have finally ventured outside your room.”

The soft voice made you jump and you instinctively ducked behind one of the columns.

“Come now sweetie, aren’t we past all that?”

She kept her eyes on the flower in front of her but her hand waved you over. You stayed planted along the column for a few moments before venturing out across the garden. You stopped a few meters from where Frigga was kneeling, still not sure exactly what to say. Instead, you watched her tend to the plant. Its stem had been nearly severed and nearly all of the petals had fallen to the ground. To be honest, you would be surprised if it was still upright by the morning. Yet, Frigga was in the process of bracing the stem on either side.

“Why bother, there is no way it will survive.”

Frigga did not look up from the plant.

“It is my responsibility to make sure it does.”

“What?”

You had seen Frigga pull out thousands of plants before, some sick with illness, some destroyed by your training sessions. Whatever the case, she removed them to ‘allow the others the chance to thrive.’ And yet she seemed to be doing everything in her power to keep this one alive.

“It was my anger that caused the damage, it is my responsibility to make it right.”

You heard the sadness in her voice, which in turn brought your emotions back to the surface. You swiftly knelt beside her and helped tie the braces in place.

“What if we can’t save it?”

Her hands slowly pulled away from the flower.

“Then we didn’t deserve to have it in our garden in the first place, and shall learn from our mistakes so nothing else in the garden meets the same fate.”

You kept your eyes on the plant, fearing looking at her would release the feelings you were trying so hard to keep back.

“Then I must do everything in my power to save it.”

“Sweetie, it is not your responsibility. You did not break it.”

You felt a gentle hand on your shoulder and fought to keep the tears at bay.

“Even if I didn’t cause all the damage, I failed to protect it. I am just as much at fault as anyone.”

You felt the hand lift from your shoulder but quickly arms enveloped you in a tight hug.

“You do what you must sweetie. No matter what I will be here for you when you return.”

You froze in confusion for a second but quickly returned the hug. Your emotions finally getting the better of you as a few tears trickled down your cheeks. You remained in her embrace for a few minutes, neither of you wanting to pull away.

“You should get some rest, you will need it.”

Frigga slowly pulled away from you and you took the moment to wipe your damp cheeks.

“Oh, and please, take this with you.”

Frigga pulled out a cloth and handed it over to you. It was fairly heavy and you gathered there was something inside. You gave her a questioning look which she returned with a small nod. You flipped the cloth over in your hand and slowly unwrapped it. You froze as the final piece of cloth fell away, revealing what was inside. Your eyes shot up to Frigga.

“I can’t.”

“It would be rude to refuse a gift.”

“But…”

Your eyes drifted down to your hands. The polished metal seemed to glimmer in the moonlight. Your fingers traced over the gold hilt till the edge before pausing. An emerald cloth drifted in the wind, but you couldn’t bring yourself to touch it.

“He would be so mad if he knew I had them.”

A half-hearted laugh left your lips as your eyes continued to trace over the daggers in your hands.

“Well, he can have them back when he comes home.”

A small smirk appeared on her face and you both broke into genuine laughs.

“I'll be sure to tell him that.”

You gave another soft laugh but it was cut short. The feeling of dread taking hold of you again. You carefully folded up the daggers again and rose to your feet. Frigga followed your motion and accompanied you to the edge of the garden, before turning to face you.

“Be careful sweetie. I could not bear to lose you both.”

“Of course.”

You moved to give her a small bow but once again you felt her arms around you. You returned the hug squeezing probably a little tighter than necessary. You felt her begin to pull away but you didn’t want to let go.

“No matter what happens, I will always love you.”

The words instantly brought tears to your eyes and you found yourself clutching on to her even tighter.

“No matter what?”

The words were barely audible through your sobs.

“No matter what.”


	43. Lithasblot pt.3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the flashback fluff piece

Music and laughter filled the halls, much more than you had ever heard in the short time you had lived in Asgard. Each clinking of glasses or boisterous laughter only added to the anxiety that was slowly growing inside you. You pulled at the fabric that was knotted around your shoulder as you watched the people move around the room.

“Careful, you do not want that to come undone.”

You flinched at the voice before recognizing it as Loki’s. You quickly turned to him. His robes were similar to what he normally wore but instead, the accented colours were red and orange. You preferred green.

“Sorry I took so long, nearly everyone tried to stop me to talk about nonsense.”

He handed you a small glass filled with a silver-looking liquid which you carefully took into your own hands.

“No one bothered you did they?”

You pulled your eyes up from the glass and gave your head a small shake.

“Good.”

Loki gave you a small smile before taking a sip from his glass and turning to the crowds.

“There are more here than usual. If it is too much just let me know.”

He turned back to you and you gave him a small nod before eyeing the glass again.

“It is a special juice made from the Pinak plant. Mother makes it herself, it is pretty sweet but rather refreshing.”

You glanced at Loki who seemed to have caught you staring at the glass.

“I can get you some water if that is what you would prefer.”

You gave your head another shake before taking a small sip from your glass. He was right, it was very sweet, like nothing you had tasted before, but you couldn’t help but taste some more. You heard Loki stifle a laugh and you shot him a questioning look.

“I have never seen you enjoy something that much.”

You shot him a glare which caused him to laugh even more. You were ready to give him a piece of your mind but were cut off by an older gentleman.

“So you are the one Odin rescued from that slave planet.”

The closeness of the voice made you flinch, causing some of the juice to splash on your hand. You felt a presence beside you and glanced up to see that Loki had stepped in front of you.

“It is a rather fascinating story, however, father tells it much better than I, you should converse with him.”

It was like Loki’s voice and demeanor changed completely, there was a business-like coldness you had never heard before that sent a chill up your spine. It reminded you of how Dionysus spoke to someone he was not fond of. But the older gentleman seemed to believe Loki’s words and turned quickly scanning the room, most likely for Odin. Loki waited until he disappeared from view before turning to face you again.

“Sorry, I hadn’t realized word about you had spread. There will probably be more like him, I’ll make sure they do not bother you.”

You nodded your head slightly, still trying to process the change you just witnessed in Loki’s personality. You felt a familiar coldness on your hand breaking you from your thoughts.

“Come with me, we should wash this off.”

Loki took your hand, gently pulling you through the crowds, getting stopped occasionally for conversation but quickly blowing it off to continue through the crowd. After making it through two ballrooms and multiple hallways you finally found yourself in an empty garden. Loki finally letting go of your hand. He took a few deep breaths before facing you.

“Sorry, everyone is so talkative at these events.”

You slowly shook your head as if telling him it was fine before looking around the garden. It was rather plain, a few bushes along the edges and an empty flower bed on either side of the entrance. But in the center was a magnificent 3 tiered fountain with various Pegasus’ carved along the base. Normally you found water made you nervous, but you felt drawn to the fountain. _So beautiful._ You slowly walked along the perimeter of the fountain taking in each individual carving.

“This is one of my favourite places, it’s normally nice and quiet.”

You turned to Loki who was at the other side of the fountain, dipping something into the water. He had a point, even with the party happening throughout the castle, it was relatively quiet in this garden.

“Alright come here.”

You gave him another questioning look but he waved you over. You slowly circled the fountain to him still unsure what he wanted. Once you got close you realized he had a damp cloth in his hand, his other was outstretched to you. You must have still looked confused as he let out another small laugh.

“If we do not wipe that juice off quick it will get sticky.”

He gestured to your hand. You raised it to inspect it and he quickly caught it in the cloth, you flinched slightly but calmed as Loki carefully wiped the remnants of the juice off your hand.

“There, no harm is done.”

Loki let your hand go and quickly washed the cloth off in the fountain. You felt a pang of guilt go through you as you realized how much work you had been.

“I’m sorry.”

Your whisper barely left your lips but somehow Loki heard it. His face turning to you.

“What for?”

You bit your lip, your head turning towards the party.

“I’m stopping you from enjoying the party.”

Loki’s laugher filled the garden.

“You think I actually enjoy this. Hundreds of people asking you about your life when they really don’t care, all they want is to brag about theirs. The special clothes, the special ceremonies, the dances, it's rather exhausting. I doubt anyone here even knows what it is we are meant to be celebrating.”

Loki slid down the side of the fountain to sit on the ground, his hand playing with the grass.

“It is important to keep up relationships with the various colonies but there has to be a more conservative option than this. What is wrong with one meeting between the leaders, why do we need all this pomp and circumstance? Furthermore, nothing of consequence ever gets mentioned at one of these parties anyway.” 

Loki’s eyes were fixed on the blades of grass between his fingers, as he sulked. All the tension you had been feeling seemed to melt away and you moved to take a seat next to him.

“Sorry, I did not mean to bore you.”

“You aren’t. I’m just glad I’m not the only one that doesn’t like parties. We could just stay out here.”

You gave him a small smile.

“You could, it is expected of me to attend.”

Loki’s expression seemed to drop as he stared towards the direction of the party. It was a look you decided you never wanted to see on his face.

“In that case, I’ll stick by you during these parties.”

Loki’s eyes snapped to you, a slight expression of shock present across his features.

“I could never force you to endure that. You barely survived an hour in there.”

You paused. It was true these parties made you very uncomfortable, but you had to get used to them. This was your home now, things here were different, you needed to get used to your new normal.

“If you stick by my side, I’ll stick by yours. We are stronger together.”

You gave him a soft smile before rising to your feet and stretching your hand out to his. He stared at you for a moment before breaking into a smirk and grabbing your hand. You quickly hoisted him up to his feet. He took a moment to brush off his robs before locking eyes with you.

“Then we shall get through these parties together, and if either of us needs to leave for any reason the other will help them escape. Deal?”

Loki held his hand out to yours and you quickly grasped it.

“Deal.”

You both gave a firm shake before Loki pulled your hand and maneuvered it around his arm. You gave a small laugh before following him back to the party arm in arm.


End file.
